karinar

Heal sexual abuse

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As a girl, at about 6 years of age, I suffered sexual abuse for several years.
I spent my whole life doing therapy, with a lot of psychologists, I'm still doing therapy. When I started doing therapy, it was a learning problem, nothing related to sexual abuse.

 But psychologists have never told me what they knew about my traumas (it's part of psychology), and it never emerged that my learning problems (and many others) were the cause of my abuse, I counted it as something else in my story.
Just two years ago I made akashicos records, and that's when my guides told me that the cause of my problems was my abuse, that's how I knew it.

Now, my doubt is this, since no psychologist was very helpful, I don't know how to heal the consequences that brought me that abuse, repressed emotions, such as hatred (that's what I realized) shyness, etc. I don't know how to heal those emotions.

And I also find it strange that when I talk about this trauma, I feel nothing, I don't distress, I don't cry, unlike other people who have also been sexually abused, I don't understand why that does not happen to me.

 

Edited by karinar
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The reason you feel nothing, don't cry or distress is thatto protect yourself you have walled off the pain and the trauma in a part of your brain/self that is still a child hurting, angry distressed and sad. That is where your learning disabilities come from. The inner child hides with its pain but it has some of the skills we need to explore, learn new things, take risks, trust, emulate positive role models, grow and flourish. So the inner child sabotages aspects of personal growth that are too scary for it to deal with or too challenging for it to take on. This is what Teal addresses in her shadow work, The Completion Process and throughout her discussions of growth and healing when she opens us up to the pain we are holding onto and shows us how to use the inner pain and coping mechanisms to find the root causes of our dysfunction and integrate it back into a whole healthy person. It can be a long and difficult journey but the rewards are huge. Hope this helps. Be Blessed, be a blessing. It is the journey not the destination. Enjoy the ride.

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On 17 July 2017 at 6:30 AM, karinar said:

As a girl, at about 6 years of age, I suffered sexual abuse for several years.
I spent my whole life doing therapy, with a lot of psychologists, I'm still doing therapy. When I started doing therapy, it was a learning problem, nothing related to sexual abuse....

...And I also find it strange that when I talk about this trauma, I feel nothing, I don't distress, I don't cry, unlike other people who have also been sexually abused, I don't understand why that does not happen to me.

 

Dear @karinar I reply because you only have one person Pastor George, who thought you reaching out was worth replying to. This does not mean people do not want to help - just that maybe they are going through the same thing or do not themselves know what to say to you...
Not that I do either, but I will give you my perspective; because Ups to Pastor George, he is giving you very good advice above.

Karinar, you feel numb and cannot react because it hurts so much - that to release that hurt or to even start it is a painful road that you, inside are desperately wanting to prevent. You have suppressed all this to the point that no association springs to mind, yet your Guides have told you that is indeed so. Your subconscious has the key to all this and you started by asking; so, you shall receive...
Pastor George uses Shadow work and then Teal's Completion Process book as the starting point - I differ slightly here in my advice - start with Teal's first book 'Sculptor in the Sky', then read Teal's second book 'Shadows before Dawn' (sounds like you may have already) and use the self-help techniques in there to get you back in touch with truly loving yourself.
Then read and practise Teal's Completion Process.

Your whole journey starts with being in touch with your emotions - so practise "feeling flavours" as well which is simply a way to get away from your 'story' about why and into feeling itself, for the sake of feeling. This is one step at a time.

You say you feel nothing - wait until you are in touch with your feelings and you are a balling, sobbing mess, wanting to die and feeling like you are being torn apart. If you have read Teal's story you may know by now that the process is (Completion Process book explains), that you will have to re-live every abuse scene in vivid detail.
This is part of the healing though - please view this part as that You are worth saving.
It will feel a bit like going into a burning building to save someone. If you have walked past a burning house and heard the screams you may think twice. But if it was your house, you were the mother and your child was trapped you would go in to recuse her. This is exactly what you need to do for You as that abused girl, crying out for your attention, love and commitment to never abandon yourself ever again. Read the Completion Process and you will know what Pastor George and I are talking about.

Also remember, you are not alone now. Not only people to connect to, but also CP Practitioners that can truly help you and there are many out there that can. Look below to the bottom of this page.  

So, I commend you Karinar, for the strength to not only ask and find out more of yourself, but also the strength you have shown to put yourself out here in Forum to scrutiny. That alone is really difficult and I'll just say that you have far more strength than you may have previously realised; go You!
Your future has started. If you need a helping hand, please feel free to reach out personally to Pastor George - he is a strength and can be objective enough to help any way you need. 

No-one should have to go through what you have Karinar - and yet it is common in our society today to see the same story repeated. CP will finally free you but baby steps, baby steps... do one thing at a time and you will know within yourself - just like Teal did, when it is time to move to the next step. We are here for you.

Much love and respect to you, Karinar.
crystal Rob 

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You have started the steps Karina and they are the beginning so you have already changed from where you once were 

Good luck on the journey and if ever you need someone to be there at the other end just ask. This world will put the right people in front of you if you ask for them. Remember this is a world of Attraction so that what you focus on will be made available to you. People like Teal are so inspirational but just call PM if needed to me Pastor George or others within Teal Tribe particularly CP Practioners - just view several profiles until one resonates with you. I hope to join them next year which is needed in my Southern Hemisphere!!

light and love Crystal Rob

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