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What's wrong with validation?

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I've come here to learn something useful and I've come across a funny contradiction.

Now we all SHOULD know (emphasis on should) that in order to accept ones self 100% one must feel validated, as to say, they must believe they are who they are and that who they are is worthy.

Why is it that people here try to use my need to learn more about me and prove to myself that my already validated self is my existence against me? 

I could've sworn even Teal said self validation is one of the most important things lol as long as its coming from self in the end.

I'm just wondering what others believe about this. 

Please don't make this about me or some people will cry because they don't like me Lol 

@Sephiroth88 and @YOD @authorofdarkness I'd be interesting to know what you three think on this matter especially.  Oh @Stephanie Wintermute as well and @amy faragher you might benefit from some of the responses people could give on this discussion

Is validation bad if coming from self analysis?  Is it not ok to gather info on others in order to better understand ones self?

Edited by Yamanu
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for me, there is introspection and a lot of questioning to go towards my core. if i 'discover' something that i can then recognise in everyone else, i know is a core element of who i am (not who i think i am).

because...one core. all the rest is layers of separation material in different mixes and blends, none of it truth.

and i validate that 'bit' with no trace of doubt. i know who i am.

the rest of (what i think is) me is still under investigation. but that further exploration is just for the fun of it, to enjoy my place in the perfection of the whole design, not to discover anything about me anymore. just to enjoy myself. as my true self.

not sure that answers to your question, is just what your question brought up in me. 

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3 hours ago, mufhry said:

for me, there is introspection and a lot of questioning to go towards my core. if i 'discover' something that i can then recognise in everyone else, i know is a core element of who i am (not who i think i am).

because...one core. all the rest is layers of separation material in different mixes and blends, none of it truth.

and i validate that 'bit' with no trace of doubt. i know who i am.

the rest of (what i think is) me is still under investigation. but that further exploration is just for the fun of it, to enjoy my place in the perfection of the whole design, not to discover anything about me anymore. just to enjoy myself. as my true self.

not sure that answers to your question, is just what your question brought up in me. 

It does thank you for answering.

I knew you had something I could learn from but the arguing was blocking it.

I don't experience it that way its kinda the opposite.

If everyone doesnt have it in common I study it more because its more likely I have more in common with that element.  

I can still learn from people though that's why I keep responding when y'all say things I don't resonate with about me.

Cause I want to reach this point here which is useful for us both.

Edited by Yamanu
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i don't know what arguing are you talking about. it didn't look like that from here.

when i share my point of view, that doesn't come with expecting anyone to agree with it. you do whatever you want with it, is not meant to convince you of anything, i am just saying how it looks like from here. 

i believe you that it looks the way you describe it from where you are, so you don't need to convince me of anything either. 

i just like how it looks from where i am seeing right now and i am describing it to you, as an alternative angle.

i am not arguing perspectives or ways of being, i am interested to hear more about them. poking at them is a handy way to know them, because they will react and come to the surface of the individual experiencing them. the individual tho, might perceive that as an attack or take it personal.

and look how similar the both of us split our posts in paragraphs and ideas. enjoy that similarity for a moment. see how it feels. or whatever way you perceive it. (have you given it a name to your sensing nature, btw? you could coin a new term)

 

 

 

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4 minutes ago, mufhry said:

i don't know what arguing are you talking about. it didn't look like that from here.

when i share my point of view, that doesn't come with expecting anyone to agree with it. you do whatever you want with it, is not meant to convince you of anything, i am just saying how it looks like from here. 

i believe you that it looks the way you describe it from where you are, so you don't need to convince me of anything either. 

i just like how it looks from where i am seeing right now and i am describing it to you, as an alternative angle.

i am not arguing perspectives or ways of being, i am interested to hear more about them. poking at them is a handy way to know them, because they will react and come to the surface of the individual experiencing them. the individual tho, might perceive that as an attack or take it personal.

and look how similar the both of us split our posts in paragraphs and ideas. enjoy that similarity for a moment. see how it feels. or whatever way you perceive it. (have you given it a name to your sensing nature, btw? you could coin a new term)

 

 

 

Its similar yes.  You probably do it because its easier to read when its not all bunched up and I agree lol.

I don't perceive it as attack but if you blatantly tell me you don't think I'm going through what I'm going through that couldn't be anything more or less than arguing.

If you want to know more about me asking questions that don't insinuate that I'm lying would gain better results.

Its probable though that you don't see what your saying as arguing and Im learning to take that into account more often.

Idk about others but me personally I have a hard time saying in words what I experience so it can be trying for people to talk to me.

Your right about the poking it works with some people they expose themselves.

I think that's why Adam keeps trying poking at me he thinks I'll expose some shadow but I have none ? 

