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gregy26

Mom is grieving. I don’t know how to console her.

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Mom is grieving. I don’t know how to console her.

My dad just recently passed away a few weeks ago and after all the silent grieving, my mom has finally started to speak again. One night, she and I were having dinner together, just the two of us, and we got into the topic of her past with my dad. She told me how they first met through a new years party dating service event they both worked in and when they started talking, she knew that he was the one. They proceeded to have a wonderful dating period and soon later after that, they got into a married life together. She continued to tell me all about his accomplishments in life and how she’s so proud of him. She explained on and on how he was a great man and then started to cry. 

Ever since the talk, she’s been crying every night before she goes to sleep. I feel bad that I might have brought up the topic and led her to open up some fresh wounds. I don’t know how to console people and I really want my mom to feel better. Can someone give me some advice on this?

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To me, that sounds like progress. She's dealing with it, even if it's hard to witness. Losing a partner is devastating. Expressing those feelings is healthier than keeping them pressed down. Don't feel bad you brought it up: she said she's proud of him. That's beautiful. It only makes sense to be sad about what happened.

She needs to feel those feelings. It'll take a long time for those kinds of wounds to heal. Just be there when she needs you to be. Best thing you can do for her as family is to do the best you can to be loving and supportive.

Edited by Done Now

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