Ricardo Ventura

confused on where to go physically, can somebody relate?(Help!)

4 posts in this topic

confused on where to go physically, can somebody relate?(Help!)

Hi everybody, this is my first interaction in the forums of Teal's page

I hope you all are doing well and somebody can help me with my current situation,My name is Ricardo and I'm from México city,  I'm feeling totally trapt, I live in a house with my parents, brothers and sister, all the environment is really toxic the more time past the more I feel this can get more bad and hostile, I feel ashamed of say this cause part of me think that a "spiritual and conscious person" wouldn't say it but I fucking hate my parents, I can't stand them,(to putt you a litle bit in context ) my mother is ill of arthritis since before I born, I grew up learning to cooked, administrate medicaments change diapers, clean and heal wounds etc, I found that she is manipulative, my father leave when I had 6 or 7and I never feel conected to him un reality, time past by, things happened but long story short,He came back to live in the house years ago cause his second relationship broke and he had no place to live, they have been figth latetly and hate each other a lot even when they say that they are fine and the other is who has the problem, they fight thing of their past but don't get at all the concept that your past follow you until you deal with it and they threat each other with throw the other to the street cause the house has no testament or owner, anyways the times I try to do something or talk to them about this emotional and spiritual things she don't really pay attention and he just believe that I'm wrong and is crazy, I don't believe this could ve solve in a conscious way and feel that they can overreact and do something to try to harm the people involve in this, after all is conditional love and is not the first time that they use this attitude of "you do what I say or you leave" with us since we have....like 10? I don't even remember.

I have 21 years old, I'm an artist, I have no money to maintain myself I'm depending of the money that my fhater give us legaly but I want to change that cause that is just  a forma of blackmail, to be honest don't really want to work in a regular place, I try it, it was horrible, I felt that I was just losing my life there and the energy of everyone hating their lives and doing berely half of the work for that reason was the worst  (im seeing a 11:11 rigth now, what it means?! I keep seing series of numbers like 333,222,111,444,555,777,33,22,44,1133, 1122,1155, even though i'm feeling stuck in this with no possible solution) I want to dedicate to art and live out of that but I feel that has no energy to do something, I'm really scared of feeling that I can't even perform to help myself!!, feel like the slave of the needs of my mother for a long time now and is really hard to set boundaries cause when I say that I can't or justo no cause it feel wrong (like ask for money to other people or lend her mine) she manipulate the situation and makes me feel guilt and think that I have to do thows things cause she is ill and impeded, I feel that I need to freaking calm down at least 5 minutes but also I can't cause I feel that I have to "jump to the abis or dye" or fly fast to good only knows where because the place is on fire, help her is a 24/7 work but I feel like she is not interest in change and that is fine but I can't and I refuse to stay with her/them for ever, especially when I can't fucking ignore this kind of awereness things anymore I'm a "spiritual" person ok? I'm really askin for help guys!! I know about the trancition and the ratcage and I try to do shadow work or at leas being present with the emotion and do emotional vipassana, but I've been dealing with suicidal thoughts a really long part of my life and has increase lately, like almost a year or so and  I'm not really scared about that but Idon't feel like being objective need some help and insigt about what to do, I really want to leave this place so bad and that would feel like the best solution most because I feel almost imposible can talk in this terms(more conscious) with them and also because to be hones the mayor parte of me feel no longer interest on that but I'm willing to hear more posibilities and external points of view,I've been realizing a lot of things but  is like to many things are happening or time is rushing or I have to work on to many things that I don't know how to approach this, am I just complaining? Do I have to go with some person at least temporarily? what is the mental/emotional/concept non physical thing that I'm missing?, I would totally apreciate your help guys, just  writing this help a litle bit, I feel that I'm conecting with more like-minded people, sorry if there is misspelling, my love to you everybody and thank you???.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Try being aware of your shadows regarding being trapped in your situation. It's really important to look at the shadows of your situation before you move, otherwise you'll attract a similar situation of being trapped no matter where you move to.

Then, when/if it feels good, start thinking about all the things you want instead. Start designing your ideal living situation based on what you know you don't want already. So for example you might want things like free time, not many chores to do, no one to take care of, 3 bedrooms, etc. Make a believable list that feels great to think about. Think about it often, maybe even set a time every day to focus on these things and feel good about it. 5-10 minutes per day is good.

Start considering all the ways that it's easy to live somewhere else. There's an unlimited amount of places to live on this planet. Some people travel the world without spending more than a few dollars a day, and they always have a place to stay. For them it's as easy as finding water, because their thoughts are tuned to feeling safe and supported, they don't think feel trapped or constricted by life. Use your mind to come up with ways that you are already free and safe, it doesn't have to make sense it just has to feel better.

When you start to see opportunities to live somewhere else, make sure you follow through. Try not to worry about money too much because it comes and goes, but it helps if you always have a backup plan. You might not manifest the perfect situation right away - be flexible and go with whatever comes your way. See if you can involve other people in your manifestation - talk to your friends or whoever about your desire to leave and live somewhere else. You never know the kinds of ideas or opportunities that can come as a result.

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you need to go, go. You don't need money to walk out the door, stick out your thumb and go. Visit friends you haven't met yet. Visit places you haven't seen yet. If you are an artist make art, sell it, buy food. But beware, if you are addicted to misery, you will find misery everywhere you go! If you are addicted to suffering you'll find yourself taking care of other suffering people and suffering yourself. Truly conscious? Find the place where your pain takes you inside yourself. Use the pain as a signpost to understand your own suffering or you will take it where ever you go. Follow the light! Take the path with heart. Follow the love. Use the pain to learn the lessons that free you from the pain where ever you are. Use the pain! Read teal's Completion Process. Pray, meditate, explore. create. Be Blessed, be a blessing! 

  • Upvote 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello :)*

I believe strongly you need to first make space for yourself to find out what would the next step be... So, you need to leave, at least for a while, so you can clear your mind. 

Maybe things got better, i dont know, am replying late... I feel for you, go for your dreams, don't worry about parents and family, they will find enlightenment at one point, you all need rest, to be apart, especially you since this is a post for you. 

So, please, leave, set yourself free and don't feel guilt. Love them and believe they will find their way... You find yours. You are young and prosperous, it is time to blossom. 

Love you

 

Edited by Majda

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now