AndreaZoukera

Inability to create safety in Safe Haven and Support Figures

2 posts in this topic

Inability to create safety in Safe Haven and Support Figures

Hi everyone,

I purchased Teals book a couple of days ago and really find it super logical which appeals to me. 

However, trying the approach I come accross some difficulties. When I try to imagine a Safe Haven there is always something that makes it unsafe, e.g. a witch flying in and poisining my healing water, or bullets being shot through the roof into my Safe Haven or people attacking etc. Even my Safety Support Figure converts into a monster and it doesn't matter who I choose as a Safety Support Figure. Actually when I am with my inner child even I can convert into someone abusive. That is not exactly what I wanted haha 😄

I guess it should reflect the lack of safety I feel as well as the lack of trust I have in myself to make myself feel safe. Now I was wondering what to do about it. I just watched a video of Teal 'How to meet your needs' and 'Feeling Signature'. I guess I will start off with those to help me feel safe. I haven't tried that yet though and was wondering whether someone maybe has another idea how I can create more safety during my Completion Process?

Thanks so much in advance :)

Andrea

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Hallo Andrea,

sorry about my english, in the last decade I never used it in conversations.

But may my personal experience helps you a little bit. I've had the same problem in trauma therapy until I recognized that the save haven is nothing else than a space, where I feel save to calm down and relax. The solution for me was, to be absolutely in present. I cannot imagine a saver space than my own flat in the here-and-now-moment and my personal save haven is lying on the bed, hugging my cats, knowing that no one has access to us. To stay in present I used over time different  techniques like breathing exercises, Mantra chanting (my favorite is the Ajai Alai Mantra), barefoot walking, experience the nature from my balcony, 5-4-3-2-1-exercise, the feelt body sense (Peter Levine & Co), EFT, tapping and so on. Yoga seems to help some people to ground themselves. Others with somatic syndromes caused by trauma, like me, helps Kundalini Yoga to experience suppressed emotions. So it was a trial and error thing to check out, wich ways and techniques where the most effective in comforting myself. It was also important, to exercise 1 or 2 of my favorite techniques on a regular basis.

Very inspiring for alternative solutions was the lecture of Peter Levines books. In my opinion is his therapy approach a good addition to Teal Swans, for example In An Unspoken Voice and Waking The Tiger

Lisa-Milena

 

I forgot to write: I work not with 'imagined' helpers. I'm the one, who's helping my child. My traumatised child is Lisa, the adult women Milena. My emergency help is my best friend. She does also her personal emotional work. I can call her, if I have problems - like she calls me, when she has some.  

Edited by Lisa-Milena

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