Pastor George

"The universe hates me."

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"The universe hates me."

So someone not in this group posted this on Facebook at about 3am. I replied from my not quite awake state, "The universe doesn't hate you, u hate u." Admittedly this was a knee-jerk reaction from someone who has spent decades struggling with my own self image, addiction and unwillingness to see the world as it is, in favor of seeing the world as I want or wish it to be. The universe doesn't hate you, you are part of it and as such, one with it, but it doesn't hate you, if anything it doesn't care. From a Christian perspective God loves you but the universe is his creation. Bad things, unpleasant things, difficult things happen to all of us. The difference is how we see them, how we deal with them, our attitude. We can either have an attitude of gratitude or we can be angry, or miserable, or helpless. My "u hate u" comment was met with angry responses. @Crystal Rob you've been through this. Suddenly, she and all her friends were attacking me for being insensitive, mean and abusive. I admit it! I wasn't considering her feelings, I was merely pointing out what i see as a universal truth.

I the process of having this conversation I realized what I was seeing was a very transparent example of what i see a lot of here and on Teal Tribe Facebook page. People asking for sympathy. "I feel bad, help, send me love!" Well yes, we feel what we feel, good to ask for help, love, positive energy, but it seems like this too is an example of codependency. If we reward the people we love for being sick, they will continue to be sick so they can continue to have our love and attention and sympathy. if we reward addicts they continue to be addicts, if we reward victims, they continue to be victims and we feel like we are helping them feel better until we run out of resources. How are we helping if we are enabling their addiction, misery, sickness etc? Tough love? Hard truths? Rejection? Bitter pills at best. So what r u gonna do? What am i gonna do?

From a behavioral perspective the only way to extinguish an unwanted behavior is to replace it with another, hopefully more positive, behavior. Thoughts?

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I think we all get stuck from time to time, and we need a little love and support to help us get back on track.   But I see this as “inter-dependency” and I think it’s a good thing.

But sometimes it seems that people can be unfillable pits of despair.  If someone has a strong savior complex or a need to rescue and they find a person who is an unfillable pit of despair then I think that is a recipe for co-dependency.   I watched a Teal video this morning where she says that sometimes the “savior” will actually keep the person they are trying to rescue in distress because the “savior” has a need to be needed. 

I think we all need to get to the point where we feel:  I am okay.  sure I mess up now and then and I will try to not mess up but deep down, I’m actually a good person.  And for the most part other people are okay too.  Sure they mess up now and then but deep down most people on this planet are good people”.   (I’m okay. You’re okay)

With your message “The universe doesn’t hate you. U hate u” I think you were saying that this person needs to come to the belief that he or she is actually okay.  

Some people seem to use “honesty” as an excuse for being rude.   We should try to avoid that.

And lastly, I think speakers/writers imply and listeners/readers infer.  Sometimes writers might write something that makes an implication that they  did not mean to make (but subconsciously they do believe.  Freudian slips).  but on the other hand sometimes we make implications that we just don’t mean and don’t believe on any level (I would call those mistakes.)   On the other hand, readers can infer things that the writer simply did not mean to say.  Inferences come from the subconscious mind of the listener and inferences can be very much colored by how the listener feels about the writer and how they feel about themselves.

 

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It brings me back to the topic To Help or Not to Help, and to think do I want to  been kicked servant in to my face.  

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I was watching another video yesterday.  (Not Teal). 

There is a continuum from “True Altruism” where the help provider has good emotional health to “Proud Helper” where the help provider provides help out of his or her basic need to be needed.   “Proud helper” is not in good emotional health, just average.   The continuum continues over to full on “co-dependency” where the help provider supports negative behaviors and may even discourage healthy behaviors because of the co-dependent’s feel need to be needed.   This is not healthy.

https://youtu.be/ZQg9_p_Fous

i think we can should support each other’s good emotional health and positive behaviors.  We should not “enable” which is allowing others to continue unhealthy or self-destructive behavior.