Sometimes you gotta take what people say and flip it and say how would I perceive that experience.

Im good at that but I sometimes disregard other peoples level of understanding of the principles I embody and apply.

 

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you've said one thing tho that i know for a fact that is not true. you've said that you are different. i know for a fact that you are not. you know, the one core thing.

so i was telling you that you are not different, you just think you are. because different surface levels than your peers. dig deeper. right now, you are exploring horizontally. your surface level vs. other's surface level. 

dig deeper. to the one core. i guarantee you that you are not different. just your persona is different than other personas.

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6 minutes ago, mufhry said:

you've said one thing tho that i know for a fact that is not true. you've said that you are different. i know for a fact that you are not. you know, the one core thing.

so i was telling you that you are not different, you just think you are. because different surface levels than your peers. dig deeper. right now, you are exploring horizontally. your surface level vs. other's surface level. 

dig deeper. to the one core. i guarantee you that you are not different. just your persona is different than other personas.

I understand that and it makes sense.  Its True to a degree.

We are all made up of the same core elements.  That is undeniable.

What's different that I'm referring to is the order of those elements.  

We all have different orders some far more different than others.  I appear to be ordered in the reverse of what most people are.  

That's what I was referring to exactly.  

I've been studying people since I got here on this planet and saying things here and there as I do now.

Their reactions and actions let me know their order as well as the texture of their energy.  That was how I began to notice how different my order was from theirs.

I'm getting better at seeing energy now as well so I can't wait to be able to delve deeper into auric translation.

 

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1 hour ago, Yamanu said:

 

Why is it that people here try to use my need to learn more about me and prove to myself that my already validated self is my existence against me? 

Is validation bad if coming from self analysis?  Is it not ok to gather info on others in order to better understand ones self?

 

@Yamanu You do have a shadow because you have a subconscious :) Certain people will disagree with you and your methods, that's life, and that's okay. I love it when people argue with me, it gives me a chance to learn and an opportunity to defend my position logically. Use conflict or others doubts or criticism as an opportunity to strengthen your beliefs. Don't feed into it personally, every person who has every put forth an idea was met with some sort of resistance. It happens to us all. :) 

Nothing bad ever comes from self-anaylsis, self analysis is vital to expansion. Your method is unique. Nothing wrong with it ethically as long as you don't invade other privacy. But from a pragmatic standpoint, it seems like the hardest way to do self-anaylsis. There is so much data that needs to be gathered and analyzed to look for correlations and patterns. And there so many variables like, race, age, upbringing, culture, intelligence, mental illness, religion... it goes on and on... Now, if you are happy to do that wonderful, you get knowledge of self and other, which is very useful. But I would say take the shortcut, why not sit and be unconditionally present with yourself in the moment and learn about yourself that way? That's the simplest way :) 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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eh, i've typed a reply and then it got lost. 

in short, what i was saying, is that i believe that where you are looking there are loads of differences. do you believe me that where i am looking there are none? and that we are both right?

there is only the one core - which is the same and never changing - and all the rest is surface levels. i call surface levels any level where there are still differences. from physical to the most subtle layers of reality. 

if one looks at the differences, that keeps them focused in the layers of differenthood, or differenceness. and there yes, is all mixes and blends and flavors of the same elements.

what's underneath that? where does that all spring from? the primordial point. prior to the different blends. your 'starting' point. the you, always the same, regardless of any surface change.

what i meant to say is when you know who you are, all differences cease to exist. 

Edited by mufhry

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33 minutes ago, authorofdarkness said:

 

@Yamanu You do have a shadow because you have a subconscious :) Certain people will disagree with you and your methods, that's life, and that's okay. I love it when people argue with me, it gives me a chance to learn and an opportunity to defend my position logically. Use conflict or others doubts or criticism as an opportunity to strengthen your beliefs. Don't feed into it personally, every person who has every put forth an idea was met with some sort of resistance. It happens to us all. :) 

Nothing bad ever comes from self-anaylsis, self analysis is vital to expansion. Your method is unique. Nothing wrong with it ethically as long as you don't invade other privacy. But from a pragmatic standpoint, it seems like the hardest way to do self-anaylsis. There is so much data that needs to be gathered and analyzed to look for correlations and patterns. And there so many variables like, race, age, upbringing, culture, intelligence, mental illness, religion... it goes on and on... Now, if you are happy to do that wonderful, you get knowledge of self and other, which is very useful. But I would say take the shortcut, why not sit and be unconditionally present with yourself in the moment and learn about yourself that way? That's the simplest way :) 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Whatever you think about me is your level of understanding of me, the concepts I embody and apply.

You might want to believe I have shadows but I don't.

I meditate all day and I've always been a meditative soul since a child I've always meditated on things not as intensely as I do now.  This has always forced me to deal with all instantaneously and nothing will filter into my subconscious without my being aware of it. 

