Sandy2017

Lost in a Loop

5 posts in this topic

Lost in a Loop

I'm a 36 year old woman, married for 7+ years with a man i love and respect and adore and vice versa, except our sex life has always sucked and now been non-existent for the past year n a half. I've done my best staying loyal but since a couple years ago, been reaching out to an ex, and this other guy i barely know. Both unavailable, and treat me way worse than my husband does. No sexual relationship or even chances of it since they live continents apart. And yet I'm just.. in this loop where they break my heart and then somehow we get in touch again and my heart gets broken again. I've never felt so lost even when I was battling my husband's addiction and relapses and other issues (for 5 years after we got married). I just want this to stop. I did have negligence issues with my father as a child. Noone in my family ever expressed love which i always craved, although i knew my mom loves me. Anyways i just want to live a life where I'm happy & fulfilled in my romantic relationship. Also fulfilled professionally (stuck in a job i have no passion for because i have to earn money to feed my family and educate my sister). Love and Sex are extremely important for me, so is appreciation and respect from my partner... What do I Do?

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How can you adore each other and not have sex? as if you are just friends now. 

are u lost just because you can't attract the men you're after, or? 

damn i wish it was that easy for me, to be lost just because you lack love... 

cheers ***

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Hi guys. Thanks a lot for taking the time to respond. Sorry I didn't realize there were responses to my post as I didn't receive any notification.. 

@walt  sorry not sure what your 2nd sentences meant. I did think of reaching out to someone but didn't follow through. not sure why.  Somehow have doubts about counselors.. But maybe worth exploring anyway. 

@Mark Joseph Middleton I did tell him straight, many times. Although it was really really hard to do.. Even recently we had probably the best conversation on this topic so far.. I even told him that we probably need ot get help and that I'm scared to hurt him or lose him if turns out we're just not compatible and our marriage has to end up in divorce...

@Majda - ofcourse it's not just that one factor. And i'm sure we're not in a competition for who has harder problems in life. I do wish you all the very best with yours. And hope mine get sorted out too. Thanks

 

 

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yeah, sorry if you got it that way... You are right, all confusions, hurt, matter... 

i wish you best of luck 

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