Now on another side of things, if someone believes that the world is a horrible terrible place and we need to protect ourselves from it, and that person takes it upon himself to toughen other people up by being insulting or providing “real world experience” then I think I would call that gaslighting and it is unhealthy, in my opinion.  We should work towards trusting each other, not the other way.

Edited by Scot
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3 hours ago, Adi123 said:

A POSITIVE support system is virtually non-existing in society today & very much needed. Rephrase your input in a more positive light. :5:

What is needed is awareness. If we condemn the notion/meaning of hatred, if we condemn to hate ourselves, to admit ourselves that we hate each other,  or i would rather say to admit we don't like each other/ourselves, then do we still need positive? Or do we need awareness that the negative, is actually just, is? It just is. 

In the end, every place every collective has different needs, holds different frequencies and stages of development, every individual needs different things. One needs support and positivity and encouragement, other needs awareness of the shadow and the negative, and how it doesn't have the effect we assign it., Third needs laughter, forth needs material support and basic needs satisfied.... 

I do like how you rephrased that. George just had a different approach, and i think he himself was in that kind of mood, so...

Edited by Mai-da
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Hi @Adi123, you have no idea how much you help(ed) (me) with this last post, especially with the self exploration, questioning part. Thanks a lot  ... ❣

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35 minutes ago, Adi123 said:

You do need to integrate those shadows through self love & acceptance so those intense emotional triggers don't happen. If you don't, overtime, you will become an adrenalin junkie.

I just want to complement you here, because many people force self love ok, and I can see you seem maybe just to me, attached to the positive focus as a way of healing, totally legit, just that many aren't there yet, to me integration of the shadow is becoming shadow yourself, integrating it, which is beyond self love and acceptance, but it includes both aspects, love AND fear, in the end. Something like that. 

Also, is that how people become adrenaline junkies?! I like those people, because I easily go on the other extreme of expression, very passive, so yeah, balance is key :)) anyway, is that how we become adrenaline junkies? Lots of anxiety turned into adrenaline? This is what I understood :S

P.s. that was/is an awesome excerpt  from the workshop

Great post btw

Edited by Mai-da
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Thank you all for your comments here it really helps me to see myself through the lens of your perspectives. Yes @Mark Joseph Middleton i have a lot of anger lately and i feel it is leading me to a lesson about my self. Something very deep that triggers my neurotic grandmother's scripts within me! Things buried from when i was very young. i know I over reacted and was rude because this kind of self-hate is the very thing i have struggled many years to overcome in myself. Also i think this particular interaction was instructive for me to see what I was hearing from many in Teal's community in simpler language. It reflects issues I've had with trusting women since childhood. It illuminates issues that I'm having with the women I live with currently. @Adi123 is right, but too late, I spent 10 years working as an EMT and rose to EMS director I was already a serious adrenaline junky so it's not hard to understand why I would be attracted to the drama and intensity of anger and haters attacking me. That may be one of Teal's issues too. She attracts the negative feedback to feed the need for conflict born of her early abuse!? You become an adrenaline junky when you develop such an appetite for extreme danger, stress or abuse that without it you don't feel normal or alive. PTSD from being in combat is an extreme form of this.

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1 hour ago, Adi123 said:

First of all, I approach  entering my shadows with love & understanding, because I realize those fragmentations occurred to protect me. The me that feels vulnerable, scared & that's in pain. I have many shadows of my own that still need integration. I grew up with an alcoholic father & needy mother - this kind of thing messes you up for life - but I have always told myself it's not my fault & lived with a sense of self-love and sincerity for myself, because I realized no one else is doing it for me.

Secondly, an adrenalin rush can turn into an addiction. It's a necessary survival instinct that serves us - it has it use. Addiction suppresses emotion which can limit integration. I am a heavy smoker - nobody's perfect.

Thirdly, I've noticed that when I reply in forums & social media - it's almost as if I'm channeling. My life is far from perfect & I don't normally write like this in my own journals. I don't force it - there's a very centered, loving presence that comes forth from within when I write here.

