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HolographicLight

Awakening Process - Ego Death?

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Awakening Process - Ego Death?

Hi everyone,

     My awakening happened almost two years ago in which I had a "dark knight of the soul" experience (deep depression) that led me to either taking my life or staying physically. It was at this time that I completely gave up, surrendered, and let my ego/identity die. I didn't care what was going to happen with me, what others thought or wanted from me, and what my mind & ego wanted. It was the ultimate form of releasing resistance that I've ever experienced. I knew I was still in body, but a massive part of me died for the better. I don't know if this was related to the energy shifts and Earth vibrational changes, or if this is tied directly with personal ascension and awakening. 

My question is: "Does everyone's awakening entail a death of the ego, or at least an ascension past this?"

When the new energy of my being took over, I literally did not know who I was and sometimes I even forgot my name when people called me by it. I found myself picking up on other's energy dramatically. Has everyone experienced this, or is it personally specific to me and my individual awakening? I would like to know your experiences and thoughts. Thank you! 

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I can say that I have not had an experience quite like yours.  But I can tell you my hypothesis.

 "self-conscious"  We use the term to imply unease, perhaps shame.

"self-aware".  When we are self-aware, we are conscious of ourselves as individual entities but without the unease.

"absorbed" - sometimes we can be so absorbed into something that we forget everything else.  For example, those brief instances at the movies when we are so captivated by what is happening on screen that we temporarily forget we are sitting in a theatre watching a movie.

"ego loss".  Our consciousness is focussed on the world around us.  We don't feel self-conscious and maybe not even particularly self-aware.  In this state you feel "at one".

So I think there is a continuum of levels of consciousness ranging from "self-consciousness" through to "transcendental consciousness".

And I think experiencing "ego loss" together with a rise in kundalini energy might be what you called "awakening".   But I don't know much about kundalini energy.  Someone else is going to have to tell us about that.

 

Edited by Scot

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On 5/28/2017 at 9:32 PM, HolographicLight said:

Awakening Process - Ego Death?

Hi everyone,

     My awakening happened almost two years ago in which I had a "dark knight of the soul" experience (deep depression) that led me to either taking my life or staying physically. It was at this time that I completely gave up, surrendered, and let my ego/identity die. I didn't care what was going to happen with me, what others thought or wanted from me, and what my mind & ego wanted. It was the ultimate form of releasing resistance that I've ever experienced. I knew I was still in body, but a massive part of me died for the better. I don't know if this was related to the energy shifts and Earth vibrational changes, or if this is tied directly with personal ascension and awakening. 

My question is: "Does everyone's awakening entail a death of the ego, or at least an ascension past this?"

When the new energy of my being took over, I literally did not know who I was and sometimes I even forgot my name when people called me by it. I found myself picking up on other's energy dramatically. Has everyone experienced this, or is it personally specific to me and my individual awakening? I would like to know your experiences and thoughts. Thank you! 

Many awakenings can cause depression, fear, and anxiety. All your life ambitions can break down as you start to realize everything is without "point" sort of speak and that "there is no where to go"

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Thank you Scot. I defintely felt the ego loss and the state of feeling at "one" with all that is. I still can't wrap my head around there being no resistance and that I actually chose that state in some conscious sense. It was the breaking point so to speak in which Teal describes as either committing to life or not committing because the contrast and stagnation is so intense. It lasted for about one year and recently I can feel a slight development in ego returning, as I believe it's because I chose to continue here in the 3D and in this dimension it is a necessary to have a singular perspective. Some say it's one of the side effects from the transition of our planet as 3D to 4D; not quite sure... 

Yes indeed John! it was like a complete cleansing of my slate in regard to life ambitions and outcomes. It made me realize that there is no point unless you want your life to have purpose. 

Thank you both for your input 

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Hey HolographicLight :) I can relate to your experience. From my perspective ego death isn't permanent. There are past traumas that are always looking for integration and when they happen it can invoke an egoic reaction which is okay for us to respond in that way. If it were not okay then it would put you into resistance of the process.

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When I had my awakening, I understood the necessity of the ego socially and therefore felt no reason to dismiss or deny it. I saw beyond it but chose to keep it. It's like Alan Watts says "When you understand that this life, this ego, is just a game, you're free to get as lost in it as you want...."

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4 hours ago, authorofdarkness said:

When I had my awakening, I understood the necessity of the ego socially and therefore felt no reason to dismiss or deny it. I saw beyond it but chose to keep it. It's like Alan Watts says "When you understand that this life, this ego, is just a game, you're free to get as lost in it as you want...."

This makes sense. Thank you.  I'm glad I'm conscious of when to activate and deactivate it now in society. It's weird though because even if I do that, I feel that I'm being inauthentic.  However, I feel that before going through this, I was lost.   Rather, it seems my awakening was the spawning of me at "start" again in the game. 

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