Jerry Tyfting

Braking boundaries abuse

9 posts in this topic

So recently I have gotten feelings I feel so scared of.

I believe I violate my own boundaries so much but at the same time I feel so unsure how. I can feel it when I'm in the process of choosing, especially when it comes to food. I have gotten feelings of intense anger and I got the sensation I wanted to slap myself in the face (close to actually slap myself once but did not). I got that sense right before I wrote this too.

I don't even know why :( 
I don't understand what I do to get these feelings of anger. I had barely a healthy sense of self growing up so understandable that I have issues with it now but still.
Have also issues with my mind wanting something but when I sink in to my heart It tells me something else. Maybe it is my ego or that I'm so used to living from the head that I violate it when I practice living from the heart...I feel so unsure.

Edited by Jerry Tyfting
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I have no advice to give you today. But to only share that I feel as if I'm in the same boat & solidarity & love will make me feel better. I hope it helps u. 

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Live now as I would in the future...how do I even do that when my values barely if ever matches anyone? For me to follow my values means a very lonely life rather than hanging out with those who lives in trauma or unwilling to speak from emotion.

However I value genuine connection and deep felt interactions more, so much so it is almost scary how much of my energy I have put in to figuring out connection and bonding with another.  

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12 minutes ago, Jerry Tyfting said:

Live now as I would in the future...how do I even do that when my values barely if ever matches anyone? For me to follow my values means a very lonely life rather than hanging out with those who lives in trauma or unwilling to speak from emotion.

However I value genuine connection and deep felt interactions more, so much so it is almost scary how much of my energy I have put in to figuring out connection and bonding with another.  

your boundaries are based on your values. So if you reject your values you reject your boundaries. This is why you feel anguish when making decisions. You have to live according to your values because ultimately you can't be happy until you do. It was a lesson it took me a long time to learn. But I'm so glad I did. 

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8 hours ago, authorofdarkness said:

Can you give me an example of a value that has made you feel like you were alone?

I value my senses. I practice prioritizing them, when I do that and share how I  feel and perceive things, beings tend to avoid, block or defend against what I share unless I hold back and talk about more "surfacy" stuff.
Most beings I have interacted with do this, only very few can interact the way I want to interact. That way of interacting I want I do value as well by the way. It is a language of "felt speaking". Believe it or not but it is challenging to find those who have cleared their traumas and blocks enough to have a pleasant (for me anyways) conversation.   

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12 hours ago, Jerry Tyfting said:

Believe it or not but it is challenging to find those who have cleared their traumas and blocks enough to have a pleasant (for me anyways) conversation.   

ok well start one here, I'd like to have a conversation with you.

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@authorofdarkness A conversation in chat would be much more interactive...because in post form you can type something then leave it there if you are busy, but in chat it is as if there is someone there at the moment of typing. The emotional speak I talked about tend to be a little off in post form, it is a "lag" feel to it.

Like write a post then walk away and do something else while waiting for the others response...that walking away can be felt, I have felt it before and thus a convo in post form is more of a letter than an actual "talk".

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