Lastly, can someone please tell me how to tag people in replies?

This will be my last reply here. I need to spend my energy on other things for now. 

Lots of love to you all.

 

I was raised by an alcoholic father and a sort of similar mother too. And i also channel. We are all capable of that, specially on this forum, lots of people do it all the time. Writing and not uttering what you would like to say/share, is a very subtle way of expressing, why we enter the subconscious easily. But we need to unravel some stuff first, be honest with ourselves in writing, and rest... 

To tag, just put @ ,and the name. 

"This will be my last reply here. I need to spend my energy on other things for now. " I was hesitating whether to reply because of this sentence. You don't even need to say this. You spending energy here is not ultra precious and/or valuable. It is of course to a degree very valuable, but noone depends on anyone here, so there's no need to say you are not going to reply. I felt hurt and insulted, so just wanted to share the perspective. It's never over until all sides agree on that, and it doesn't have to be a verbal agreement. It's an exchange of feelings, thoughts. If you respect yourself enough, you would know what i mean. 

Edited by Mai-da
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On 2/12/2018 at 2:02 AM, Pastor George said:

From a behavioral perspective the only way to extinguish an unwanted behavior is to replace it with another, hopefully more positive, behavior. Thoughts?

Hey @Pastor George et al, I'm coming back to the initial question (and since my name was mentioned, say what!).. it actually doesn't help to overthink some things we say and do - but then again the law of attraction is that we will trigger alright according to the other person being an internal match to how we subconsciously (or sometimes consciously) see things ourselves. No other way to explain it; we are who we are because of our own experience filters. We all react to what others say; can't help it we're human... but it then comes down to how much respect we have for what is being kindly put in front of us to learn from; (remembering here that the Universe is giving us what we are asking for); so if it's conflict and self-justification then that's what'll happen; if it's a mutually agreed disagreement then that's what'll happen; if it's mutual trust and inter-dependancy, than that's what will happen...

Remember this is all contacting others to have your opinion heard, respected and then maybe someone else will see some light in what you or others have to say. So Pastor George, yes I learnt from my outbursts; in that it was not my place to interpose my opinion onto someone else; yet there was a sense of care that I felt because someone would blindly treat their body with contempt by what they were eating and simply not realise what they were doing. But in the end, hey, that's theirs to deal with. So I 'cured' that by letting it go.

I do like to be contentious somethings though - and I guess we can all be guilty of putting a slap in the face out there... gotta admit to that.

So you could say that the outcome to any of these posts and forums is to shine light where we can for others. There are some beautiful examples above this reply from Scot, Mark JM, Mai-da and even Pastor George. So I believe that is actually the key thing here, about how two people or more can discuss something and see both perspectives or all perspectives and take something and learn from it - that being because our own experience filters are unique and we should never blindly just accept what someone else says - the trick is to 'know thyself'.

So, with the help of Teal and all the other beautiful people here who take the time and effort to add to forum discussions, I personally thank you all for any contribution you may have. (Back pat yourself).

crystal Rob

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It's Sunday morning and I just finished reading my morning devotional. In a few hours I will be going to church. Friday I was at Celebrate Recovery, a christian 12 step program and it's all started sounding trite and formulaic. There was a time when I needed it but now listening to Teal it's hard to accept it without seeing the self-serving hypocrisy that has been institutionalized within it. I still believe in God though my understanding of God continues to grow and expand to include concepts of Source, Universal Mind  etc. I am still a follower of Christ and serving God by serving others. I strive to stay in the church so as to point out those contradictions  that keep us coming back to being the Pharisees for the next generation's innovations. I explore outside the church so as to understand what is going on in the outside world. I  explore within myself so as to understand who I am and why I feel the way I do. I feel torn, as though i am being unfaithful, but that's only because the institutionalized true believers demand unquestioning obedience. Sorry, that's not me! I have to go through the tough stuff in order to find the peace the lies on the other side.

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