Mind's Eye

Autism and feeling defective

15 posts in this topic

I saw Teal's video and with the other research I have done I'm pretty sure that I have Autism. I feel like I'm  defective and I'm not fixable. I also feel unwanted and unlovable. Who wants something that's broken. I need some help with this please. 

Edited by Mind's Eye

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fixable? there is nothing wrong with you, and also the way we see ourselves is what we project onto people and think they see us the way we see ourselves, people see us different than we see ourselves in reality. If everyone conforms this place would never change, so its necessary. I was just thinking of this, once you are connected to your higher self and out of the matrix you can call it you have to pretty much go in a spiritual war or war on consciousness, you have all of these societal beliefs that aren't yours and they are like the agent Smiths, the unconscious people still programmed and aren't aware of this god aspect of them are pretty much agent Smith, and the ones who cant be controlled are plugged out of the matrix and see it(Neo).

This unplugged perspective is realizing that your are god, that's in the design down here, whenever we are in the matrix, In the illusion we give people our power because we aren't connected to our higher self, we respect authority here so we take on peoples and societies labels they give us and once a Dr. does that we just handed them our power without even knowing it. That goes with anything, if we fear someone/something we handed over our power, if we love someone more than ourselves we just handed our power over. nothing is wrong with you its this current system that is broken, not you.

My blue print is to talk about this stuff and its terrifying because I will 100% offend and trigger people because they are still stuck in beliefs and unhealthy ego, my higher self doesn't give a fuck if you are a doctor or have high status or whatever piece of paper that makes you think you are qualified to talk down to someone, it can see past all of that, and its not handing over anything, it just breaks peoples paradigm because this source in us is real, its not fantasy, its 100% real and even people that don't believe it I can see their belief systems that make them believe that is true, my resistance in life is to allow myself to talk freely and break that in people, its also easy to recognize other people who are also connected to this source perspective, and its rare as fuck, but those needles in a haystack exist, its just you are constantly in a this spiritual war, subjective truth vs. objective truth, subjective is ego and brain and objective is heart and higher self/love/source perspective. A lot of resistance when you have that perspective

Just imagine anyone outside of you that wants you to change as being a agent smith, because the people plugged in the matrix can turn into him, and he represents all the belief systems, like tv watchers, belief systems from their parents passed on, societal beliefs and when you go against the norm the "agent smiths" will make you feel shame for being different, but that's a part of the design for people to not fit in, its normal, never feel bad about it, and yes you are loved and wanted,

I'm sure you've seen the movie the matrix or this wont make sense lol. nothing is wrong with you, trust me, this whole system is broken.

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Thank you Alex.

(Thinking out loud)

so if god is love and I am god, then, I am also love. So if I say I'm unlovable and broken, then I'm denying the part of me that is god and cutting off my connection to source. 

Edited by Mind's Eye
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12 hours ago, Mind's Eye said:

Thank you Alex.

(Thinking out loud)

so if god is love and I am god, then, I am also love. So if I say I'm unlovable and broken, then I'm denying the part of me that is god and cutting off my connection to source. 

source made you this way, it sounds like I'm being religious but the way people are is a part of the design, and trust me nothing is wrong with you and yes you are loved. We all have a blueprint, the child self will give you a big hint there, so if you don't remember how you were as a kid ask people that were in your childhood. My blue print is to evolve, my entire life will be to evolve and express fully and take peoples masks off because around me you cant have a mask on, I see you and I love you but I wont let someone's unhealthy ego tear them down where it hurts them. When something doesn't benefit me I quit it, that includes beliefs, people and social media and tv, I want to be a pure channel for my higher self without the influence of subjective truth.

Heres how much people have no idea what love is, if anyone makes you feel shame for being this way, they love conditionally which is a low level of love, humans overall love conditionally, they do not see you from source perspective, they still have this standard=good/approved and anomaly=bad/rejected. If people can only love the good and people that conform, fuck that love they can have it, conditional love is offense to me lol the real thing exists and I have no problem leaving people that love me conditionally. respect your boundaries and if people don't understand try to explain your perspective to them, like sensory over stimulation or something like that, I totally understand some people are more sensitive and cant do what other people call easy. The human spectrum is huge, nothing is wrong with you.

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I realize this morning after doing some shadow work that I was afraid of being judged and being punished if I was not a "good" boy. I was also ashamed of being a male, of my anatomy, and of my desire to be intimate with a woman. All very appropriate for a four year old. 

Thank you walt and Alex7

Edited by Mind's Eye
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Autistic people are the most gifted people on the planet. As more people raise their Frequencies, they will seem more rational, intelligent , and "normal" than everyone else who have larger ego barriers. 

Those who are too advanced who unique will be healed to match the language of the needed individuals or that time period.

Edited by John Flores
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On 5/20/2017 at 11:06 PM, John Flores said:

Autistic people are the most gifted people on the planet. As more people raise their Frequencies, they will seem more rational, intelligent , and "normal" than everyone else who have larger ego barriers. 

Those who are too advanced who unique will be healed to match the language of the needed individuals or that time period.

