resistant to love fully

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resistant to love fully

i realised im scared to love, mainly because I feel nobody will love my back with the same love,

i dont care about rejection because i understand its not personal.

but i feel when I love, my love is very precious and very healing and powerful in a good way, because im a healer.

but i feel like I love people who i feel im not getting the love back that i crave and desire, the presence, the unconditional love, the intention to help me heal, to be respected, seen, and supported.

So it hurts to love others fully how Im capable of and really want to, especially when im being taken for granted, Im not being recognized for how powerfully and beautifully healing my love is... because then it seems they are blossoming and blooming, and succeeding, but im remaining stuck, forgotten and not cared about... and in return im being treated poorly, lied to, disrespected, walked over, criticized etc...

which causes more trauma for me, and im dying, while everyone around me is becoming happier, healthier etc but im getting hurt because nobody cares about me..

so its better to just keep my gifts and abilities to myself and not love anyone, because ill end up feeling bad and jealous because they are being loved and im not... 

so I started not to love people too much,

because i felt taken advantage of, and abandoned. I put up boundaries, and probably walls etc..

is this the correct way of handleing the situation?


I guess I could just love and be grateful for my gifts, recognize other people may not be able to love me the same and not take their behavior personally, and see it as still needing healing...

i want to be loved too though, in a healing way...

or maybe im doing something wrong? maybe im not loving the right way?


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A couple of things that I think will help:

- what a person can be, they must be.  For you, from what you have said, you must love.  You need to love fully, completely, truly madly, deeply.  If you don’t do this then you will always feel like you have cut a part of yourself off.

- I don’t know what your “love language” is but I think you need to figure that out.  It will be easier if you manage to find a partner who has the same love language as you.  But if you fall in love with someone who has a different love language, you might need to understand that you partner does not love you “less”, but they do love you “differently”.  Find the Love Languages book or information online.  Teal has referenced the Love Languages in a video.

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Love is very powerful. 

To love is like recognizing  your own healing power.

To feel being loved is like recognizing  the healing power of the other. 

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3 hours ago, Angeldust said:

maybe im doing something wrong? maybe im not loving the right way?


They are mirroring your shadow aspects. No one is just light. You portraying yourself this way makes you just romantic, but if you feel jealousy? Haha no, that's not love. It means you decide to project what you just want to project. But we are mirroring your shadow aspects. I am a healer too, and I know what you're saying, but I never put myself above their ability to love. If you're a healer, heal your broken aspects first, and as a healer, we are often broken, but you feel the healing clearing you and you somehow face the presence again. If we do... But your love is not healing if they mirror back what you said. You are in the process, as we all are, a true healer sees the love in all people, the passion, the lifepath, the choices.. at least to me. We are not just light, and they are mirroring your shadow aspects. And check codependency issues, from Teal for example, with Ross Rosenberg too. But try not self pitying yourself, but understand your standpoint, and try working on it. I do however think you just trying to project what you just want to see. If you decide to be loving, no matter what, do it consciously at least, and see where it takes you. 

I hope you get use of this

Edited by Mai-da

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