Sunshine997

Emotional Abandonment

4 posts in this topic

Emotional Abandonment

 Lately ive felt emotionally abandoned by my two best friends. I care about them both deeply and in different ways as well but I cant help feeling neglected by them. I have known one of them for about 7 years and she hardly seems to reach out to me. It seems that the only time she does is when i text her and she feels guilty about it and replies to me later on. I feel better when i see her in person and I try to understand that she has a hard time feeling, feelings so i try to not take her disconnection from me personally but i cant help. Most of the time it still hurts.  ?

I cant help but notice some patterns between them. They both forget to check in with me eventhough ive talked to both about how important it is for me. They both make me feel distanced from them and like they could take me or leave me with their actions anyways.  I think the root of this stems from childhood abandoment and emotional neglect. Im interested in hearing others relationships patterns and your thoughts on mine. 

 

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your emotions of being abandoned are valid and I think it would only benefit you to focus on getting in touch with and care for the part of you that feels abandoned. but sometimes we just grow apart and it is natural, do you still have things to talk about, things in common?

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Yeah we do still have things in common, but it seems as soon as I leave or stop seeking them they forget about me entirely. The only time i talk to them is if i reach out to them. 

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Hello there :)

Do you check in with them? Perhaps it's time to start searching somewhere else for people who vibrate more on the same frequency so to speak. Because this is a sign of imbalance and that most certainly leads to problems down the road unless some action is taken to balance it back out again. Getting these needs met from other people might be the best way to do that for now... What do you think?

10 hours ago, Sunshine997 said:

Yeah we do still have things in common, but it seems as soon as I leave or stop seeking them they forget about me entirely. The only time i talk to them is if i reach out to them. 

Remember, there's more to existence than just what the eyes can see or the ears can hear... Just having these physical things in common with people does not guarantee connection, not even in the slightest.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I sense they may not care about you as much as you care about them. I was in a similar situation a while back, and got pretty hurt as a result of it. It was the sort of thing where I wanted to hear from people who were pretty apathetic one way or another (there was a long thread I made called being ignored triggers me, lol, I can laugh now but its really hard to deal with, and quite frankly you don't have to)... It's not a nice thing to realize and I was in denial for a really long time. It's the sort of thing where  you won't ever get that sort of answer from them because nobody wants to think that they don't care about someone. Even if they do care, it's not in the way you need them to, so that's about the same thing as them not being able to care. It doesn't mean either of you are bad or messed up or wrong or needy or whatever label you might be tempted to throw on it. It simply means that you guys likely outgrew each other at some point; we're all on our own paths.

Think about it; do you really want relationships where you're constantly trying to prove your worth, one thing after another? Or would you rather be around people who can already see you as you are and accept you? 

Edited by Tessa Rae
blehhhhhh
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