I guess I should spend more time with people who are are at higher frequencies then. 

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On 18/05/2017 at 8:30 PM, Mind's Eye said:

Walt

How do I do that and still feel safe? 

Alex

I will send you a pm. 

  How do I do that and still feel safe? 

 this is the right question,  I think to feel save is when someones loves you and accepts you as you are, that person will reflects you as you think about your self. 

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On 08/05/2017 at 7:10 AM, Alex7 said:

My blue print is to talk about this stuff and its terrifying because I will 100% offend and trigger people because they are still stuck in beliefs and unhealthy ego, my higher self doesn't give a fuck if you are a doctor or have high status or whatever piece of paper that makes you think you are qualified to talk down to someone, it can see past all of that, and its not handing over anything, it just breaks peoples paradigm because this source in us is real, its not fantasy, its 100% real and even people that don't believe it I can see their belief systems that make them believe that is true, my resistance in life is to allow myself to talk freely and break that in people, its also easy to recognize other people who are also connected to this source perspective, and its rare as fuck, but those needles in a haystack exist, its just you are constantly in a this spiritual war, subjective truth vs. objective truth, subjective is ego and brain and objective is heart and higher self/love/source perspective. A lot of resistance when you have that perspective

 

  Alex

 thank you for this expression, Projection this is a bottom line to me, I was thinking some how to start a topic about this, I was under strong projection and manipulation about 8 years, later I've realized these people live from that, they attracting you, dropping hints, making feel you guilty and manipulating. I've tasted probably all suckiesd templates. At that time meaning of projection for me was just about photography and geometry. I was in deep anxiety walking Borderline and thinking the world against me then I found this site. Now after two years  I'm looking at my ,,life'' as the movie and I can see almost ten years was affected in total. I'm still not sure what to do, shall I go back and to tell to the face each of them when and how  I was feeling abused by them, or just slam the door and to withdraw out of that place (actually almost did it). But by withdrawing I'm feeling some how I'm approving things they projects on me, maybe to wright a latter and don't get back to be involved in to resentments,

any suggestions please

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On 2017-7-4 at 11:18 AM, vincent said:

I was feeling abused by them, or just slam the door and to withdraw out of that place (actually almost did it). But by withdrawing I'm feeling some how I'm approving things they projects on me, maybe to wright a latter and don't get back to be involved in to resentments,

any suggestions please

Hey.. 

I have been still am struggling with this a lot. I slammed the door, it's what they deserve... Alex mentionned somewhere, he opens up to people who are willing to change, who ask, who are on the edge cant take it anymore for real... You do not approve anything by withdrawing, slamming the door, you are just in the need of yourself. You can write a letter, that would be an emotional and mental relief for yourself too... See afterwards if you want to actually send it. I would write a letter. Can't confront that conditional love as Alex says anymore, those subjective minds and tight blocked energies. They block my flow too, and boom! illness

My ex "spiritual teacher", really gifted man, used to say we all have our journey, it doesn't matter how evolved the other is, unhealthy for you is unhealthy for them too. 

Mind's eye, I feel for you and find myself in lots of what the world turned you into. From a female's and soulful perspective, it's truly the energy that attracts. You can be ugly as hell, if you are gathered, integrated, in the present, yourself, vulnerable or/and intelligent, you shine and attract. Four year old will attract a four year old though, and that is great too, there are many of us there. 

Alex i really appriciate your posts, really helpful, honest and beautiful. 

Btw, I listened to Teal yesterday on How to feel safe. Good discernment, it raises awareness

 

 

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13 hours ago, Majda said:

Hey.. 

I have been still am struggling with this a lot. I slammed the door, it's what they deserve... Alex mentionned somewhere, he opens up to people who are willing to change, who ask, who are on the edge cant take it anymore for real... You do not approve anything by withdrawing, slamming the door, you are just in the need of yourself. You can write a letter, that would be an emotional and mental relief for yourself too... See afterwards if you want to actually send it. I would write a letter.

Thank you for respond Majda. You're right is probably all about mental and emotional relief, but also about to find when that missvalidation begins, I think slamming the door happens when collects numbers of mistreated and unexposed feelings

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7 hours ago, walt said:

Vincent, it's not a good idea to work on our wounds by confronting our abusers. This doesn't resolve anything and can easily ad to our wound count.

Walt, thanks for sharing your point, I agree, and they will going to look through the same glasses just stronger lenses.

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Thank you everyone. I now understand why my mom does the things she does. It's the only way she knows.  When she is run down the way she recharges is by taking energy from others; then her ego justifies her behavior by denial and by playing like she is victim.  

I find this reliving. 

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Hi Mind's Eye,

 

I would like to ask; are you still having issues with this? I also have Autism. I struggle pretty regularly with it, and as a result have some views on it, and ways of thinking about it that, while partially reflective of Teal's video, might be a little different in how I frame it. Of course, if you're doing well then, well... no point in my stirring the pot, heh. It's a topic I feel a lot of resistance to talking about, but I think what I have to say might be of worth, to other Autistic people. Perhaps. It's always difficult to tell, without trying first, I suppose.

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