Matei

Breaking down

5 posts in this topic

I am so so sorry that this is happening to you. 

You are allowed to cry, allowed to just be on the floor. My "soulmate" had a baby with someone else too...I've grown apart with/left my friends. 

Life can be fucking hell sometimes, and I want you to know it's okay to HATE it. Scream at the top of your lungs. Stay home. Listen to sad music. 

Let yourself crumble.

I know you don't want advice, but I just thought it would be helpful to tell you how I've embraced my relationship with "rock bottom", because I don't know if bad things are ever going to stop happening. The way I've done that has been through having less than perfect role models. Meaning, I look at celebrities, movie/book characters who have had shitty lives, and have done shitty things themselves. I've seen them own up to it, resist it, crumble, grow, and thrive. And of course, I know we're only seeing the surface of some of these people so, maybe even when they're "thriving" they are having hard time as well. I see their stories as beautiful. I see these people as beautiful, interesting, intriguing, people who have been through shit. They allow themselves to be what everyone else is trying to hide. I'm not trying to romanticize abuse, in terms of the flawed celebrities/characters that are out there, I'm just acknowledging that from a soul perspective we've all done terrible things.

One of my inspirations is Prince, the singer/musician. Although he him self, did not necessarily deal with his past/pain in the most loving way, he made art out of his pain, he wore his flaws like jewels and battle scars. He was known to be someone who embraced his femininity/soft side and his own weirdness/quirks, he embraced many sides of him self that people were too afraid to face. He made the movie/album Purple Rain, that's some of the saddest shit I've ever heard/seen when you think about how it reflects his life/past. However, I believe till this day it is his best work. Out of all of his music, this was the album where he embraced going through hell the most, he embraced his ego, his selfishness, and his mistakes/flaws. Again, he may not have been the most spiritually "evolved" person but compared to most people he seemed to embrace a lot of the things we were taught to hate. Maybe that's why so many people idolized him, because they wished they allowed themselves to feel their own pain the way he did.

Hey, you might not even give a fuck about Prince. I hope nothing I told you was counterintuitive, I really don't want you to think that you have to be anything, or do anything right now. I just thought it would help you to know that you're not alone. So, many of us are going through hell right now, and I want you to know that I'm with you. 

I'm glad there are people like you in this world who don't pretend to be strong.

You are welcome to express whatever you need to express here. I hope one day we can create a society/world where we can let these emotions take their course without receiving any backlash for it.

 

 

 

 

Edited by Jacquee
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Hello MTerra,

I remember you from the old tribe.

Just want to let you know that I read your post. 

I don't know what to say . You are not looking for an advice . 

So the most I can do is to stay on this page and let you know of my presence . 

Garnet

 

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@MTerra I feel you need company. Where do u stay and do u have a local forum there? You dont want advice but I cant control myself. Very earnestly, i advise you to talk to her to know the reasons of her actions and enlighten yourself and close the trauma. Just send a message to her that you want to talk and end it with an intention to move on and understand the reasons. Be ready for the next relation. She is really your soul mate but we have many. Some of them teaches us the hard way and we must learn the lessons. Also, if u dont know and dont want to see her then please check the dynamics of ur relationships on secretlanguage.com

Much love

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