I learned that subconscious is habitual responses that you don't have to actually try to kick into action.  That's not shadows that's just the more mechanical side of who you are which operates almost independently and you can tweak and model it how you please.

Some peoples subconscious has bad habits but mine doesn't because since birth I have always tweaked and molded it.  As a child it came naturally to me just like walking and talking.  

The self analysis for me is like brushing my teeth.  Its just something I do that is routine and its necessary for me to to purge that which is unnecessary.

I do much sitting and being present with myself and what I discover is that there's nothing to discover.  I monitor myself closely always just like I monitor my surroundings always therefore anything that I encounter or produce I'm on top of instantly.

I get tired of the same played out arguments which is why I'd rather not.  I've never met a person who could hold their own against me in debate because most people think their 'opinion'  and how they 'feel' is valid for the all when its not that's subjective and only truly personally valid.  Even then if an opinion cannot be teathered to truth its not even personally valid its hindering.

I don't mind your 'opinion' of me but you must understand I am not wired the same sub or consciously as normal people are.

I live in the shadows and I shine with light always as the moon does so there's nothing within me I am not aware of and fully present with.

 

Edited by Yamanu
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19 minutes ago, mufhry said:

eh, i've typed a reply and then it got lost. 

in short, what i was saying, is that i believe that where you are looking there are loads of differences. do you believe me that where i am looking there are none? and that we are both right?

there is only the one core - which is the same and never changing - and all the rest is surface levels. i call surface levels any level where there are still differences. from physical to the most subtle layers of reality. 

if one looks at the differences, that keeps them focused in the layers of differenthood, or differenceness. and there yes, is all mixes and blends and flavors of the same elements.

what's underneath that? where does that all spring from? the primordial point. prior to the different blends. your 'starting' point. the you, always the same, regardless of any surface change.

what i meant to say is when you know who you are, all differences cease to exist. 

I see what you mean.

I'll just leave that one alone.

We may all have souls but we don't all have the same soul even though they're all made from the same energy.

How we progress influences that and creates pretty clear differences in our soul energy as different progress influences the soul differently.  

In the end we can all be made of bronze but its how we chisel it that matters not that we all came from bronze.  

We all have the same roots but we are different trees.  

I can't treat you the same as me because if I did you wouldn't enjoy it at all.  

Edited by Yamanu
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1 hour ago, Yamanu said:

Some peoples subconscious has bad habits but mine doesn't because since birth I have always tweaked and molded it. 

I am not wired the same sub or consciously as normal people are.

 

 

Ok well now I get the question better, you can't just assert that you are omniscient over yourself and expect everyone to go along with it. You just contradicted the majority of theories on moral and cognitive development, Freud, Erickson, Kolhberg, Piaget... you just steamrolled 'em! :PYou want us to validate something that is not possible or plausible in most of our minds. That's why people question you. 

Also there's the reason your self analysis technique will fail, if you are fundamentally different there is no reason to learn about yourself from others. It's like comparing apples and orchids flowers, both grow on plants but are completely different in nearly every way. 

 

 

Edited by authorofdarkness

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47 minutes ago, authorofdarkness said:

Ok well now I get the question better, you can't just assert that you are omniscient over yourself and expect everyone to go along with it. You just contradicted the majority of theories on moral and cognitive development, Freud, Erickson, Kolhberg, Piaget... you just steamrolled 'em! :PYou want us to validate something that is not possible or plausible in most of our minds. That's why people question you. 

Also there's the reason your self analysis technique will fail, if you are fundamentally different there is no reason to learn about yourself from others. It's like comparing apples and orchids flowers, both grow on plants but are completely different in nearly every way. 

 

 

Lol yea I know I keep trying to tell people only by listening will they understand.

I can learn from others though.

I search others essence for useful characteristics that I can apply to me.

Its like I'm not just me I'm a construction of all the useful concepts I come across that benefit me the most.  

Even if I'm a glass cup and your a plastic one we may be different but you still have things within you I can bring out of myself in order to further perfect my being.

That's why I constantly self analyze but still use others.

Because the ultimate person isn't the most authentic person, its the person who embodies the most useful qualities of all people and also sees the less useful ones judging neither of the two.  

Pulling truths out of others that can benefit my personal existence and fitting them into a spot I just made for it when they said it.

That's who I am.  

That's why its hard to say I 'feel' because I don't technically 'feel' its more like I 'Am' or I 'become' then revert back to. 

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39 minutes ago, Kalki said:

Needing validation is vampiric behavior and it's a sign of weakness.

Validation.jpg

The question was whether or not validation is bad if coming from self analysis, not outer analysis, and if its plausible to gather info on others (not from) in evaluating self for self validation. 

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