dw29

Need This to Be a Topic! Help Please!

9 posts in this topic

Need This to Be a Topic! Help Please!

So,

I was talking to my cousin this past week, and we got into a discussion about the cycle of abuse in our family. At some point in the conversation, I said something along the lines of, "what the hell did I do in a past life to deserve all of this." And her response was, "Right? I had to have been Hitler or someone." I mean sometimes you just really have to laugh through the pain.

Well anyways. Basically, I grew up in a situationship with a father who was emotionally and physically abusive. I feel like in the psychological community he would be a narcissist with bipolar disorder.  I know that he also grew up around abuse, and so did his family. I know that. Ok. I even believe somewhere in childhood, I was abused really early on because I distincly remember children of all ages wanted to sexually do things with me. It wasn't until college when I was actually raped that I started to even snap out of the emotional numbness of it all. I was raped by someone who I trusted and wanted to establish a "clean" slate with. But I also knew that he came from a family of abuse and rejection, so. Fast forward, All of this spiritual work and meditation has led me to a place where I now feel like there is little else that I have to research and find out. That place where you get the realization that looking for the answers outside of you doesnt feed that hunger for knowledge anymore. 

So, I feel pretty strongly that I know what the next steps are. I know what I have to do now to really let go of baggage and step into who I am. But now I am in between the biggest rock and hard place! Everything sounds like rape now in some form. I have to be allowing and not force  anything. I have to just accept everything and peace will come. Rape. Or I do force myself to make these changes and be strong, so now I have to rape the body and control it. So it comes down to either let the universe have it's way with me and hope everything comes to pass and works out for the best. Or i fight with my body and ancestral stuff and force the higher selfs agenda, which makes the body submissive to the all? But after total submission and allowing, the body will realize that this was the best way after all? You see where Im going with this?

 

I know there has to be a third way to look at this. Maybe some insight. I am really stuck in all realms of existence. Like I have boxed myself into the last corner and the only way to go is up spiritually.

Thanks in advance!

Dee

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Hi Dee,  as I was reading your post, you reminded me of part of "the hero's journey".  In the story, in order to make progress our hero (or heroine) really has no choice but to just let go.  But you need to trust your higher self and become the strong person who can trust and in no way let yourself be abused.

For example, in "Finding Nemo", Marlon and Dory are inside of the whale.  At this point in the story, things have come to a point where Marlon and Dory simply have to let go of grasping, and trust, and see what happens next.

Trust your higher self.  Don't take abuse from anyone.  In time I hope you will be able to trust.  But take your time.  I hope you will find that some people are trustworthy and let them into your heart ❤️ 

(edited. I hope this is now clear)

good luck

Edited by Scot

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You know what Adam:  I re-read the original post and I think you are right, and I was wrong.  I didn't see where she was going.  A big part of answering is to correctly understand what is being asked and I didn't understand what she was asking.  I misinterpreted the post and as such gave what could be some REALLY BAD advice.

on the other hand, if it's love and both people want it then sex isn't rape.

I see that DW wrote the post on August 25th and has not been back since.  I don't think she will come back but I will edit my original response because it needs clarification.  (I have now edited my earlier response.  I hope it is now clear)

Edited by Scot

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2 hours ago, You'reMyFavorite said:

Joseph, I've noticed something disturbing about you. Wanna know what it is?

The more principled my posts are, the more you hate on me. The more I stand up for what's truly right, the more you want to squash my spirit.

We are dealing with a rape victim who is vulnerable in EVERY sense of the word. She's literally considering letting people rape her so she can heal.... and we have two posters with a background of gaslighting, harassing, and giving awful advice who basically said "intellect wont save you. Let people rape you." And what do you do?? Oh! You attack ME for speaking up about it, and you say I should be banned. HAHAH. WOOOOOW. You're despicable, bro. Truly. And this is why I will never trust you in the slightest. I suggest you stop talking to me. Can you do that? Can you zip your lips? Thanks. I appreciate it.

Hi Adam,  

Joseph didn't attack you.  He said you and Walt  should BOTH be banned.   If you believe that Joseph's post is hating on you but not walt then please read it again.

i assume that when a person gets a warning, or gets banned, he or she receives an email explanation.  My suspicion is all the swearing and cursing is why you were banned before.  Sometimes you come across as such a hateful person.  Some of your jokes come across as hateful.  

I think if you keep the swearing down and aim to understand and to be understood then you won't get banned again.

 

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Hey Adam,

The original poster has not come back to look at her thread.  So I suppose it is fair game to have this conversation here in this thread.  Strictly speaking, having this conversation here is hijacking the thread and that is against the posted rules.

Frankly, I am disappointed with the moderators if they give strikes without explanation of why the strike was given.  But I think if I were banned from several spiritual websites, I would look at my own behaviour.  (That was a hint.  It is my opinion that you should try to look objectively at your own behaviour.  Frankly, I think we all should look objectively at our our behaviour.)

