Garnet

Conditional VS Unconditional Love

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Conditional VS Unconditional Love

It scares me sometimes to think that Love on Earth well could be artificial .  That it is a "workable " feeling that can occur and last with the right amount ingredients as long as partners continue adding/subtracting /multiplying /dividing etc and the Love Pot keep being stirred up.

There is something with they way we communicate and live together that makes me question about unconditional love which to me obviously falls into the conditions created by us.

My best understanding of unconditional love is through animals. I don't expect my cats to do anything other than to use their litter box and scratching post -> these are the conditions that make living together possible. Because if they didn't do that as a responsible renter it would be very hard to find a home for us to live in. Unless I buy one. 

My cats are also indoor and unlike humans they don't contribute anything into the household in material sense. Occasional bird maybe. or bug... It is pure presence and grace of their beeing that makes my hands go after them.

This does not seem to apply to humans. Especially once we reach a certain age.

For ex., if one sits on a sofa and watches TV 24/7 eventually the other one is going to flip out on him. And as a result it brings a condition  to which being together is being possible or not.

There are countless examples like that.

What I am trying to say here.... is that

Loving someone doesn't always mean you can physically be together unless you resolve the conditions upon which loving each other is possible . 

They say Love starts within . So Love is also self-love. Self-love is a life long journey that is conditioned upon circumstances one is in.

I came to the conclusion that to feel unconditional Love one must constantly feel being pulled towards closing the gap between his/her physical self and the soul => Death (as far as I know unless there is another way of doing so)

So from my understanding we are not here to experience pure unconditional Love ( which leads to instant =>Death) but the Love we choose.

This is where it gets funny/scary for me.. is that we often (I know I am) spend so much time... Life... trying to understand love&relationships when our soul has already chosen for us the conditions upon which it could reincarnate itself into the physical world. Or not....

 

 

 

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Hey @Garnet you ain't wrong but methinks delve too deeply. Have you ever met someone that it didn't matter about anything else going on in the room but that one moment or hour that you truly connected with that person? It felt like time and circumstance stood still. No matter that you came with someone else or not that the connection, then and there was all that there was...

What is conditional then is the unconditional focus of one directly to another. 

Meaning: if this ain't present with you then all you can do is simply treat it like a precious moment that can only be a snapshot in a photo albums; nice memory but not an actual life you are now living.

I have a cat. He directs my waking and purrs at the slightest pat or notice. But otherwise he is independent and aloof until needing feeding again. Say "male partner"

I have two puppies that unconditionally greet me with wagging tails each time I come in the room. Yes they are trained for outside and inside, walking to heel and waiting till told to cross the road, but they do so because they unconditionally wish to. The difference is in who is asking. A bad dog owner won't get the same wanting to please or unconditional love that a good owner will; so I say it is up to what you want out of a relationship and what you are willing to put into it that counts.

Bottom line: everything is conditional in this life. The difference being what you are willing to compromise on and what you are not willing to compromise. 

Unconditional love is freedom for both sides to the extent that you are willing to allow any loss or any gain. That is not the human condition but is an Ideal that people are willing to strive for. Not saying it is not achievable, but if you truly love then loss is not loss and gain is no gain, it just is. They say love can never be taken only given. Receive or give - which would you rather? And so, who truly loves?

Light

crystal Rob

Edited by Crystal Rob
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Love for sure is real but we are also experiencing our own individual lives experiencing separation. our soul is love, and when you reach it you understand the concept but still have a human self which still has issues and beliefs attached to the physical body, the ego and soul aren't integrated yet. the ego still protects itself and is selfish in a way, it cares about its survival over other people because its in survival mode. You can see everything in the perspective of source, which is the underline energy existing in everything learning from everyone and every perspective, but we are still here to learn, our soul is here to learn more than show love I guess, some peoples egos are stronger than their soul, and if you are at your soul awareness you understand all life is evolving, there is no end to it and you will naturally evolve on your own or you will be pushed by the universe for your own benefit in the end. We aren't at this oneness mind yet where we recognize each other as source, objectively that is true but we still have a ego with beliefs and programs build into it. We still don't trust each other with our pain and trauma, even though we are all feeling our own individual life fully, every emotion, every insecurity, every projection and belief, this is as separate as it gets but we are all more similar than different, at our core is source, at the core of everything is source, which is love, but just the word alone doesn't do it. Evolving is a natural process of life, and this current version of ourselves isn't permanent, it's not even who you think you are, it's always changing. Old versions of you will feel like past lives lol totally different person evolving like everyone else feeling this life completely all of it and learning through you and everyone. We come from love, we are here to evolve, and hopefully remember who we are, which is love. Still have boundaries of your own because this is your own universe, so love your universe, this is all you anyways, your heart guiding you in life. Authenticity is real unconditional love for you, only you have control of your own universe, which is you, respect your boundaries. Also when cats wake you up at night that is annoying, I love you but fuck you are pissing me off, let me sleep! lol cats don't really respect your boundaries lol.

Edited by Alex7
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On 10/5/2017 at 4:57 AM, Crystal Rob said:

Unconditional love is freedom for both sides to the extent that you are willing to allow any loss or any gain. 

