amandapanda

unrequited love - reaching out

9 posts in this topic

unrequited love - reaching out

I have been contemplating reaching out to a person and telling them how I felt about them. 

But here's the facts:

We went to High school together ( had a crush on him then ). At the very end of senior year he invited me to hang out with him at his house. I had a great time. But he didn't really peruse me after that. I don't know if that was because I went to school out of state and we were far apart or what happened on his end. I felt very let down and crestfallen but I continued to date other people and ended up in a serious relationship for 6 yrs.  I didn't hear from him for all that time. 

Fast forward to 2011-12. I get an FB request from him and a long message.  We reconnect. He comes to visit me from NY.  ( i was over the moon) All my feelings for him came flooding back.  I don't tell him.

Again we drift apart. 

I move to Brookly in 2013 - and we begin to hang out on occasion since he lives there. I'm overwhelmed with feeling but I keep him at a distance. He tells me about

girls he's dating and it hurts but I take it. Life happens and I move out of  Brooklyn because the city is just too intense for me.

I resolve that if he liked me he would have made a move. 

But, as time goes by I remember the deep connection I felt for him. I have found that so rarely in my life that I wonder If i really missed an opportunity.

I am considering reaching out to him and telling him how I felt for all these years. 

Is that unwise?

His intensity scared me away at the time and I was much more insecure about my looks back then and feared he would reject me. 

But to be clear, I'm not dying over him. I'm not pining away like some sad hopeless romantic. I know I can find someone eventually, it may take time. I know I don't NEED him to be happy.

Should I go ahead and send him an email? Just letting him know how I felt. No expectations.. just hey btw, I liked you and I think of you fondly.

 

 

 

 

 

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Probably everyone experienced this feeling afraid of doubt and rejection, afraid of negative consequences, and continue to live on dream , continue to live with regret because was brave not enough to make a move from our dream  bubble towards reality, it's draining your energy, it's like an  anchor to your life boat keeping pinned your past good time and you would like to relive these feelings again but the same time you feeling it could be something different it could be something changes you have to accept, if your heart calls probably is there some message for you. You're nothing going to lose, you just going to receive different experience in different time

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6 hours ago, amandapanda said:

s that unwise?

Only if you are not afraid to loose him as a friend. Remember that once you tell him and if he doesn't feel the same.... i doubt you'll be hanging out again... if he cares, of course . 

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@Garnet Well he's not really a friend anymore. I haven't talked to him or seen him in 2 years... He stopped talking to me when i left Brooklyn. I think that's why I'm thinking about doing it now. I kind of have nothing to loose.....

But thanks! I think that actually answers my question, in a way. I've been taking on responsibility for the fact we aren't in touch but really he stopped putting in the effort which kind of is telling about how much he valued our connection....

 Yes, @vincent"it's draining your energy"  You are so right. IT IS!  No wonder I can't manifest any really good options for love into my life... I'm still dreaming of the past or what could have been. No real man can compete with this silly fantasy, I've got playing in the background... Thank you for your advice!

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 I'm about to put similar story on display for advise which is over 8 years old, there is still to separate shadows and projection, and I already know the answers, but if still available to get validations on real life, my inner voice says DO IT!

I remember Teals video ,,Imagine You've died yesterday'' and several questions it hits me hard: What you wanted to do in your life and you didn't? What you wanted to say to someone and you didn't ?

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2 hours ago, vincent said:

 I'm about to put similar story on display for advise which is over 8 years old, there is still to separate shadows and projection, and I already know the answers, but if still available to get validations on real life, my inner voice says DO IT!

 

yes. my inner voice is saying DO IT too... but part of me knows he's not quite right for me... I don't know... i feel like at the very least I am proving something to myself?

Edited by amandapanda

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Great! It's only the way to unhook from yours endless circles and your possible dream lines will starts to receive completions answers. I wishing smooth transition :)

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On Monday, June 19, 2017 at 2:11 PM, amandapanda said:

OMG I JUST DID IT... ahhhhhhhhhhhe

I totally wanted to say do it! Let us know how that plays out. 

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