I claim that I am not cut from the same cloth as walt.   I came into this forum to talk people about spirituality and meditation.  And when I got here, it seemed to me that a lot of people on his forum need a little love and support.  There was one poster who I thought needed a little love and support but walt thought he needed to be "shaken" with Walt's version of "real world experience".  It seemed to me that walt was spreading hate and division while I was trying to give support and connection.  (Walt may consider me to be supporting co-dependent behaviour.)

Adam, I think a lot of our (your and my) differences have been caused by misinterpretations of each other's posts.  I definitely believe you have misinterpreted some of my posts and I am willing to admit that I have misinterpreted  some of yours.

Edited by Scot

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Okay Adam, the original poster is not around.  so we cannot ask questions about her situation. However, she says that she is past college age. 

But what if her situation is this:  what if she has a very loving and supporting boyfriend.  And he is patient and kind but, of course, he wants to have sex.  (Usually adult people do that.  That is NORMAL for people past college age.).  But because of her past trauma, she says she "sees rape everywhere".  So she has a lot of fears but she seems to want to push past those fears and have sex.   Sex might be a loving act between them if she can just have the courage to let that happen.  And that is the love, support and physical relationship I hope she can find.  That s what I have been trying to say all along.  I can only hope it is clear.

Edited by Scot

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2 hours ago, Scot said:

Okay Adam, the original poster is not around.  so we cannot ask questions about her situation. However, she says that she is past college age. 

But what if her situation is this:  what if she has a very loving and supporting boyfriend.  And he is patient and kind but, of course, he wants to have sex.  (Usually adult people do that.  That is NORMAL for people past college age.).  But because of her past trauma, she says she "sees rape everywhere".  So she has a lot of fears but she seems to want to push past those fears and have sex.   Sex might be a loving act between them if she can just have the courage to let that happen.  And that is the love, support and physical relationship I hope she can find.  That s what I have been trying to say all along.  I can only hope it is clear.

(Yes... I am quoting my own post)

Ahh... I get it.   I have been clarifying my post(s) in order to try to get approval from Adam.   In my honest opinion, that is what I see that I have just been doing.  I am playing the pawn in Adam's game where he is the king.  Which means that I have been acting like a co-dependent or the empath, and Adam is a narcissist.  Now, of course, Adam will probably think that I am playing the victim, and trying to get him to doubt his own reality.  I guess that makes sense why he might feel that way.   

You know what, Adam?  I can't control your opinion about yourself, and I can't control your opinion about me.  All I can do is try to practice loving-kindness:

may we all be well

may we all be happy

may all of our hearts be open and filled with loving-kindness, both for ourselves and for others

 

By the way, it looks like walt has been banned.  All of his posts are gone.

Edited by Scot
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1 hour ago, You'reMyFavorite said:

You should have seen the shit show he put on in other threads of mine that were deleted by Blake. I posted a thread: "CNN attacks Trump for having Two Scoops of Ice Cream" , and right away Scot accused me of starting a fight with him. That was his first comment on a thread that had nothing to do with him.

 

Hey Adam.  By the rules of this forum, we are not supposed to re-post material from threads that have been deleted but I suppose it is fair to DISCUSS previous threads.  And since you have brought up the subject, I am willing to try to recall roughly what I said in that thread.  Here is what I remember:

I said "someone" is being petty about the 2 scoops of ice cream and by "someone" I meant either Trump or the news.  I remember trying to write a very fair and balanced post where it could be CNN that was being petty for trying to make a story out of nothing, but on the other hand, it could be Trump who was being petty for insisting that he get more ice cream.    Your response was that I needed to characterize CNN as being EVIL.  To meet your approval I had to say that CNN is EVIL!   That is what I remember from the thread about 2 scoops.

But now:  As I understand it, the news story is that Trump insists that he has to have two scoops of ice cream while insisting that everyone else have only one.  Trump finds it necessary to dominate everyone in the room, right done to dictating who gets how much ice cream.   THAT was what the 2 scoops news story was trying to point out.  Now if that is actually true, then a person might decide that Trump is a petty narcissistic asshole.   Or I suppose given that you need the word "evil" to be used, that a person might decide that Trump is an EVIL narcissistic asshole!   

Edited by Scot

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Adam and @Joseph~

I would leave Adam alone too. Problem is when he writes one of his "you can trust me and you should not listen to walt and scot" posts.  Now, I agree that in general nobody should have listened to Walt.   But I am honestly trying to be a nice person.  And in my opinion Joseph has had some bad days but he is also trying to be a good person.

So Adam I will make you a deal.  I will leave you alone if you leave me alone.  And if I see you writing some of your horrible hateful jokes or posts then I will report you.

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