Melanie Ricci

Why don't I have friends?

17 posts in this topic

My whole life I've had a hard time finding friends. At this very moment I don't have any real friends at all and I don't know what to do differently. I don't like spending time outside because I feel really unsafe but this isolation is killing me. I need connection and I need friends. Every single time I try to become friends with someone they push me away. I feel like a lot of people really don't like me and would rather not have any contact with me at all. What should I do?

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20 minutes ago, Melanie Ricci said:

My whole life I've had a hard time finding friends. At this very moment I don't have any real friends at all and I don't know what to do differently. I don't like spending time outside because I feel really unsafe but this isolation is killing me. I need connection and I need friends. Every single time I try to become friends with someone they push me away. I feel like a lot of people really don't like me and would rather not have any contact with me at all. What should I do?

I have this same issue although I know its for different reasons.  

I see 7's a lot 777, 77.  That's the loner number which makes sense for me because people tend to slow down my progress.

If you want to connect with people and the universe agrees that that's apart of your soul mission then here's what I advise.

If you have your own views and opinions and your very verbal about them and they cause controversy between you and others try toning it down a bit.  

Meditate on that thought that you would like to meet people who are like you that you can trust for a good 15 minutes a day before you go out into the world.  That increases your probability of encounters with those you long to meet.

Relaxing about it it important and if none of that works then what your supposed to be doing is focusing on empowering yourself through your activities then people will come or you'll find them on the way.

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Hello everyone,

This is quite the synchronicity as today I've bee thinking about friends and meeting new people.

I think that sometimes we have to face our fears of going out and the fear of people rejecting us. I know it sounds hard enough but in my path I'm realizing that my fears are holding me back big time.

I think I'm going to start being a bit more courageous and even start doing things on my own..You'll never know what you can find out there. You're not alone.

Many blessings,

Giulia.

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Well first, I think you need to commend yourself for posting what you did, it was a very brave. I always carry a stone with me to help ground me, I make a plan and identify what about the activity causes me to feel anxious and I pre-plan how I am going to process those things before I'm in that situation. It helps.

 

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Melanie, dont worry...we are here. You are not alone....no body will push you away here. Will also give you strength to create happy moments in your locality...just be in touch

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Pretend that everyone likes you even if they dont.  Its nice because when you are already in the mode of "everyone hates me" then you have this predetermined nature of being sensitive to how other people feel or act around you.  I would be more in tune with their present body language versus something like "this person probably thinks this of me" because at any given moment an idea can change.  especially about people.

Im sure you also have constant shifting ideas of the people around you.

So why is it not the same for them?

I remember when I first moved into this house, I felt like everyone was a little standoff ish or had this wall up.  My previously natural reaction would have been to think these people hated me.  But instead, I took it as a sign that these people were putting up walls to know how to survive around me, to know how much they could trust me.  So, in my head, I already made them my friend.  But because I also already had previously experienced social anxiety and fear of other people, I was able to know when space was needed or when I had been overstepping my bounds without making it personal.  Kind of a selfish thing to do anyway to make it personal.

Anyway, for now, enjoy being alone.  Its a good way to learn more about yourself.  To explore yourself.  To find out who you are when no one else is around.  Ultimately you are living this life and no one else.  It's funny how it works, but when you feel the least alone it has nothing to do with the amount of people around you yet they come flooding in anyway.

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I understand. I have been going through the same thing. Its like the water bowl with the pepper, add a drop of dish soap and it pushes away. We feel like the soap and everyone else is the pepper. I would love to help but I haven't found a way around it yet. I have been experimenting with counseling and anti anxiety meds but I really  think there's more to it. I haven't found my clique of people. I'm too open, strange and have no boundaries verbally. I think I scare people. lol. Not on here of course, this is easy. Face  to face is a lot hard.

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13 hours ago, Melanie Ricci said:

What should I do?

Well, I hope you feel welcome here. :) This is a really kind place where we all support each other, and may speak our minds. It's alright to be yourself here, and in general. That's how you find your real friends, or your (get ready for it) tribe. <3 It's a really difficult leg of the spiritual journey to go it alone while you're figuring things out, but eventually, your real friends show up. Even if they're scattered across the globe. 

I'm feeling friendship here where I haven't had any in a little while outside my band, and it's great to talk about the spiritual like it actually is a thing... because it's a thing for me. Glad you found this forum. 

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14 hours ago, Melanie Ricci said:

My whole life I've had a hard time finding friends. At this very moment I don't have any real friends at all and I don't know what to do differently. I don't like spending time outside because I feel really unsafe but this isolation is killing me. I need connection and I need friends. Every single time I try to become friends with someone they push me away. I feel like a lot of people really don't like me and would rather not have any contact with me at all. What should I do?

Feel free to mesage me if you need a friend :)

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