Yeiess

Negative imprint and famiily

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Negative imprint and famiily

Should we stop expecting our parents to love us the way we want to be loved simply because they can`t love us the way we want them to because they were the people who brought us in to our negative imprint in the first place? And should we make it a rule to look for authentic love and understanding from other people than our family? 

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The way I understand, the theory goes that our parents set up our template of what love is.  Thus we fall into relationships that are similar to the relationship we had with our parents.  At least that is the story if we are not awakened and just running on autopilot.

On the other hand, if we are awake enough to realize that the pattern of love we actually want is different from the love we get then I suppose we should take the next step and realize that our parents are doing the best they can given their own background and negative imprint.  

So maybe yes, you have to look elsewhere.  Right now, I’m reminded:  you can’t always get want you want. But if you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need.  (Not always!)

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Yes, I think.... I know... I have to let it go and look for it elsewhere but it's difficult when our realities (me and my parents) are so different. They expect me to be happy when I'm around them. I have stopped trying to talk to them. But sometimes I just need to put up some boundaries, and then I feel ashamed for not being able to love my parents and for being angry at them and because of that I don't feel like I deserve love elsewhere. So I can't ever win. 

So what do you mean when you say that you can't always get what you want but you get what you need? Can you give me an example on what that looks like for you?

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