AngelRose147

This is very hard to deal with

6 posts in this topic

This is very hard to deal with

Hello everyone, 

  I am being confronted by a very intense shadow of mine.  Every time I am put in an environment with alcohol, or when a loved one drinks too much or spends a lot of money on alcohol, I start to go through intense, full-body panic attacks.  I'm talking about the kind of panic attacks that make me shake and want to throw up.  I am placing this under love and relationships,  because my loved one loves to drink a lot of let loose and my idea of going out and having fun is more  a  long to lines of having deep conversations over tea, or taking nature walks. I get panic ridden when it comes to socializing in massive semi-big groups of people, or restaurants with bars. That isn't to say that my relationship isn't beautiful.  It is , but I do need to face this shadow if I want to grow forth from this place I seem to be stuck in.  This is hindering me in a way that I cannot live with anymore, and I have to rise above this.  

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boy I feel ya on this one. I have a hard time being around drinkers. Long history of alcoholics in my family, (grandfathers on both sides and father too!) Functional all of them but big drinkers non-the-less.

First thing to do is to validate this feeling. Obviously there is a strong reaction in you for a GOOD reason! Do you have any conscious memories of bad experiences around people drinking?

I will just tell you how it triggers me and maybe it will help you...

I have many reasons for disliking alcohol.  It lowers your vibration, it makes you more open to entities, attack etc.)

BUT My big issue is the disconnection, that's my big thing. Most all people who drink are numbing and escaping there emotions.

The are trying to escape reality and the pain they are in.  That to me is the painful torturous part. The part I cant stand.  The LOSS of connection with the person I love drinks. They check out. They go to a different reality than me. They are in essence escaping from me on an emotional level.  I find it very painful as a Cancer, HSP, empathic person born on a full moon!

Our biggest need as humans is connection. Authentic connection. To be seen heard felt and understood. You can't do this with'someone who is escaping with substances.

I hope you can find a compromise with your loved ones. But it may be time to put some healthy boundaries on the relationship. Like "it really feels bad when you drink around me".. or ask them to please not drink around you because it makes you uncomfortable and triggers you. You deserve that.

Best Wishes!

A

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1 hour ago, AngelRose147 said:

This is hindering me in a way that I cannot live with anymore, and I have to rise above this.

I would like to add that the "I have to" is a very resistant statement... how can you soften towards yourself and this situation... it feels very harsh towards yourself to say you have to or must overcome it. Because the truth is you don't! There are so many like you who would rather drink tea, take walks in the park and have a fun day without drinking! If you never got over your panic about alcohol you would still be an amazing person to be with! Remember that. 

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I used to have a similar reaction to alcofools.  The way I overcame it was to become part of them - for a while.  In a similar manner to dealing with a negative emotion I immersed myself in what I considered to be a negative part of society.  And connected with it.  

The problem was not with them but with me, they were doing what they needed to do and I looked down upon them, finding their behaviour unconscious and somewhat alien and therefore a threat.  After a while it became apparent that the aspects of behaviour they were portaying were aspects of my consciousness that I was suppressing.  Hence the triggering that was happening.  The trigger was a not so subtle message saying something along the lines of "pay attention to these fools, they have something to teach you".  And they did.  They taught me to be more spontaneous and less self conscious, among other things.

I still look down upon them but now I don't feel anxious about sinking to their level any more.  I merely find it an annoyance, 

However, I really think that if a connection is to be made it needs to come from the higher vibe level, after all if they were capable of it they probably would already be here.

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The only thing to be done about fear is going fully into this feeling in order to transform it.

Seen on an empathic level you have to aknowledge that it is their way of coping with their life like all addictions almost everyone has some kind of addiction the only ones who are free are those who are enlightened or very close to taking the step towards it.
Now you can start comparing your addictions or others addictions with the drinking addiction and come to the conclusion that it is worse then yours, but this is just your perspective every addiction is perfect for the persons circumstances. If the circumstances change the addiction will change. You can see what the real problem here is. it is not the addiction itself.

I am in no way an expert on panic attacks but im sure it is just fear boosted by your thinking.

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11 hours ago, Grok Reincarnated said:

I used to have a similar reaction to alcofools.  The way I overcame it was to become part of them - for a while.  In a similar manner to dealing with a negative emotion I immersed myself in what I considered to be a negative part of society.  And connected with it.  

The problem was not with them but with me, they were doing what they needed to do and I looked down upon them, finding their behaviour unconscious and somewhat alien and therefore a threat.  After a while it became apparent that the aspects of behaviour they were portaying were aspects of my consciousness that I was suppressing.  Hence the triggering that was happening.  The trigger was a not so subtle message saying something along the lines of "pay attention to these fools, they have something to teach you".  And they did.  They taught me to be more spontaneous and less self conscious, among other things.

I still look down upon them but now I don't feel anxious about sinking to their level any more.  I merely find it an annoyance, 

However, I really think that if a connection is to be made it needs to come from the higher vibe level, after all if they were capable of it they probably would already be here.

I really like what you're saying. 

Do you ever feel the need or urge to help Them? to heal them or something

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