David B

Anger/ Hidden aspects of self – Confused – LOA

3 posts in this topic

Anger/ Hidden aspects of self – Confused – LOA

So, I’m perplexed.  I’m trying to take responsibility and grow…. Life keeps giving you the same lesson until you learn what you’re supposed to learn, right?

So very recently, it seems like, I’ve attracting, or rather, It’s a reflection of inner aspects of myself (that I don’t know what to do with!) where people are reacting in a very weird and irrational way, almost to the verge of Violence.

The first instance was in a coffee shop when a made a comment to random guy, kinda eavesdropping on their conversation where I shared my perspective that, conflict wasn’t necessarily what we think it is… it’s a flavor of harmony… kinda like where two people are dancing and but they are stepping on each others’ toes... … well he went off the rails, and 3 minutes later, as he was pacing behind me, he was wishing demons upon me and that I should be very afraid.

The second instance… I manage some rental properties in the hood… yadda yadda yadda,,, a tenants lights got turned off,,, So I volunteered to help, and paid the past due amount on the electric bill to get them turned back on (subsequently, the guy responsible for paying, he and I paid it at the same time).  Anyway, he thinks that he shouldn’t have to pay me back, because I went behind his back to pay it.  Everytime he and I “talk” it’s just him ranting at me.  And threated me that there would be trouble if I came over to his house.   Ps… and he called me a “real nigger” as if I’m all gangster and know the rules of the street code… and that if I came over to his house to talk… it would be I’m coming over with my friends Smith and Wesson… Needless to say, I don’t own guns.

 

Anyway,  I don’t know what I’m suppose to learn… am I suppose to be standing up, being more assertive, for myself?  Or what?  

I don’t know what I don’t know.

And, if as a miscellaneous item... the Las Vegas Shooting...  I'm not "personally" effected... so from my perspective, I believed the first victim was the shooter himself...  So I offered him compassion and forgiveness.

 

Thank you for your comments.

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People that you attract, behaviors that you attract, are your mirror, something you should reown.

Also, I find you trying to be more helpful, or generous, than you truly are. Am I correct? 

If you help people behind their back, it actually means you are underrating them and their competence to manage the thing themselves.  

Edited by Mai-da

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1 hour ago, Mai-da said:

People that you attract, behaviors that you attract, are your mirror, something you should reown.

Also, I find you trying to be more helpful, or generous, than you truly are. Am I correct? 

If you help people behind their back, it actually means you are underrating them and their competence to manage the thing themselves.  

It's not like I intentionally went behind his back...  I didn't know what was going on, my tenants lights had been turned off because the guy forgot to pay the bill... So it was nearing the end of the day, so instead of getting in touch with the guy, I went straight to, let's make sure my tenant has lights on for the evening.  ....  I think I underrated his content of character. 

You are right that I am having to learn some boundary issues,,, because I feel so grateful because I'm so blessed to have great parents, and have had a descent up bringing...   ... so yeah, my goal for 2018, is cut down on helping people.  People aren't my problem.   I need to be more a cold hearted republican. 

Thank you for the reply.

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