vincent

afraid of projection on me

14 posts in this topic

afraid of projection on me

 Hi All,

for several past years I'm dealing with fear of  projection, because of that I didn't going to some places now, I didn't meeting some people any more, now I'm planning  to go for a holiday and I know there a number of people, I have to meet, with they own opinion I have to match in, and instead to enjoy I'm starting sick anxious already. I have a list of places I'd like to visit but how to avoid projection and boundary injuries? 

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It feels now different, after I've hanged my own shadow on a display,  I'm looking at my own question as someone else and it's easier to see why.  Straight next day opened YouTube and pops list of variable videos with Teals ,, How To Stop Care What Other People Thinking About  You". I know that video and I played soundtrack many times, but now instead to see more details in video I started to see more details in my own life.   A years ago I was told to be humble, so others opinions become dominant and my own become secondary, I suppressed my wishes and needs, even sometimes I'm about to get some tings like go for cycling, fishing or yoga class I was feeling guilty because that was didn't matching the siblings needs, and I was feeling projection on me ,,what they thinking" by meeting my needs I making them feel bad, I should want what they need. All friends siblings coworkers siding opinions about someone little different than they are and that person always facing that card, like if you didn't eat a specific meals (red meat) something is wrong with you and they trying to fix the ,,problem" to share with others and to walk around you and to keep children away. I'm become very sensitive in this spectrum, sometimes I know is coming prefabricated meeting conditions and when stepping between these people feeling slippery glitter under the feet, even the air feels twisted. It's like between super strong magnets I can feel spinning my abdominal organs. It still triggers years later when someone mentioning names,places, or worse to receive a call. It like Teal described ,,stand ahead the train, let train to hit you, an you going to be fine" I can tell how yeacky ,,fine" feels like. So if on your mind something to Say, Say it, if you can't sleep because you don't know Why someone something did? Call and ask Why? Don't project  your guessing, don't drop the hints around, clear shadows with transparency. Now I'm feeling little more confident about my own shadow it becomes smaller.

Best wishes to all

Edited by vincent

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Vincent ! Most people are more concerned about themselves then others ! so most likely you are feeling their own worry about themselves! If you know you are not doing anything wrong and you are not violating anyone's boundaries then let yourself enjoy the company . 

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Thanks for responding, Walt I wish it would be so easy, 

Garnet, this site is a handrail I'm walking with, I'm about to visit some places and I know I have to deal with projection, It's not my cup of tea to step in to someone's comfort zone and to become projection screen. In photography is color and grey cards  references like this one , I wish it would be some kind of card when you meeting people , puling out the card and you understand each other vulnerable boundaries, shadows and needs. 

 

DKK350forwebstore.jpg

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Hey Vincent, hum, if not try to remain focused on what you came there for, like I came here to explore for example, this guy is projecting me his fear of life, whatever it is, but remind yourself why you are there, why you came there at first place, at that exact moment day there then, don't do too much analysis, this is maybe hard cause you want to be there for them maybe, but don't let YOURSELF forget why you came there, what you are doing, what you want to do with the (rest of) day, that moment etc...

or, face the projection, face the feeling, inside the person, inside yourself, does it match? is it you? is it you now? just leave if it isnt

i agree with both statements of Walt and Garnet, and its not easy knowing and following your path ... 

but the first technique helps me sometimes, now... like always remember, remind yourself of your initial reason for doing what you're doing at the given moment, going at that place... i cant go far as purpose now, but staying focused on your life and idea of the day, that moment, will guide you 

i hope you understand me

love ya 💛

Edited by Majda
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On 2017-7-17 at 9:26 PM, Majda said:

Hey Vincent, hum, if not try to remain focused on what you came there for, like I came here to explore for example, this guy is projecting me his fear of life, whatever it is, but remind yourself why you are there, why you came there at first place, at that exact moment day there then, don't do too much analysis, this is maybe hard cause you want to be there for them maybe, but don't let YOURSELF forget why you came there, what you are doing, what you want to do with the (rest of) dand yourself of your initial reason for doing what you're doing at the given moment, going at that place... i cant go far as purpose now, but staying focused on your life and idea of the day, that moment, will guide you 

 Majda, appreciate in details your honest guidance, that's exactly what I've missing to tune in during communication with someone else!  Now I'm second day on my  cycling touring trip, road marking lines diving under handlebars , wheels buzzing in a wind like guitar strings,  country side summer air thick and full of nature sensations, that drives memory up to the surface, I've meet some people already, and noticed as never before, everyone looking for validations, with first time meet people is easy to communicate because is no past stamps between, and it's starts from present moment as blank page, more complicated when you see people when you last time meet them 5-10 years ago, and I just feeling I've to step in my ,,old shoes"  which I didn't wearing any more. Thank you for replays, I got you all with me. Best wishes. 

