Guest amy f

Neutrality

61 posts in this topic

Guest amy f

I tend to be very neutral, But it makes me feel alone like i do not belong anywhere. Other People identify with people, places, things, And i am over here just not knowing myself or why i exist or what the point of it all is! It is kind of freeing, yet feels also sad. I feel emotions, yet, i feel spaced out and numb. I am uncertain of how i feel. I can not put a name to it. I don't feel like i am someone, nor no-one. I cant tell if this is healthy and if i am expanding my awareness by not attaching to anything and getting mixed up in it all. I cant tell if i feel empty or peaceful. When i have these moments of "peace", this calming feeling, I realize 'i am here, somehow i exist.' But there is nothing else to it. Only self awareness. I don't know how to participate in life or even function the way people expect people to be in this world.  How can a person exist in this kind of being state, when there are so many obligations and pressures from this world? I have been feeling overwhelmed over the years, being on the fence as to if i actually wish to be here or not. I think I might be physically empathic so identifying emotions and my core issues is not easy as i am taking in a lot of information at once. As i did as a kid. (I was often overwhelmed.) Can anyone please help me understand what might be going on with me? 

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I can't say for sure what's going on with you but some of it sounds fairly common and I can relate with person experience on this. First of all would a deep breath feel relieving right now? 

There's nothing wrong with anything really. The flow of well-being is always flowing to you, even if it's maybe kinked a little bit. 

I remember being your age and feeling totally lost about the quote "real world", which can be many things as it turns out. I had a decent paying job but really hated it lol and so I'd pretend to like what I was doing while just wanting to go home. In retrospect I should have loved my job a little more because now I realize that I can. What was once a problem later turned out to be rather beneficial in my life because it acted as a teacher of the Law of Attraction. It has it's upsides and downs! Not gonna lie! But my point is that we can get through things and feel differently about it at a later time.

As for right now what do you want to do?

Do you want to feel better, do you want to dive into the numbing feeling? What's the next logical step for you?

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Guest amy f

 I really do not know what i wish to do! Uncertainty has been my experience for a while now ): I have tried "diving in" but i still feel the same, nothing is revealed. I think i need to ground myself, as i am all over the place as i am sensitive! Is grounding a good idea for someone such as myself? 

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Your speaking my mind almost word for word!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its like nothing is you no matter how good you do it and as soon as it becomes more less fun and more pressure you stop and you just cannot do it again.  Its not that you don't like it its just not in you anymore you detached from it.  

When your in crowded areas you keep looking around or you just look in one direction cause your sensing so much energy its like !!!!!  

When people are around you you instantly know what they feel especially about you.  Not always the thoughts but you just know.

You feel like your in your body but at the same time observing it and everything around it.  

When you walk do you sometimes feel like your not touching the ground making it seem impossible to walk fast cause it feels weird?  Has it always been that way?

When you get around people you get sudden influxes of energy then when they're gone the energy is too.  

If you resonate with the things I just said I know exactly what's going on with you!!!!!!

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@amy faragher you don't know just how long I have been looking for someone who understands what I experience daily.

I've been like this since I was born.  Just neutral I can feel energy and I can sense feelings but their not mine.  People can say all mean stuff with dirty energy and I won't be mad but I'll want to punch them.  just throw their energy back at them.

Sometimes it seems like you become other people then you quickly snap back into you either after they leave or when your aware of what your sensing.

If your around too many other people too long you start to feel tired not like your out of energy but more like you want to escape the energy around you.  Tired of reflecting what you sense but you have no choice so you have to leave.

 

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19 minutes ago, amy faragher said:

 I really do not know what i wish to do! Uncertainty has been my experience for a while now ): I have tried "diving in" but i still feel the same, nothing is revealed. I think i need to ground myself, as i am all over the place as i am sensitive! Is grounding a good idea for someone such as myself? 

Grounding connects you to your core energies and can be beneficial if you tend to lose focus or are emotionally wobbling. Something that might help you this moment is to aim for something relieving. That works because in the spectrum of vibrations that we interpret, they are connected like a color spectrum, and each step up feels like relief. Check out the Emotional Guidance Scale for reference. You can work your way up incrementally by reaching for slightly better thoughts and feelings.

Edited by Adam

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@amy faragher

The worst part is trying to explain it 

You'll try to tell people how you exist and what you experience but there's so many contradictions in it they either don't believe you or don't get it at all

@Teena this is what I was explaining she is like this too

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Guest amy f

YES! Siblings do not understand.. its not their fault, i understand their reasons, but it is tough. 

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Just now, amy faragher said:

YES! Siblings do not understand.. its not their fault, i understand their reasons, but it is tough. 

You hit the mark!!!! They think I have some kind of disorder or illness when I was younger they tried to get me counselors constantly.

My mom doesn't get it nobody but you have I ever met who gets it.

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Guest amy f

I was sent to many counsellors to!! They tried to "fix" me. Even though from their place of understanding it was based on love

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