Jiří

Sexuality - Masculinity - Allignment

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I've been quite honest with me and my sexuality, exploring, asking, trying. I feel 100% male. Mean not gay, bi, trans, cross..., which would make it maybe easier.  But my sexual desires are more of a feminine side. I desire to feel beautifull, adored, express my style, feelings, being in power and a b**ch sometimes. In a reality I match those desires only through some  fetish. But being with a woman representig this fetish doesn't help, because I actually want those attributes for myself. Neither putting on some sexy leggings does, because it surely doesn't make me adorable. It's like being a lesbian in a male body or rather 'IT' than he or she. How can I allign with my masculinity if my sexual desires are that way off? Does anybody have some similar experience?

Edited by Jiří
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I really like this subject, it is definitely related to the child-parent relationship in childhood. If I were you, I would try to reveal how is that my mother treated me in childhood, it might turn out you've been spoiled for example, or too pampered, which is also crippling to some degree. It might mean for example that your mother was manipulative. I am just imagining scenarios from what you wrote us here. It might be also true :)) Also, you can't skip steps, if i were you, I wouldn't look for ways to become what I want, rather clear first the traces of how I've been made. Meaning, be honest to yourself, in the end, you might decide to be who you are, without any resistance. And if you make a conscious decision to be so, healing starts. And in the end, if you embrace the way you are, you will attract the perfect match. 

Best, 

You're German?! It explains a lot. Sorry, not meaning to be racist/judgmental, but, yeah. :))

Hugs, pardon me, i love Germans
*

Edited by Mai-da

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@Jiří this is a very good question !!! 

The perception of beauty varies from person to person ,  culture to culture etc. And i think a lot of what women have today was actually copied from men and then tailored accordingly to what suit them better! Men habe always painted/tattoo their bodies and dress in eccentric outfits! 

SmartSelectImage_2017-10-13-18-58-34.png

SmartSelectImage_2017-10-13-18-59-07.png

SmartSelectImage_2017-10-13-18-59-35.png

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14 hours ago, Mai-da said:

I really like this subject, it is definitely related to the child-parent relationship in childhood. If I were you, I would try to reveal how is that my mother treated me in childhood, it might turn out you've been spoiled for example, or too pampered, which is also crippling to some degree. It might mean for example that your mother was manipulative. I am just imagining scenarios from what you wrote us here. It might be also true :)) Also, you can't skip steps, if i were you, I wouldn't look for ways to become what I want, rather clear first the traces of how I've been made. Meaning, be honest to yourself, in the end, you might decide to be who you are, without any resistance. And if you make a conscious decision to be so, healing starts. And in the end, if you embrace the way you are, you will attract the perfect match. 

Best, 

You're German?! It explains a lot. Sorry, not meaning to be racist/judgmental, but, yeah. :))

Hugs, pardon me, i love Germans
*

Hi Mai-da. Thank you for your response. Actually, I'm not German, just living there. But I completely understand your point ;) It's not that I feel lost and it probably originated in my childhood. I can relate to my 'male role' in the society, just all the desires go to my other side. It doesn't feell balanced at all.

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9 hours ago, Garnet said:

@Jiří this is a very good question !!! 

The perception of beauty varies from person to person ,  culture to culture etc. And i think a lot of what women have today was actually copied from men and then tailored accordingly to what suit them better! Men habe always painted/tattoo their bodies and dress in eccentric outfits! 

SmartSelectImage_2017-10-13-18-58-34.png

SmartSelectImage_2017-10-13-18-59-07.png

SmartSelectImage_2017-10-13-18-59-35.png

Hi Garnet,

knowing historic dance I can see it in our culture too. But it stays just as inner feeling by me. It's strange.

 

scalzi.jpg

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41 minutes ago, Jiří said:

Hi Mai-da. Thank you for your response. Actually, I'm not German, just living there. But I completely understand your point ;) It's not that I feel lost and it probably originated in my childhood. I can relate to my 'male role' in the society, just all the desires go to my other side. It doesn't feell balanced at all.

Yeah, sorry I will write again, it might be useful to you. I see your "male role"in society perfectly fitting is just your ability to act good, to identify with the role completely and feel comfortable in that role, meaning also you have found your place in society more or less, how i see it. In bed, another you opens up, comes on surface. More genuine, more real. It's a sort of possession. I think it definitely stems from childhood. You should check Multiple personalities askTeal video and Shadow work :) 

Sorry :):P

so, you're a dominant? :)) or just a drag queen? :P

jk,

best, 

Edited by Mai-da

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2 hours ago, Mai-da said:

Yeah, sorry I will write again, it might be useful to you. I see your "male role"in society perfectly fitting is just your ability to act good, to identify with the role completely and feel comfortable in that role, meaning also you have found your place in society more or less, how i see it. In bed, another you opens up, comes on surface. More genuine, more real. It's a sort of possession. I think it definitely stems from childhood. You should check Multiple personalities askTeal video and Shadow work :) 

Sorry :):P

so, you're a dominant? :)) or just a drag queen? :P

jk,

best, 

Drag queen definitely not. Id adds nothing to the satisfaction, in contrary. The fetish just represents an emotional need.  I'll check the video, thanks ;)

Edited by Jiří
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