Helenawake

Confused about relationship

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Confused about relationship

I need some help bringing some alignment into my life. Because being out of alignment is causing me alot of pain.

One part of me thinks i need to break up with my boyfriend because he has not individuated from his twin brother and i feel alone in my relationship with this reality and know this will never change. The other part does not want to break up with him, is hoping for him to change and cant stop thinking about all the good things we have together.

 I feel confused and at war with myself because i dont know what to do. I feel really depressed about it.

Can anyone please share some light or advice?

 

Thanks so much

 

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You say you're out of alignment.  Usually not being ourselves is what causes the most pain in life. Can you acknowledge where you're stifling your own energy?  Where you may be holding back from how you feel or want to do? In these moments try to move through that false wall and do this anyways.

I understand where you're coming from with doubt.  Doubt also is a form of fear.  Which you can say is 'false evidence appearing real'.

Whats the underlying fear?  There's something beneath the surface doubts that you're experiencing.

Why do you have a such a desire for him to 'individuate' from his twin sibling?  What are you afraid the outcome will be if this doesn't happen?  

Also you say you know this won't change.  That sounds more like a rigid belief than a full truth.  Can you challenge the belief? And be open to it changing or not and accepting both perspectives?

We should be able to unconditionally love somebody from where they're at.  Meaning the way someone is shouldn't affect our happiness.  If its literally keeps us from being free beings and living our purpose, we should question and maybe think about changing paths.  But if you feel you can be your full authentic self with this person and live the life you want regardless of his actions. Then this has potential. Maybe its a perspective change about him that needs to occur.  Maybe you need to try seeing his perspective from a compassionate sense to understand where he is at, without looking it from how you see it.  Without fear attached to it.

 

I hope everything works out. I'm free to message more if you need help. Always welcome to contact me:)

Much love,

Lex

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