strangebotwin

Authenticity & Rejection

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Authenticity & Rejection

I really want to be myself and to be authentic around people.
But so far in my life, whenever I have tried to do that, I've just gotten experiences where people tell me to be quiet, and then they hate me until I decide to hide myself again.
I feel alone, like this is just me and like this doesn't happen to anyone else. I just really want to know if this happens to anyone else.

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You know what's beautiful about expressing yourself fully? is it's you soul expressing though this body so any criticism is the collective consciousness, most people are tapped into that, anyone on soul level will love your authentic self no matter how dark or weird it is, it gets the shit relationships out of the way, since we are all one the needles In the haystack would be the souls expressing in their bodies. I am one aspect of everyone, so if I express this one aspect fully people either love this aspect of themselves or hate it, either way it has nothing to do with me, I'm just in my projection everyone exists within me and I exist within them, so we are one but the collective consciousness as a whole is not on soul awareness, so who cares what they think, you want to be loved by souls not egos. anyone rejecting you is them rejecting themselves and when you don't care about their rejection its because you don't care about someone with a low consciousness judging you, it means nothing, its just subjective, people connected to their souls will love all of you, because they are you, they understand that. The evolving never ends though so triggers are normal, but its just growth your soul evolving from this perceptive.

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yeah , i know it... Most didnt even tell me to be quiet, just turned their faces shaming the act, or not understanding shit of what i was saying/doing. 

i dont want to be authentic anymore. And you know what, you probably havent been. I say this because if you have found yourself in an environment where you have been authentic but rejected, you havent been in the right environment. So it means, you still have lot to explore :) about yourself and the world

but somehow everything i say here is shit to you cause, i feel you, and its authentic what you say, and its pretty quiet, so.. i dont know. Whats yours will come your way, one day, one time :******

dont be afraid to be quiet, you can be quiet till the right people come, you will know, feel, the ones that will listen to you, with all their hearts and soul

hugs

 

damn @Alex7 if i can like your post billion times, i would :)

i feel like fucking crying when reading it 

muah muah

Edited by M-eow
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2 hours ago, strangebotwin said:

Authenticity & Rejection

I really want to be myself and to be authentic around people.
But so far in my life, whenever I have tried to do that, I've just gotten experiences where people tell me to be quiet, and then they hate me until I decide to hide myself again.
I feel alone, like this is just me and like this doesn't happen to anyone else. I just really want to know if this happens to anyone else.

Hey @strangebotwin the funny thing is, we think it's the other people that are the problem when in fact all they are, are mirrors of how you actually feel inside. That simply means that deep down you have suppressed the part of you that is Judgemental and hateful. Horrible to think that is true; but you are not likely to know this, except for the fact is has manifested outside and toward you. What is coming into your presence is the deep-down unconscious judgement (I'd say of yourself) and the deep-down unconscious hatred (dislike and lack of self-love) that yoiu feel for yourself. The external reflection of that is these people as they are a vibrational match to You.

Get it?

So CP work for you my dear, CP work... Teal actually talks about this in one YouTube where she's talking about a woman who goes around smiling and easy with herself but people continually say to her "Why are you so resentful?" She goes, "What, me!? I love everyone and certainly have no resentment." But deep down she had a trauma in her life that has caused this to be deeply buried.

The fact you have admitted above in your question to us, that you feel alone - plus that you say you are "trying" to be authentic, simply means you have resistance to being authentic - maybe lack of self-worth, I'd say..?

So, you are triggered and react. If you did not have resistance to being authentic and did love yourself enough, then the comments and criticisms directed at you would have no effect.

Emotional reaction here indicates that what is said, you deep down believe.

I hope this helps shed light on the complications of all this. Please do not feel criticised here - you simply asked and Mirror has spoken. It just is at the moment but you have the power to change all that. Do CP and read and practice Teal's Shadows before Dawn techniques; go and speak your truth and when what people say doesn't matter anymore, you will know that part will not affect you anymore like it has to date.

Fair thee well on your journey.

Light
crystal Rob

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hi Strangebotwin, i got these pages just behind me, I didn't understand at first Teal says > You Have to Give Up. Stop expecting of anybody any validations and  judgements, Separate your Inner from Outside, you have to understand that You at first are the Infinite Soul which has connection with Source, and the Body is the only the Lens for projecting your Soul out to the World, other people is the same Lenses, and you're focused on the values of these  Lenses (they always got distortions) instead on your  Soul value, you know your value is True, and the job you have to do only to your Body To Amplifier That, don't think what they Going to Think, focus on What You Have To Expose. Think back in time when and what happened to make this Lens shrink, get back to your Soul values, don't waist your energy in palaces is not in your positives vibration. Cheer Up!    