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Am 16.7.2017 um 10:26 schrieb vincent:

Thanks for responding, Walt I wish it would be so easy, 

Garnet, this site is a handrail I'm walking with, I'm about to visit some places and I know I have to deal with projection, It's not my cup of tea to step in to someone's comfort zone and to become projection screen. In photography is color and grey cards  references like this one , I wish it would be some kind of card when you meeting people , puling out the card and you understand each other vulnerable boundaries, shadows and needs. 

 

DKK350forwebstore.jpg

what about straightly telling them? you have the right to tell them and the way you put this question signalizes that you want someone or thing outside of yourself to take care of it. but what if you can take care of that yourself to draw people into your life who LOVE you? : ) If you are not feeling able to do it, my next question woudl be why?

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2 hours ago, Tomass Lacis said:

what about straightly telling them? you have the right to tell them and the way you put this question signalizes that you want someone or thing outside 

Thanks for respond, that's the thing in a past I was missing to read my own feelings and to respond instantly with my own True during conversation, I was agreeing with everyone's True and I was keeping silent if is didn't matching with my own and that was leading to misunderstandings later.

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Am 1.9.2017 um 18:51 schrieb vincent:

Thanks for respond, that's the thing in a past I was missing to read my own feelings and to respond instantly with my own True during conversation, I was agreeing with everyone's True and I was keeping silent if is didn't matching with my own and that was leading to misunderstandings later.

Vincent, thanks for your honesty. You are brave and yes, almost the whole society is manipulating us into acting that way. I know this my whole life, too. Are you aware of co-dependency?
Just, what it is? If yes, do you think that maybe this behaviour is also a co-dependent pattern? If so, how could we help you? : )

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co-dependency? Honestly I've to made research what that is and forms could attract my life, co-workers, co-siblings. After long analysis I'm coming and coming back to same answer, I'm living between people who thinking they know What I should be doing, How I should be living.

Yes, I can hear someone asking, do I know my self what my life I wanting Should be?

When you in a large woods or canyon and you making a sound the echo repeated same sound and you can recognize as authentic,

what I experienced I didn't received authentic reflection from people, it was feels like they adding clue from they own shadows.

The question pops shall I get back to them and continue to shout them,,no I'm not that kind what you thinking about me" or just to admit to my self that 15 years I was out of my track in a ,,back seat in someone's car" and to get back to the point where split begins.

Edited by vincent

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On 9/4/2017 at 3:01 AM, vincent said:

The question pops shall I get back to them and continue to shout them,,no I'm not that kind what you thinking about me" or just to admit to my self that 15 years I was out of my track in a ,,back seat in someone's car" and to get back to the point where split begins.

I don't think you literally need to go back . Your problems are doing that for you already. If you didn't recognize the split the first time than maybe you can do that next time since everything repeats itself over time.

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23 hours ago, Garnet said:

I don't think you literally need to go back .

 Thanks Garnet, unfortunately I've made it hard way, I come to the places and compared the pictures my Past and my Now, what I was missing that time, how I would behave with today's experience

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I'm digging around my soil for several months now, and what I found  burns my skin out of the bones.

I said earlier I'm afraid of projection, but I found I'm afraid of Attraction, and more the root stays still the same I'm Afraid, so Why I'm afraid? Of not approving who I'm, then who I'm? did they know who I'm? (people manipulates me) Yes they know, but not Me, because the true was right  on my f*king nose, and I couldn't see it! 

I got very good visualization and I'm capable to see project Done in very first meeting, just letting feelings to flow through my heart and the image appears in my head.  I was using it for a years for my bespoke carpentry and refurbishing projects and I never thought this is any benefit. Recently I'm studying  all types of personalities (I hate people labeling sorting/boxing)  in many videos I recognized my self in HSP and empathetic. That's explains my broken relationships and why I'm feeling so emotionally exhausted, because my sensory was overloaded I made non rational decisions. It's like several  days I'm scanning my past through this Prism and couldn't believe,  is this could be my Core, what I was hiding from outside as disability have to be flipped by me and started to tread as ability?

Appreciate for any respond. Thank you

 vincent

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I think you've been overloaded too, and you are empathic. You really need to start believing in you and examine all your beliefs, because I think you know what you want and need. They project it's a disability, I still hide myself, and will probably long because I' was damaged, that doesn't mean you need to reveal yourself to ppl who do not care for you, or to remain hurt. 

The point with attraction is very interesting. I found something about myself regarding this, I would just say the opposite emotion of attraction is disgust, if that is you core emotion let's say, you will have to become, reown it, and hence approve attraction, and become attractive too. I don't mean just physically. 

Its normal to be afraid of projection, people do only that, they are poorly self aware and have no clue so we deflect. I know these terms and I don't know in what exactly they differ - projection, transference and deflection of emotions, beliefs, standpoints. Attraction is part of us all, some just need to actualize it more in this life, others have other blueprint. How I see it

Love ya

*

Edited by Mai-da
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