Mai-da

Your own poetry and thoughts

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A tunnel never lasts long enough 
where it is dark, narrow
dim
obscure
easy to look at
easy to live
the light is the heavy one
the false 
the illusion
why do i have so much against the illusion
is it too intoxicating 
too unreal
too demanding 
i love the smell of a tunnel 
wrapped by solidity 
no possible intrusion 
no possible attack
super protection
and it's someone else
concrete is protecting your being
the fragility
love
now i can sleep 
and yet

i only manifest hope in the day
the night is too heavy
too truthful for dreams
for lies 
one would say
i create my reality
then i create my truth
but, is that how you fight life? 
is life that much against us that we go against IT? 
hasn't it loved us already to project us here? 
didn't it have faith in us already? 
wasn't that a friendly agreement? 
to expand, to learn, to know 

who is on my side
day
or night,
both
or none

i need a tunnel 
i need my tunnel 
where they ride all night long 
all day long
it doesn't matter
tunnel protects me from the truth of this land 
it has lights attached
wheels turning 
concrete keeps me safe 
light knows i am sleeping
i am sleeping now
i am sleeping
 

 

tunnel.jpg

Edited by Majda
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@Joseph~ omg Joseph, i just read your post, so nice

while you were saying that Your Individual identity is false, i felt tension in my stomach, very often i feel this. It is not false! stop thinking that way, maybe you just want to see if someone will see beneath you, beneath that facade and fight for you. I know it is just a play, do not push it much. Also see the others, we are all the same, we all resist first, and i think that is healthy. 

Anyway, thank you for expressing yourself. 

hug hug

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A Place We can Share

 

I can hold your hand,

but I really want to hear your story

I can touch your body,

but I really want to touch your soul.

Tell me your dreams,

Tell me what thrills you.

Tell me what scares you,

Tell me your deepest desire that you have never dared tell another soul.

And I'll tell you too.

 

I'll tell you my dreams

I'll tell you what thrills me

I'll tell you what scares me

And I'll tell you my deepest desire that I have never dared tell another soul.

I want to be open,  I want to feel free.

There's a place we can share,

come find it with me,

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i love the ride
the long highway, the open road, the fast wheels, the slithering ride, the firm ride, the knowing, the continuation, the doubtless movement, 
some sing
enjoy the ride
how do you enjoy it 
if nothing is moving beside you
if people manifest barricades 
everywhere around them
how do you move if the air can not flow
how do you move if the stop sign is  everywhere 
how do you express if fear is everywhere
how do you focus if there is so much to alter 
so much to cure
yet so little to give..

... but now i ride
now they drive me
they move for me
they move for me 
they move physically 
i ride cognitively 
i ride the road of magic, creation, fascination, 
because truth is in movement
truth is in movement 
movement is healing
and there are many ways to move 
many ways to express
many wishes to grant  
many storms to face 
many skies to greet 
many lands to feel 
many truths to ingest 

... now i ride
now i watch out the window 
and i try to understand
try to see clearer 
but we already know
we already know 

... 
on my way back
once they have provided your meditation
the help to go it through
it's time to move yourself
to give
to engage 
to be
... 
they ride me
but we are many
many ideas, beliefs, engagements, states, out of states, egos, souls, thoughts, many many
in this confined space
though it's moving
not all let it move inside them
not all let it circulate
not all go with the flow
and why would they
this is not us
this is not us :)

so i wait for home
to feel like myself
to feel me
thank you god i have home now
now god is something that gives 
it never takes away
but it gives
once it's there
it can only give

ride is almost over
thank god
i start sweating already 
too much of everything is suffocating 
too much of everything is suffocating
and this is not my ride
it is not my personal ride


 

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 the day by end

   and Sun sets down

     on nameless road

       away from town 

        I'm chasing down

         the way unclear

          with hope 

           to see

            to touch  

             to hear...