I like this quote as it pertains to my situation I'm currently facing with someone. She is the grandmother of my daughter, and she is a toxic person. She claims to know what real love is, but unfortunately, she does not know. I feel so confined in my relationship with her, which I know now, is not real love, but merely a superficial and trite scene whenever we interact. 

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Find the common ground with this person WhiteDove, find where you intersect on common things you both appreciate and hold that true despite any other interference. Your boundaries will be respected if you hold them up to be seen. A strong woman is looking to another strong woman... And your name White Dove is for a reason. Stay true and hold love in your heart despite all else. Remember that any adversity is only teaching you more about yourself. (Mirror speaking)...

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On 6 October 2017 at 7:39 AM, Alex7 said:

Love for sure is real but we are also experiencing our own individual lives experiencing separation. our soul is love, and when you reach it you understand the concept but still have a human self which still has issues and beliefs attached to the physical body, the ego and soul aren't integrated yet. the ego still protects itself and is selfish in a way, it cares about its survival over other people because its in survival mode. You can see everything in the perspective of source, which is the underline energy existing in everything learning from everyone and every perspective, but we are still here to learn, our soul is here to learn more than show love I guess, ..."

Have just re-read your post Alex - and I have a further commentary...
Yes, I agree with you that we are here to learn more that to 'show love' - I believe that we are here to experience what Joy is.

To me, Love can be very subjective and in the human condition, usually demands something back to foster that love given. But to do something for someone because it brings you joy is something I believe transcends love.
We hear that in true Oneness or Consciousness that the word is not love but more like compassion and understanding. They (other than this physical 3D reality) empathise with us but don't love us. The sign for this is if Source loved us we wouldn't have wars or killing and shit like that. So if we maybe forget about trying to"love" (which I believe is a human failing) and try to Understand and have Compassion, then the human race will advance to Oneness a heck of a lot sooner. 

Light

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11 hours ago, Crystal Rob said:

Understand and have Compassion, then the human race will advance to Oneness a heck of a lot sooner. 

Light

Understand Compas-Passion

Word game))))

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Do small children feel love?

Saying "I love you" does not always mean feeling it. Parents teach to say "I love you too " to their children the same way as any other words like "please" and "thank you" and it is expected to be heard in return. 

From Universal perspective I can see Love being unconditional. It is just there as a source regardless of what's going on. That's why everyone longs for it. But on a small scale it is not like this.

We can feel love. We can feel being loved. The state of love is often accompined with euphoria = falling in love. 

But I think "To love" is a skill. And like any other skill it can only be developed over time; learned when given proper tools, environment etc.

I think we all have an idea or a memory of what Love is from the very beginning. But how often people know what to do with it? It is like giving a child a full size car and asking him to drive it. He might have an idea what to do with it from the past experiences with kid friendly cars, but in all reality you know that for ex., the child's legs aren't long enough to reach gas and break. Not even talking about a high way here and all the speed limits +laws that are designed to keep the flow of a traffic. 

I was trying to remember when was the first time i started experience the feeling of love to my parents. 

I think when a child is born into a family he sees his parents as people who simply suppose to be there. That's how it is. Is that love? The entire survival depends on it.

I remember missing my parents when I was left at my grandparents place for summer. I can see how the contrast plays a role here... But again... I am not sure if that was love or not because i didn't want to stay with my grandparents for 3 month, so i am not sure what I was missing. 

Vegan communities often show pictures of children with animals together as a representation of love for them.

On 10/5/2017 at 7:57 AM, Crystal Rob said:

What is conditional then is the unconditional focus of one directly to another. 

While I did see and experienced that for myself I am not sure if that is love or a very close deep connection. Intimacy. 

Intimacy is a part of love. So if children are capable of feeling unconditional love to an animal then why it is often suddenly gone if an animal scratches or scares them?

I think for the most part people see a child with an animal and just enjoy that picture. It does touches our hearts and it often overflows us with very warm feelings like love, compassion, unity,understanding, closeness,belonging. But then when the picture is gone.... sooner or later the feelings are gone for the most part. Because feelings like experiences have to be carried with us along the way.

What I remember is that my mom was severely jealous over my love to animals. More than anything she couldn't take the way I was taking care of them: food, basic needs, environment and the way I was defending them even after catching some kind of skin disease from a stray cat. Although she was very supportive and understanding in the beginning. Then it got so bad that she was threatening to let my bird out of the window if I didn't do what she wanted me to do. And I know she wanted me to be the same way with her but I guess, it wasn't there in me. I don't know. And the bad part is that even these days after seeing everything I do she still tells me that instead of having so many plants and animals I should consider having another child while completely forgetting why we don't. Like I don't have enough problems on my head already and need to add more.

It is very rare to see a small child really caring for an animal responsibly. Most of the time it is an adult who ends up doing it. We use animals to teach love to children but I am not sure who needs it more. A child will do just as much to protect his favorite toy but that is often overlooked as less important although this is where a child's first skills to love may be developing. A small child can not choose between his parent and a teddy bear. This choice is often forced by parents to feel loved by their child.

 

 

 

 

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