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@strangebotwin   You are certanly not alone. And even tough you might feel like it. Its good to remind yourself that there is abundance of people everywhere.

And even if your reallity feel separate from theirs , you can always reach out for people that will , at least understand what you are going trough.

I felt like that for a long time , and still do some times. So i guess you are not alone after all *we feelings*.  

Self compassion ( that does not have anything to do with selfpitty) is the way to go for you.  Stop carring so much  if people see you as

authenctic/outgoing or even as "yourself" and  you'll naturally stop spendding so much mental energy on what you don't want. Hence , freeing up that energy to explorer new and inprove

 ways to express yourself in the range of emotions available to you when on the presence of others.      

 

Hope that helped....Let's us know how to are doing. Your are welcome here baby!

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I don't disagree with what @Crystal Rob says but it's also true that in trying to be authentic you confront others in their complacency and failure to even try to be authentic. This can engender a very negative reaction including anger, rejection, shaming, shunning and denial. If we were able to be purely and unselfconsciously authentic we wouldn't care. Their reaction is theirs. We can be honest about how it feels but to judge ourselves by others reactions to us puts them in charge of our lives. All we really have any control over is ourselves and how we respond to what happens to us. Yes, this happens to all of us. It is a step along the path. Don't give up. You can't climb a mountain without overcoming the bumps along the way. The pain you feel is a signpost to the things you need to work on. The greater the pain the bigger the hurdle, the greater reward when overcome. hang in there, enjoy the ride!

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7 hours ago, Pastor George said:

We can be honest about how it feels but to judge ourselves by others reactions to us puts them in charge of our lives

I never thought about it this way. Amazing, eye opening ?

You can elaborate more on it if you feel like it, here or pm. thanks ?

 

.. i just thought, we are however interdependent, no....

Edited by Mai-da
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I first ran into this concept in anger management training. If someone else can make you angry then they control your life. especially in a controlled environment like jail or residential treatment centers. Then I began to realize there were corollaries everywhere. Twelve steps talks a lot about how we are not able to control our lives that our addictions have left us totally unable to control our own lives. we end up "turning our will and our lives over to god as we understand him." We can be slaves to our egos, our appetites, our shame, our past, even our spiritual path can become a way to hide from who we truly are.

In treatment we often talk about stages of change. First comes compliance. We comply with the rules, authority, to avoid negative consequences, punishment. after a while we may begin to see that there really is a better way and we begin to accept the rules, the steps, the authority, the program as a better way to live , but we are still dependent on outside forces, outside authority to control our lives and our behavior. Acceptance is the second step. It isn't enough we must eventually move beyond simple acceptance to understanding of our limitations and come to the third stage of surrender. Surrender to a higher power, to a guru, to a God or some other life long system of healing growth and healthy relationship with each other and the universe. Principals of love, honesty, integrity, authenticity; Gifts of peace, joy , family and community: Power over self, growth, peace, healthy relationships, intuitive perception that seems to overcome earthly limitations and power that carries us into the right place at the right time so our needs and wishes are met in amazing and transcendent ways.

Hope this helps. Be blessed, be a blessing!

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Funnily enough, my upbringing was one of inclusion, family and helping within the community from my mother who could, and almost the reverse from my father who physically couldn't from war veteran health reasons and a personal integrity and a choice to stay private. So I had this juxtaposition that I learnt from my parents from which I chose at times to be authentic and tell it like it is and at other times could choose to keep a quietness and to myself. I enjoyed the quietness more I guess thinking back now. One was not always related to the other: authenticity and rejection thereof. So with my freedom I could choose either of those two or any mix in-between. I didn't take people's reactions to heart either way. I guess I was lucky. 

These days, I choose integration and community. Earlier on in my second marriage, there were times this has felt like I was dragged kicking and screaming into the thick of it and other times I had total freedom of choice; my wife you see likes interaction and helping and family (so do the grown-up kids). So over the years there is this choice I have made sometimes for, sometimes against and all that entails and ensues. I still learn and I still am sometimes surprised as I am human - but rejection? ^.^ My choice not anyone else's.

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15 hours ago, Mai-da said:

its  the purpose anyway, the intended journey, is that what you mean? 

Yes. I can only speak from my experience where when looking back it's obvious to me that rejection pushed me into a better direction. Of course,  i don't know all what if's and like anyone else i wish some things were different or not as hard maybe... i am basing my opinion on my overal satisfaction with life and I am grateful for that. 

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