IMAG1271.jpg

Edited by vincent
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Blue, transparent, You

Why were they so piercing
why did you have to be so loud
so sure in yourself
so certain 
so full of love
but then
you looked at me
i remembered those eyes
so piercing 
and embarrassed
felt embarrassed to like you
to like them
to need them
how is it that you know yourself?
how is it that you carry that piercing motivation
how is it that you carry that faith
...and i had to smile, so vividly
couldn't stop myself
from feeling your truth
as if i already knew
you are my match
you could make me happy
... my lips shaking 
your strength through me 
your truth through me 
and we encountered
even before
even after
meanwhile
you knew me
you saw me
though your mind was wondering
your heart knew
and my lips...
shaking like crazy alive two pieces of soft skin 
screaming at me
the oneeee!!! 
the one
... of many bitch,
i am not giving you any credit! 
But!
But. 
We smiled. 
in the periphery of our vision
from everywhere that we can see
we encountered
we were one
we were ensemble 
we encountered
and progressed
through the brief meeting of our eyes
of our souls
we encountered
just to smile in our realms of courage
belief
and passion 
knowing. 
blessing. 

But my lips shook like unstoppable loud  messengers 
two alive cows
cows to me because they were sweet, but stubborn
to put me in that position 
of no control
yet,
feeling good
happy
aliveee!
All of me, alive.
For a second. 
Just to leave us at peace
after some short time
to write this poem
about my lips alive
embarrassing me,
speaking to me,
something i am not yet sure what it means. 

Except that,
we were alive. 
for a short amount of time
in this universe
we
were
alive. 


....

ok i will stop now, all i see is my photo on the forum, gone for 3 days ?

best, :D

 

Edited by Majda
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Blazing thoughts riding high. Lost to the nothingness within my mind. Boasting peace but inside I'm shaking, locked between laughter and internally breaking. Ghosting through lives never fully there and lost to the tides for it is only fair. Lost loves again, pasts always unfolding, brings with it a familiar foreboading. For it circles like spirals back in on itself. In hopes that I'll learn it for myself. Wanting to reach out even though i can't see, searching for a blessing out lost in the sea.

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trigger warning: self harm

{im kind of glad this forum exist...because now i really want to share all my writings..most. im like excited hahah.. this one i really just made right here}

here i lay
with deafnining thoughts of unholiness
conflicted by the want to slice open another and myself
i just want to see, i just want see, i'll say to myself
because i know theres so much more than whats on the surface
so let me peer inside and allow the flow to show itself to me
let me see, let me see
because i cant stand looking in the mirror , i move out of my body just see clearly
steady my hand and everything is hushed
slow motioned to give time to realize this is not what i really want 

"dont"

moving in closer, I tear what i cant stand to see in the mirror and i let the guilt flood me
but i am calm and lick my wounds as if i meant to do it to clean myself, to purify, to heal myself
am i really that disgusting i must purify this body through slashes and bandaids? 
 

oh god, ive lost myself again
and i am drowing in the raging fits and tantrums 

"You have never loved me!! You're a liar!! You all are!!.. im all alone here"
and it repeats and it will keep repeating
if i keep believing 

Edited by HollyP
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Dirt trapped under the fingernails, sweat pouring down, so here I find myself in a castle so vast, mirrored wall to wall, tripping on masks, and winding halls, to find the throne that has my name, dust sits like sand dunes, waiting for a whisper to stir up a storm, it seems like a dream that this place once was filled with the most vibrant art and soul touching music, I can just vaguely remember the stunning dancers and singers the jokers and artists frolicking about filling every crook and cranny with the warmth of a thousand fairies. 

 
A mask to match a mirror. 
As I walk, the masks line up behind me waiting for something.. I’m not sure... there’s something I’ve forgotten. Confronted in the mirror, faces of a thousand lies tell me stories I’d forgotten. But I want to run, as I turn to leave I can feel my insides rotting, another mirror, I cannot take this, something says “I know what you are” 
What am I? I ask 
Mirror, I collapse into a thick black sludge, eating me like acid. I don’t know why, but I’m calm, I’ve been here before, I take a breath and dive in. 
I’m in the ocean, some fantasy world, they close in on me like an eclipse these fish, these fish with ten eyes and wings like birds. 
 
Suddenly a thunderous song breaks out, as they open their mouths, the masks fly out and cling to me like leeches, everything goes black. 
 
All a dream, all a dream. 
 
But no. I’m in my bed in my castle. 
A secret flies in from the window and whispers something. 
I get up, everything’s a mess, it would take an army to clean this. 
I pick up a mask, and put it on a shelf, it’s time, it’s time I tell myself.. 
 
 
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