Ast

too dark too deep?

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too dark too deep?

I finally realized tonight my body has been shutting down on me because I refuse to sit with my dark emotions. I have been going through health issues lately. I decided that tonight was the night to just sit with the fact that sometimes I have an intense disliking, or possibly hatred, for myself. I dove into the fact that most thoughts I have pertaining to myself are negative. When I did this shadow work, it felt like a bottomless black pit where my solar plexus and heart should be.  It felt awful and like there was no light at the end of the tunnel, I thought I was there for only 5 minutes but it was 20. I don't want to go back in but I know I should.

Does anyone else feel this way or has this happened to anyone? I don't want to manifest dark things into my life because of this. It just felt like a pool of black.

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You won't manifest dark things, as long as you integrate it. 20 minutes is great! Wow 

Maybe question to ask there, what would happen if I am this? If I hate myself? If i have so much hatred? What's the worst that could happen, in my view, from here and now? What would happen if this is me ? You know, to see why you fear it 

Hug

Edited by Mai-da
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On 10/29/2017 at 11:47 PM, Mai-da said:

You won't manifest dark things, as long as you integrate it. 20 minutes is great! Wow 

Maybe question to ask there, what would happen if I am this? If I hate myself? If i have so much hatred? What's the worst that could happen, in my view, from here and now? What would happen if this is me ? You know, to see why you fear it 

Hug

wow thank you so much. im definitely going to integrate that into my thoughts. i am a bit better of a state now, i appreciate your words.

hugs back

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i have felt this way before. it is very scary and surreal. but  i remember teal said that re-traumatizing yourself is the only way out of PTSD, and i found it helpful. i think manifestation is a trick thing. i think you really only manifest "unwanted" things when you are trying to avoid them. if you go head first into the dark, then the dark is already there if that makes sense. i think ultimately you will do everything in perfect timing. push yourself when you feel the need. relax when you feel the need. ask for help when you feel the need. you- though it may not seem like it- got this.

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On 10/29/2017 at 11:35 PM, Ast said:

Does anyone else feel this way or has this happened to anyone? I don't want to manifest dark things into my life because of this. It just felt like a pool of black.

I think it depends on what you truely believe into and how you feel about it.

I am at the point where in some situations I go to my son to ask an advice ,  lol And as soon as I bring up: " According to LoA...." "THAT'S A LIE!!!" answers my questions very quickly .

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