ShaktiP

Relationships take compromise, but how much is too much?

2 posts in this topic

Relationships take compromise, but how much is too much?

I have noticed that my mother, father, and myself all choose mates that are very different from ourselves. Many core values are different. This makes for a lot of tension and compromise in our relationships. For example, my mother is a right wing republican and works hard at a corporate job and my father is a total liberal, and works for charity. They are no longer together. One thinks, how did they ever get together in or first place? 

I now find myself in a relationship where my partner watches tv every day, which is very bothersome. I believe tv creates apathy, lack of intellect, and is used to brainwash the masses...and that one should choose which media they take In Very carefully. My feelings about the subject are obviously strong. There are a host of other differences, regarding spiritual beliefs, financial beliefs and other big topics. We enjoy each other's company and get along well most of the time. But I often find myself wondering if this  relationship is the most for filling one I could be having. We enjoy different things and have fewinterests in common. But we do have a child together, and we do love each other. We go to therapy and do our work (although I'm often leading the charge on that front). How do I know whether I'm settling? How do I know if I'm over compromising within myself?

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I do not have an answer for you.  I actually have the same question.   

You said that you two are going to therapy and are doing your work (I assume couple's therapy).  A while back, I found a resource which suggests you ask yourself 4 questions everyday:

1- have i authentically express my needs?

2- have I given without expectation?

3- have I acknowledged the things that matter?

4- have I been able to receive without guilt?

I say there are no perfects fits.  Even if a relationship  starts out feeling like a perfect fit, eventually differences will start to show.  

 

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