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amandapanda

Oedipal Complex

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Oedipal Complex

Teal did a video on Oedipal complex. I am also just reading a book that goes into it, that I am finding fascinating and resonant! 

 

But when I mentioned to my therapist she kind of said that it was an old fashioned idea.

 

I am open to these things, even though they are found so repugnant to most people that they don't want to admit  or  suppress / Deny / minimize them.

 

But perhaps,  am I just grabbing at straws to figure out my issues.. and maybe it is true that it is an "old Fashioned" way of looking at the human psyche?

 

I, myself do not have any direct memory of having sexual feelings for my father, but I have no problem entertaining the idea that they may

have once existed as part of a phase of my development. A childs understanding of sex is so naive anyway!! So I don't think it's so strange to think

that a child may go through this phase. And like children do, they grow out of it naturally, like baby teeth being replaced by adult ones.

 

 The trauma comes as a result of the ADULTS projection about what this means to them.  All children are 

innocent and pure. It is the adult  that makes it into something dirty and bad and then, naturally the child gets the message " I AM BAD" and/or

"my sexuality is BAD".

 

 

 

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Depending on each family 's dynamic and especially when the relationship is very close between a child and a parent, untill a certain age a child can not really perceive that one day he will be leaving home. So a lot of the times when they see others forming a family they visualize their parent on a place of a partner . This is where parents start freaking out thinking that's it's all gone wrong and distance from the child .

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Thank you @Garnet (nice to see you again !)  

I have been trying to look more deeply into the relationship with my father in particular.  ( have been working on the Mom thing for a long time ). 

I do know that my bond with my father ( and my fathers bond with me ) when I was young was particularly strong. Since my mom was depressed. 

I my father was extremely overprotective of me. And has a hard time even to day ( i'm 35) of letting me move out and leave the house.

Now I find myself continually attracting people who are like my father and once I see the similarities I freak and run for the hills.

 

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Hi Amanda! Good to see you too!

If you have stable income and know how to take care of yourself i don't see how your father can stop you from moving out...

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3 hours ago, amandapanda said:

Now I find myself continually attracting people who are like my father and once I see the similarities I freak and run for the hills.

 

Hi Amandapanda

There is a School Of Life video called something like "Why you will marry the wrong person".  The basic premise is that you will be attracted to familiar patterns.   

So to try to counter act that, you are supposed to think about what you want while you aren't in a relationship so that you can make a better more informed decision.

I just think self-awareness and clear thinking is good.

 

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@Garnet - yes, for sure. He can't STOP me, but he makes it harder! O.o

@Scot - oh I've seen that video but I haven't yet watched it. Yes, I am glad I SEE the pattern, but I often feel I can't escape it anyway, and sometimes it feels

that I am doomed to be alone because everyone I like doesn't like me, and everyone who likes me - I don't like... haha.. (funny, but not really ).

 

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