Adam

Someone to reach out to

9 posts in this topic

I just want to let anyone know that if you're going through a really bad time right now you can PM me and I'll listen. I know that things happen and I can't even be surprised anymore.

PM me with whatever you want to say or vent and I might give some advice but sometimes being heard is all we need. I'm just a normal guy who cares and can help.

Peace

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Hey Adam, I have a difficult time trusting myself. I'm scared of a lot of things like talking to people face to face and ordinary responsibilities. I know my fears began in childhood I specifically remember a memory were I decided it was to dangerous to trust myself. When I do processes like healing the emotional body or inner child work I can't  bring myself to complete it. I've even watched teal's video about not being able to trust the universe because I feel like everything is against me. I feel that I will never solve my problem.

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Hello, sunshine. Nice to talk to you again.

I once had a problem with self trust. Can you tell me more about what that's like in your experience?

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Yeah, I will start with a little background information. Okay my family is Christian and so I was expected to be good and I really wanted to be to please God. i went to church the day      Before and they taught me in my Sunday school that we needed to listen to our elders. Now for the memory: my brothers and sisters were in a group and one of them crushed a battery and my older brother told me to lick it. I remember thinking it didn't feel right to lick it but I remembered my Sunday school lesson to be good. When I licked it it send a burning  sense ration through my tongue all the way to my head.  I  started crying and fanned my tongue while I ran inside to tell my mom. She told me I was stupid for listening to my siblings she didn't  understand why I did what I did.  That was the day  I learned never to trust myself.  I decided that day to  let others decide/ takecare of me because I couldnt. IM  really scared of being  bad  so I'm  scared of making mistakes. I'm scared of not being good enough  like regardless of my good intent for licking the battery I was punished. This memory also created some of my self worth issues. I am reserved when talking  to people because I'm insecure. 

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I think I understand your situation a little better, like where self doubt came from and some of the symptoms, like self worth, being reserved with people, needing others take care of you. It's great that you have found the earliest memory and identified it as a cause for some things. I remember being scared, too, when I had a lot of self doubt.

So, one Issue now is that you can't complete a process, you can't find relief at the end.

Sometimes even anger is relief. If you feel powerless, anger is actually a step up towards the higher emotions. Feeling angry at the end of a process might be a step in the right direction. You can always go back when you're ready and feel a little bit better and find slightly better feeling thoughts from there.

Is there anything else you'd like to tell me? Feel free to say anything at all.

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Yes, It makes sense to be angry but I don't feel angry maybe if I express all of my powerlessness I can progress to anger. So I'd like to share some more memories that felt powerless that affected me deeply if that okay with you?

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Hey @Adam. I got a thing to share. It is a sense of a split within me. Somewhere when I feel in to my head area I feel very insignificant but when I go to my heart area I can feel a sense of huge worth and knowing that is powerful. But that head thing is powerful as well. Both my parents had a very similar thing. And so yea I feel unsure about how to approach it healthily. To get the heart and the mind to be on the same wavelength :P 

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4 hours ago, Sunshine997 said:

Yes, It makes sense to be angry but I don't feel angry maybe if I express all of my powerlessness I can progress to anger. So I'd like to share some more memories that felt powerless that affected me deeply if that okay with you?

That's okay with me, sunshine997. You can send me a PM if you want or share here. 

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4 hours ago, Jerry Tyfting said:

Hey @Adam. I got a thing to share. It is a sense of a split within me. Somewhere when I feel in to my head area I feel very insignificant but when I go to my heart area I can feel a sense of huge worth and knowing that is powerful. But that head thing is powerful as well. Both my parents had a very similar thing. And so yea I feel unsure about how to approach it healthily. To get the heart and the mind to be on the same wavelength :P 

Hey Jerry. One way to connect the two would be to pay attention to that heart feeling often, like what you did when you felt that huge sense of self worth. Keep on doing that, feeling the heart vibrations and that connection is there. 

The more you connect to your heart this way the more it will just be part of your mind and minute by minute experience.

Edited by Adam
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