twisted love

how to deal with anxiety?

5 posts in this topic

i do not have clinical anxiety or anxiety attacks, i just feel small levels and amounts of anxiety like every other person. but i do not know how to deal with it, i hate feeling anxious, if i get really anxious i will drink for a few to many days and avoid all responsibilities until i feel ok enough to face what was making me anxious. i still will drink even if it's not alot of anxious but just alittle bit. if i don't drink i end up feeling bad emotionally and physically for several hours after i face whatever was making me anxious, i feel like a pit or and empty feeling inside me sometimes. i no it's because i don't deal with anxious tho? i no anxiety is one of the bad feeling that nobody likes but everyone has to deal with it, how do i deal with it in a constructive way?

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Hi twisted :)

I personally believe acceptance is the best way to help conquer anxiety. You stated that you hated anxiety (as do I) and its hard to really get a handle on accepting it but if you can just try to be ok with your anxiety, just let it be there, dont fear it, dont let it win and do those things that make you anxious and just let the anxiety be there without rejecting it, hating it or fighting the feelings, then after a certain amount of time, not only will you start to teach your brain that whatever was making you anxious, is actually nothing to fear and your anxiety will settle down but at the same time you will be rewiring your brain on a physiological level to learn new non-anxious behaviours. Every time you let your anxiety take a hold of you and avoid the things that make you anxious, you are confirming to your brain that it is doing the right thing by feeling anxious (trying to keep you safe from supposed danger).

Claire Weekes books really help with the whole acceptance thing so you could give them a read and also learning a wee bit about neuroplasticity and 'What fires together, wires together' is super helpful aswell as it explains whats going on in your brain when you have certain habits and behaviours and gives you hope that youre able to retrain your brain.

Sam x

Edited by Skgray
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I think it might work like this:

There is nothing more daunting than having to deal with yourself, reality, undistracted. Anxiety or a feeling of boredom or both are what happens.

People distract themselves from the immensity of truth. They explore the world and relationships, anything to bring themselves enough self-satisfaction to (hopefully) once again face themselves, undistracted.

It's like an ebb and flow of human development?

I don't know.

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Something that has really helped me is to be present.

It is literally observing everything around me including my feelings ... bright computer screen, clock ticking, green leafy plant in a marble pot, numb hands, ache in chest, sadness, choking feeling, eyes stinging, loss, pulling, grief.... once I reach grief and I have tears welling up ( for you it might be a different emotion ) I sit with it, the feelings, the grief. Honestly its not really fun and depending if your the sort that likes to be upbeat and positive all the time you might not like to even think about sitting with these feelings, but once you do. They no longer feel ignored and you have less and less anxiety. I recommend doing this daily if you can rather than wait for the anxiety to trigger you.

All the best.

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