Lilia

about "incomplete" shadow-work sessions

8 posts in this topic

Hi,

i've been doing the healing-the-emotional-body process a lot lately, and experienced, that in multiple different "processings" i came across the same traumatic memory when i asked "when was the first time", but always from a different emotion that i was feeling. so my questions are: is that because i somehow didnt allow the full experience at once, or is it because every emotion that is mixed up in that event wants to be addressed separately? or is it sometimes possible that re-experiencing and feeling it is just too much to take at once for the system - including the inner child even if she wants to be seen - and so it is resurfacing one step and one aspect of it at a time?

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Those may be some interesting theories but Teal did mention the answer to this in one of her recent workshops. If you are continuously being drawn back to a memory you already integrated, it's because there are multiple fractures of that aspect of yourself still stuck in that memory. She mentioned that the completion process which will be coming out as her latest book this August will explain in detail. For now, what she recommends is you ask if you could see any other fractured aspects of yourself in that specific memory. You will see many of them having different behaviors and in different parts of the room/environment. I could be wrong but I think Teal mentioned she once had over 40 different fractured aspects of herself in just one memory.

  • Upvote 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, InvertedSeal said:

Those may be some interesting theories but Teal did mention the answer to this in one of her recent workshops. If you are continuously being drawn back to a memory you already integrated, it's because there are multiple fractures of that aspect of yourself still stuck in that memory. She mentioned that the completion process which will be coming out as her latest book this August will explain in detail. For now, what she recommends is you ask if you could see any other fractured aspects of yourself in that specific memory. You will see many of them having different behaviors and in different parts of the room/environment. I could be wrong but I think Teal mentioned she once had over 40 different fractured aspects of herself in just one memory.

thanks for the answer :) <3 that is helpful!  i havent been to a workshop yet but i have pre-ordered the book, so ill await that!

yes i have already asked in the processing for other fractured aspects to come out, (i think i remember Teal saying that in the how-to-heal-the-emotional-body video too) and there came some each time and ive seen them merge with the 3year old child-me, but there keep coming up triggers in my life that lead me to the same memory. maybe there are just so many more to be reintegrated, i guess ill just take it and follow the feeling process. i also felt the last time, that i couldnt access the feeling in my lower body and i asked the child-me, and she said she wasnt ready to share that yet. i told her i wouldnt force her, just show me whenever shes ready. so i guess what i wanted to know i answered myself :)

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It sounds like you are on the right track. I'm glad you respect your inner child's boundary to not share a certain thing until she is ready. I bet you have been doing this for a while now.

 

Just an interesting thing I have noticed is after I integrate the memory, I ask if there are any other fractured aspects. I will see other children of the same age as the one in my memory, but they are literally a shadow. As in all pitch black like a silhouette. Sometimes their behavior creeps me out, but later it makes sense. One time I had in one memory a child sitting on the couch watching the tv, another hiding in the pantry, and the last one (which I thought was creepy at first) just standing in front of the trauma without any reaction at all, just staring at it with very minimal movements. When I asked why he was just standing there, he said it was him disassociating. That made sense, and suddenly I was able to actually see him, not just a shadow.

  • Upvote 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I also heard Teal talking about multiple fractures per memory she said to imagine covering all the different branches in a bubble so they can be adressed all at once. 

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a similar issues at times. The repetitive process in of it self of coming back to reintegrate is good enough. Sometimes it can be too much doing all at once depending on the memory.
And so multiple sessions can be required to fully complete a certain emotion or trauma. Especially for those who was born and raised by traumatized beings. Its ok for things to take longer to complete because we were rarely given the space to be in the first place. 

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh forgot to ask but while in the topic of shadow work. I did an emotional integration session yesterday and I found relief in it. To my knowledge when you have managed to find relief you have succeeded.

Some time after the session however I felt fear and panic in my heart space. This have happened before...hmm I wonder if that panic is the core feeling I'm avoiding but during the session I cleared enough for it to rise afterwards. Honestly though I don't know but I hate it if I have been practicing something that would traumatize me even more :(

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Jerry Tyfting said:

Oh forgot to ask but while in the topic of shadow work. I did an emotional integration session yesterday and I found relief in it. To my knowledge when you have managed to find relief you have succeeded.

Some time after the session however I felt fear and panic in my heart space. This have happened before...hmm I wonder if that panic is the core feeling I'm avoiding but during the session I cleared enough for it to rise afterwards. Honestly though I don't know but I hate it if I have been practicing something that would traumatize me even more :(

i too have experienced that sometimes, i cant find a way to find relief because i seem to panic about the fact of what i just saw that had happened to me, i get so outraged that i cant focus on the inner child anymore and i as the "adult" self start blaming circumstances and the people who did that... honestly i would also like to know if i am making things worse and how to "deal" with that.

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now