Jacquee

Acknowledging Where I Am

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Acknowledging Where I Am

My whole life I've always had the "problem" of wanting so much for myself and doing little to no shit about it. Seeing my dreams as something far too intimidating to dip my toes in. I'm sure this problem isn't exclusive to me. These desires constantly drive me to retreat back into myself every time I get the inspiration to move forward. When I was younger I would constantly reevaluate these desires, and dismiss them as something I'm choosing only to get love/connection/attention. I understand now there's nothing wrong with that, and everything we do to some degree is for the sake of receiving love/connection/attention. We just need to be conscious of it. I am aware there are steps that I can take to make a better relationship with my own resistance/ego. I just thought that it would be helpful for me to see how others embrace their most "unrealistic" desires, and move forward with them. I don't have anyone to talk to about this stuff. No one "spiritually inclined" in my area. A lot of people around me are just choosing to settle. I have done shadow work, I just made this post to connect with people.

Edited by Jacquee
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hey Jacquee, thanks for sharing. Sounds like you have one leg on the brake and the other on the gas! I can relate to that feeling of desire and inhibition. You are definitely on the right track though, as you are accepting the motivation behind the desire. For some reason I feel like sharing about social anxiety. I feel like I am able to connect with people really well, but sometimes I get into a state where I don't feel safe around others and I would completely close off and hide in every possible way, like, never drawing attention to myself or speaking my truth etc. I feel like I want the connection so bad, and at the same time it sometimes can feel unachievable..  So yeah, this one could be categorized as an 'unrealistic' goal.. I'm not choosing to settle in making my life comfortable around it, ignoring the issue. Whenever I have the anxiety state coming up, I observe it, let myself choose to support myself (that's been a hard one really, as the mind automatically goes into shaming) and take action, as in choose an action that would make me feel a bit safer. It's all about how I feel, everything around me is reflecting how I feel.. So when I feel safe, for example, I perceive safety around me. In terms of taking action when the momentum  comes, I think this can be practiced by doing small things. If the goal is perceived as this massive thing, it will feel harder to reach out to.. so breaking it down to small units that are easy and light can make it easier to take the steps towards it. 

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It's so refreshing to see that other people experience this, in their own way. The best thing to do, for me, has been, and still is, to keep the desires and dreams alive. I can relate very well to what you say

This society is kinda set up to make it really hard for people like us who have big dreams, constantly getting told to settle and be grateful for what you have, to not be idealistic and all that bs. Yes, it's very important to be fully grounded, but it is just as important to not let anything take your hope of something really beautiful away from you. For me the thing that gives me the strength i need to keep going is not allowing any belief or external energy or force or wave etc to touch my hopes and dreams, my desire for fulfillment and connection

So my advice is to move forward with all that you desire most and go for it with the purest intentions and calm actions, because no matter how discouraging and dark things get, you can't be stopped. Make jokes about these things you experience so intensely and deeply, never let it get too serious.. that is what i learned

Good luck to you and keep on imagining ; )

Edited by MTerra
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I think my goal is to be open.  To have heart that is open and filled with loving-kindness.  Some people might not get it.  They might have their own blockages, or might not realize what it feels like to be open in this way.

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There are no unrealistic desires. Everything you imagine for yourself, everything you want, is yours. What hurts is the attachment we add to the desires. If you move without expectations, just the will to do, be, learn, grow, miracles will happen. Even these wills/intentions I mentioned can be/feel heavy, just moving is enough, without expectations, especially in position like yours. And if you somehow don't move, the desire wasn't even yours. 

Edited by Mai-da
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Scot, have you ever experienced by being open and honest, noticed that other people thinking you still under some mask and still something hiding?

 Majda,  what you say just now it suites to me completely, thank you.

A single thought or believe feels lightweight as feather, but powerful to hold your life

 

Edited by vincent
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On 11/11/2017 at 11:36 AM, vincent said:

 

A single thought or believe feels lightweight as feather, but powerful to hold your life

 

Amazing! THANK YOU !

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On 11/11/2017 at 11:36 AM, vincent said:

Scot, have you ever experienced by being open and honest, noticed that other people thinking you still under some mask and still something hiding?

Hi @vincent Interesting question.  Maybe this answer will get to the point of your question. If it misses the point please ask your question again.  

I think my answer is “no, I believe when I have been open, people find me all the way open”.   Of course that could be my mistaken perception. 

I remember my wife and I watching an episode of “Married at first sight”.  In the episode, one of the husbands was saying “everyone is asking me to be more open. I am being open.  I don’t know how more open I can be.”  

In that instant, I thought “yes, he is currently being open however there is a whole other level that he hasn’t discovered”.    I am not completely sure that I even know what I mean.  But my suspicion is that it is letting go of the ego-identity and speaking from the spirit.

Edited by Scot

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3 hours ago, Mark Joseph Middleton said:

That is indicative of you wanting something and then being smacked or shouted at or shamed etc when you were a kid and or young person. For example. Maybe you wanted that toy in the store and rather than your parent/teacher explain what you needed to do to get it, someone either explained why you couldn't have it (best case scenario) or simply told you to shut up and dragged you out crying by the arm. Both of those things lead to different emotions, but the same outcome, you not going for what you wanted. Obviously one time isn't enough to break most kid's spirits, but usually it isn't just one time right, it's a pattern. A pattern you have now inherited. 

Otherwise you'd just get up and go get what you want, someone would have showed you how that feels, not just the mechanics. You'd know the feeling of having it, not just the dim depression that many of us feel when we think of what that feeling will be like, and then pull back into a comfort zone. I can tell you the mechanics right now of how to get something, a hundred others can, but until you associate the emotions behind receiving being great or good, and more importantly experience them first hand, then it'll not help.
 

 

I love this answer, so true

I would like to know what would you say on the mechanics of how to get something, as you put it, and unfortunately i didn't understand the last sentence, why wouldn't it not help to associate the emotions with being great or good? 

I know it's not my topic, but, yeah.. 

thanks, 

Edited by Mai-da

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Scot, in my mind was outside home, when you in different place like country or different culture, and you one stranger between ,,normal" local people and they trying to fit your image in they own recognised database 

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