Jascat123

Why do I fear my boyfriend will find someone else only because I am guilty

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Why do I fear my boyfriend will find someone else only because I am guilty

I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now. He is 31 and I am 20. I have been with multiple partners in the past but never one I truly knew loved me unconditionally as he does. Maybe it's age that he knows what he wants. I have absolutely no reason not to trust him because we spend every day basically together, I know his phone code, me simply because he doesn't care about any other woman or has the intentions to besides me. But recently we got into a fight due to his stress in work and life making him sort of neglecting my emotions and needs. So me being impulse and angry when we fought and he started ignoring my calls and feelings, I went and had a one night stand with a mutual friend. I know what I did was wrong. I don't feel like I love him less though. It's been almost a month and I've been able to push it aside. I learned to not feel so guilty because it was a one time thing and I know why I did it due to him neglecting my emotions. But we worked things out and he's better at it now. So why do I fear him finding someone new? Obviously because of what I did. My real question is how do I stop overthinking and fearing it obsessively? Will I ever accept the fact that he would never cheat? 

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Hi, I think you may have somethings underlining you may not even know about yet, that you could use some help discovering so you can heal from them. If you'd like I can help you with that. feel free to email me. everything stays confidential. I will help with what I can, but you may also think about seeing a professional therapist in your area. We all need help from time to time, and I hope you don't mistake my offer as an insult. I seek counseling from time to time. It's like having a tune up done on our minds. So if you're interested, feel free to send me an email. 

Best wishes!

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My real question is how do I stop overthinking and fearing it obsessively?   Will I ever accept the fact that he would never cheat?

....  Personal development and self growth...  When you grow in your faith in yourself that he'd be stupid to find somebody else.   If you just remain average in your own mind you'll have the fear.  So instead of acting on filling your neglected emotional needs in other people, fill that void in creating and pursuing a passion. 

The Catch is, when you become that much more of your awesome self, he's going to have to raise his own bar to maintain.   He'll have to learn to fullfil your needs accordingly (which shouldn't be a problem when your becoming even more desirable than you already are).  

I hope I made sense.   

If anything... if this relationship doesn't work out,  do you think you're destined to loneliness?  iow...  How many days are there in 50 years?  You're 20 years old...  18,250 days.  Anything is Possible.  Infinite Possibilities.  But if you think there is an irrevocable doubt in any relationship... Cut the cord hard, fast, and decisive.  .... and if you think about him and rather string it out... I'd say, come on dude, what were you really expecting?  I think Age is definitely an issue...  I think he's the one with maturity issues, and you're right to think that he might cheat himself.  Never go against your intuition.   It's normally right. 

deposits and withdrawals balance.jpg

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