Garnet

Getting in touch with anger//hate

23 posts in this topic

Interesting quote, not what i was expecting, I was looking for a much more personal take on getting in touch with anger. I had an opportunity to get in touch with my anger on Christmas eve when my adult step-daughter and I had a shouting match. Things were said that were both hurtful and revealing. She went away feeling bad and I felt relieved. For me it was the culmination of suppressed anger on both our parts and a big relief that feelings had been honestly expressed that had been bottled up since she moved in with us in November. For her I think it was a loss of control and therefor scary, leaving her with feelings of expected retribution. Christmas was a little strained but generally uneventful. I recently attended a Native American spiritual ritual including drumming and stomp dancing. It was with a different group who practice a "red road" as opposed to the white road rituals that i had participated in previously. I think that and Teal have helped me see my own anger as appropriate and acceptable, useful as a guide to inner issues and a tool to overcome societal barriers I carry to honesty and open expression of feelings. Now my step-daughter and I need to talk more about the things that were said. Stay tuned...

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Idk if I'm tapping into my anger side well enough. But in my mind I intended to be only my angry side and I had the image of red filling up my body. Suddenly I felt like I was swimming in blood. Then just the opposite of me was the angry aspect of me. So instead of me being the angry side of me I was looking at this pissed off version of me. First thing she did was beat me up. At first I wanted to run, but then I thought. Go ahead and beat me up. If it'll make you feel better. So I got beat up and started to sink to the bottom of the pool of blood. I just decided to stay there. At my surprise my angry side saves me and says"I'm pissed off at you, doesn't mean I don't love you". I told her I was ready to listen to her. The image of her destroying the house from the inside out was clear. She felt trapped. 

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2 hours ago, Yessi said:

Idk if I'm tapping into my anger side well enough. But in my mind I intended to be only my angry side and I had the image of red filling up my body. Suddenly I felt like I was swimming in blood. Then just the opposite of me was the angry aspect of me. So instead of me being the angry side of me I was looking at this pissed off version of me. First thing she did was beat me up. At first I wanted to run, but then I thought. Go ahead and beat me up. If it'll make you feel better. So I got beat up and started to sink to the bottom of the pool of blood. I just decided to stay there. At my surprise my angry side saves me and says"I'm pissed off at you, doesn't mean I don't love you". I told her I was ready to listen to her. The image of her destroying the house from the inside out was clear. She felt trapped. 

Yessi, that's a beautiful image and a great description of the two sides of anger! It sounds to me as if you are well on your way to integrating all this into a healthy self aware of all your parts and accepting them. A healthy executive function, observer, higher self, can allow the anger to express itself even with others but keep boundaries intact to avoid doing unnecessary damage. I particularly resonated with the "image of her destroying the house from the inside out was clear. She felt trapped. " That's how I've been feeling having my step-daughter living here but not getting along very well with her. Be Blessed. Have a great 2018!

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I'm glad you resonated with something I felt. Right after I posted this I had the image of my angry me going into my body. It's no wonder I had issues being my angry self. She was so disowned she wasn't even a part of me at the time. Today I let my reintegrated angry self be the one to sing the songs I had trouble singing before and the song came out sounding a lot better!! I still hear some resistance in my voice when I'm my angry side but I can now let my anger be expressed in a healthy way. Happy New Year! 

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I just thought of this. Remember how Teal said that often times people make you feel the way they feel. So next time you have an argument with your step daughter be aware of how you feel after she says something. Gaining understanding of someone I find it hard to be angry with them. Try to figure out how the fight starts as well. Who said what first. Why might that be important to them? 

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whoever wants to touch and process her or his anger needs to MOVE it physically in my experience. That could mean expressing it through art but a lot of times, swearing/boxing/kicking and screaming are the route for healing ! 

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8 hours ago, Tomass Lacis said:

whoever wants to touch and process her or his anger needs to MOVE it physically in my experience. That could mean expressing it through art but a lot of times, swearing/boxing/kicking and screaming are the route for healing ! 

I chose to sing because singing has been a part of me for a long time. And it releases a lot emotion being held by the angry aspect of myself. Last time I had my anger sing I cried and there was so much relief! But yes I do agree doing something physical can help. My husband likes to dance. That's his form of release. ?

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19 hours ago, Garnet said:

Wow @Yessi that was intense! Thank you for sharing 

@Garnet it was my pleasure. Writing out the experience helped me reintegrate with my anger. And I love feeling connected to others that resonate with that experience. Thank you for starting this topic. When I saw this I clicked so fast. Lol 

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9 hours ago, Tomass Lacis said:

whoever wants to touch and process her or his anger needs to MOVE it physically in my experience. That could mean expressing it through art but a lot of times, swearing/boxing/kicking and screaming are the route for healing ! 

Yes, hands has always been heavily involved with anger)))

 

1 hour ago, Yessi said:

. When I saw this I clicked so fast. Lol 

That was very funny. Thanks!

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I have always been fascinated by hand drawings. The human hand has fluidity through which it is possible to see the whole person's life.

I still need more practice with mine but for now I would like to share this sketch of a hand that was placed inside a glass full of liquid nitrogen. 

20180105_003454.jpg

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   Garnet, enjoyed this picture just little till read about liquid nitrogen... which  is a -195℃ ! Asking my self, why someone would like to fit his hand in to that, or why someone would like to see by drawing someone's hand in this pain? Is there a deeper suppressed pain behind? Or it's just a sketch from Adams House gallery.

 

 

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@vincent

It started as an urge to draw smth. I had another picture in mind but couldn't find it. The book on the floor caught my attention. I opened it and saw this hand. So, as you can see it was very subconscious choice. 

But since you asked I decided to go back to see who's hand was it and read more about it. The author of the book "Mad Science" and the experiment Theodore Gray says: "a layer of bubbles protects the flesh  from liquid nitrogen, though only for a split second".

That didn't stop him from trying this experiment at least a few more times to get a good photograph!

"My skin didn't get hurt for the same reason that water droplets dance on a hot skillet".

His photo art is astonishing. Have his book "The Elements " at home and  been looking at some of his other books in the past without realizing it was the same person untill now.

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