I’m terrified of being raped

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I’m terrified of being raped

I don’t ever recall being sexually assaulted. However I live in a house where I’ve had to give up my boundaries, and I’m just learning how restrained and fearful I am about communicating with people. I feel like these circumstances, along with agonizing over it have made me so scared of being assaulted. I can’t speak for all women but this fear feels more than the natural fear a women may have when walking alone at night. It feels like there’s more to it that I’ve yet to uncover. I know that pushing my fear to the side won’t help. I’ve tried to not let myself feel victimized but I always end up supressing the way I really feel.

Do any of you feel the same or similar? Thoughts?


I should also note that I’m going away to college this fall and I’ll be living on my own for the first time. I already feel alone in my family, and the thought of telling them that I’d been asualted makes me feel weird. I feel very uncomfortable being vulnerable around them. This is something that’s been in the back of my mind for years and is now bubbling up because I’ll be leaving soon. 

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Hi Ripley,

The first thought that occurred to me was “if you want to have physical intimacy then it isn’t rape”.  Sex can be loving and tender.  It can also be raucous and rough.  But if you want it then it isn’t rape.

But now I think that maybe you have general anxiety because your boundaries have been violated so many times.   In my honest opinion, most people out there is the world are decent, caring, and trustworthy.  Sure there are some real jerks but in general most people are actually okay.

There is no doubt in my mind that when you get to college you will find some friends (both male and female)  If you are open to it, you will make connections with people who will respect your boundaries but still let themselves be seen and heard, and really want to see and hear you too.  It takes time to develop trust.  But once you find some friends who you trust, take them with you if you have to walk somewhere at night.  That’s what friends are for.

(and also campus security.  Campus security will escort people if they ask.  Don’t be afraid to ask.)

Edited by Scot
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