lilithNephilim

God is my abuser

Recommended Posts

God is my abuser

I don't know what to do. I feel like im the only person who is going thru this. if not please say something. I'm desperate, God is bullying me I went thru a really intense awakening process now God is literally emotional attacking me for example. I had sleep with this really sleazy guy that hurt my feelings real bad. And I'll see his name everywhere or when I'm thinking about suicide, he will do this all the time but here is one an example I was playing a video game and at the exact moment thought about ending my life the enemy player tells me go kill myself. Or when I'm crying scrolling thru face book to get my mind off of things. I'll see pics about being a crybaby and it's not that bad, that i should shut up. I don't know what to do, I feel trapped in hell idk what I did to deserve all this. Like how can I live in this world, where what exists in all of us is my abuser I thought this universe was based on following your joy. I really don't want to kill myself but I feel like this is my only option.
 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am not saying I can imagine what you're going through,

but I also feel sometimes God is cruel, specially in the sense that (s)he provide just enough so that I won't kill myself, giving me some hope and expectations only to dash them...

I'd like to encourage you to talk to someone, hopefully an able therapist, who can acknowledge and validate what you're going through.

 

I was just watching Teal's video about the dangerous parallel reality and I think it will help you.

 

Edited by Aurora11

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i feel like this is quite interesting because it leaves room for interpretations.

 

God is not trying to bully you. But I can see where you are coming from. But its a misunderstanding

 

If anything, God is trying to mirror you back an aspect of yourself so that you can see it and  heal and release it.

Life is a  mirror and will reflect your current vibration. When things like this happen its called synchronicity.

It means your state is being reflected back to you and you are being asked to love yourself, and heal.

 

You are interpreting this in a destructive way and assume God/Life has evil intentions(because of how other people treated you). I admit, if you dont understand God and how this universe works it can be scary and the choice to think like you do is very easy to make. Its like being in a jungle without a map and no compass, the closest assumption you could make is that you are lost and nothing will get you out. But theres always help. 

Talk to god, ask him to help you understand whats going on and what you are supposed to do, ask to be guided. 

Love to you

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. I have often wondered about if the ultimate reality (God) just brought me here to see me be in pain and to abuse me. I understand mentally that this is a projection of the constant abuse I experienced as a child, but I haven’t quite worked it out yet in my shadow work... sometimes I feel afraid to go deep with this particular issue, so I’ve been procrastinating. 

Anyways, I just wanted you to know that you are not alone, you are not the only person who worries about this. My heart is with you and I see you, deeply and truly. 

Edited by Luxclara

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.