MarinaD

How to know if I am in a toxic/abusive relationship?

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Hi Everyone,

Today I am wandering how can we find if we are in a toxic or abusive relationships, where should we set our boundaries and how to know if we should leave the relationship.. I looked around in the WWW for some answers but I am getting more confused, so here I am :)

I personally find it very difficult, I am going to give you a personal example - My partner and I have very strong connection and I really love him, I never felt this with anyone else. But sometimes he is very rude and disrespectful towards me, which I don`t find ok because I believe that my closest person should respect me more. I try to understand him but I am wandering if I am just justifying his behavior because I love him or this is just another tool for both of us to grow in some way.  
I am sure that many people are in the same position as me. How can we solve this puzzle? Does anyone have some experience already with this type of situation? 

Love,
Marina

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Hi Marina... hru? Everything is for growing, weather pain or pleasure, everything makes you grow, or learn. 

Emotions tell you weather it is right for you or not, emotions should lead you. If you find it painful, tell him first maybe, since you are close. Or react however you feel like at the moment. Intense, or strong connections (maybe there's difference) always involve pain from my experience, since we are still learning. If you love him, you think he loves you back, it's not toxic, there are just some unresolved issues maybe, individually and together. 

...

Edited by Mai-da

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Hi Mai-da,

Thanks for your comment first of all!

Yes, I know everything is for growing and it involves pain but exactly here is the difficult moment to decide where to set the boundaries. Don`t you think?
The idea of growing together and the love kept us together for so long but now I am starting to think this might not be the right path for both of us. I just saw the video from Teal about boundaries, it`s very interesting. 

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Yeah, it is a bit complicated, i agree. :S

Yeah, check Teal, it might guide you a bit. It's interesting this insight you have now, for both of you... It might do mean you need some sort of changes. Your emotions will tell you about your boundaries, how i see and practice it. Emotions set the boundaries for you and then you just have to honour them. Thoughts can also tell you where you both stand, as you already give them credit. This maybe helps a bit more...  Good luck, keep up 

Edited by Mai-da

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