Garnet

Good&Evil. Integration. Unity manifestation.

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Good&Evil. Integration. Unity manifestation.

Demons/Angels or not we all see our fears differently. I am creating this space for us to post anything that represents either sides. Maybe something that we've been postponing to face.

Writing is a form of manifestation. So when you write/post you are facing it. All is left is to recognize it as a part of you because it is coming through You. Whatever it is use your best weapon - Love. Shower that part of you with Love and  watch/feel  how something  changes within you.

Share it here! Use any necessary materials (links, books, movies , songs etc.) to help express yourself. Add a story /experience so we can see your progress! 

Encourage each other to help your creativity flow! 

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

 

 

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I'll be first.

I was doing shadow work about a small accident that happened when i was about 6. My father was teaching me how to swim .He was walking through the river back and forth holding me. Then somewhere in the middle of the river when he thought I was doing good, he let go of holding me and.... I went down like a rock. He caught me, of coarse, when i was almost on the bottom . 

I remember pain i had in my chest and lungs. Everybody couldn't believe how could i get so much water because i was only a few seconds under water. But to me it didn't feel like i was there a few seconds. In fact i was trying to tell them about a long fall down! and i'll never forget that.

After that my parents signed me up for swimming lessons. But it also didn't go too well. After learning the basics like holding myself up, dog paddle, swimming like a frog etc. the diving wasn't easy for me. This time i couldn't sink! lol Every time i tried to go under water I would pop right up to the surface . My instructor told me I have an invisible life jacket. The only way i was able to go under water was when I was holding onto the ladder or when i would exhale all the air out which was very scary for me.

I am actually still not very good at swimming. So if you see me sinking that's not a joke ?. I didn't like my face in the water so eventually i self-tought myself to swim on my back and i was able to enjoy just floating face up.

So... today I am facing one of my dark monsters and taking first steps to recovery from my drowning.

Meet Poseidon. 

Dragging him up here wasn't easy but we have made it. Hooray ! And what a handsome man he is! Now he is officially a part of me and our integrating journey. I feel like he wants to be seen and recognized. Poseidon is so powerful but he doesn't really see it what an awesome God he is! and tbh i am not surprised that he doesn't see himself - most of his time he just sits under water and does not even know what his actions  cause  on the opposite side of his world!

Conclusion.

After bringing Poseidon to the surface and seeing his power I do recognize his traits in me. It looks like we can work out some issues now and share our wisdom with each other and perhaps try to meet each others needs so we can have a sense of peace we both can live with.

I hope looking at himself through my eyes he sees that and also takes a step forward . 

 

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2 hours ago, Garnet said:

Writing is a form of manifestation. So when you write/post you are facing it. All is left is to recognize it as a part of you because it is coming through You. Whatever it is use your best weapon - Love. Shower that part of you with Love and  watch/feel  how something  changes within you.

Dear Garnet, I love you. Its been almost a year i have known you. The efforts that you put to initiate, interact with all sorts of people is the one quality i like about you and also something that i have too. We are similar in that way. You are the true catalyst of this forum, spiritual and creative in your approach. For a lovely human being, you, I love you!

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@Aquarian Thank you for your kind words and support. Always happy to keep things alive! I also thank you for the great suggestion and keep the ideas coming !

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I just got a memory of swimming, I was on my dads back and he let me go and I remember that being terrifying, I couldn't swim I just flop! I was probably 5 more or less. I taught myself to swim because we would go to the swimming pool in the summer time and it was $2 to go in and you just learn from doing it all the time hours in water. probably spend more than $100 there lol.

okay lets do this lol. my fear is to express and be seen and to be confident in what I know, and to be able to talk to anyone about this because its true, I'm not like making up what I know, I don't know how people don't know this, but the programming and belief systems and lies of this place are intimidating to me, but I'm just trying to get them to the default mode which is your connection to your higher self but it can come off as a religious thing because people messed that up too, now its ridiculous but the higher self part is very true and vibration and frequency, and I have to unprogram myself out of this and oh my lawd its a lot. Disease isn't even a thing, i don't care what a doctor says its always an emotional cause and trauma, and because I have so much resistance to speaking what I know to be true, which is my blue print. so because I'm not being my blue print and just speaking freely my body is sending me little hints that tell me I'm not being my blue print. The geometric pattern (aura)around me is making my body have red on my skin, but if i express fully it will go away because I'm not suppressing myself and making a knot to my body to just flow and be in alignment Image result for knot in a garden hose

My ego used to believe it was broken but now that my higher self is on, yeah disease isn't a thing and get your power back i don't care how many books this doctor read, its all emotional I can confirm this, just to express, even now I project the worst case scenario, so i don't talk about this stuff, but my higher self said that's just your programming don't listen to it, its trying to protect you, its just a part of this human design, your body's job is to protect you, but that projection wont happen. Also your in alignment voice and out of alignment voice are different, the real you comes from your heart and it sounds deeper and hums in you almost.

The root of that is probably being a incubator baby and being afraid to connect because it will just be taken away like it was when i was born, and if you don't deal with it it will manifest again and again till you heal it in you, anything that happens to you already happened its just coming back again to heal the original trauma, isn't life fun..? lol I will get back in alignment and I'm still young and see myself as a baby, life is still long and have a shit load to learn, but here's a out of alignment me. fear is you handing over your power, so fuck that, I take it back. I also love to talk, that might be a Gemini thing, not small talk but just dive in deep already and bounce back ideas to create a better idea, I had shame for that for a while then I realized I love it and i love perspective and what people call broken or fucked up i find interesting because they are having that perspective and i want to know, its a part of their story and the story isn't over. what's the quote? "do not judge my story by the chapter you walked in on" that's a good one.

Anyway here's a out of a alignment me, I'm working on it, we all have our own shit to heal, this is mine, I'm still getting rid of these societal programs which are bullshit by the way, not even true. Even though its terrifying I'm supposed to express fully and i do look forward to my future self, a cross between David Choe and Genesis sunfire  lol the way they express and talk.Image result for david choeImage result for Sunfire Breatharian

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My ear function slowly started to go down when I was 14. So far I have always thought that was because my parents were fighting a lot and heavily throughout my childhood that I literally closed my ears. At 16 a doctor confirmed that I was severely hearing impaired, like needing 55 dB amplification, which means I cannot hear a soft voice. I had two gruelling years at secondary school before I decided to wear hearing aids. I was terrified to make a fool out of myself on school and too embarrassed to tell anyone about my earproblem so I never asked more then once "what did you say, could you repeat that?" so I would often reply without fully hearing what has been said to me and thereby embarrassed myself so many times. Choosing to wear hearing aids was accepting that I was hearing impaired and that I was okay with telling people and that took me those two gruelling years.  

Now I am 30 years old and I am still struggling with my hearing problem. Of course I have learned that it is better to accept my hearing impairedness than to fight it, so I can tell people a lot more easily and even wear nice blue ones and not the flesh coloured ones that hide it better. Sometimes I even love it, when I am sitting in a full train and want some quietness and I can just take my hearing aids out. I have also become very sensitive to peoples body language, which has confused me for a long time, because people often say a different thing than what they communicate with their body.
Even though I have struggled with my ears for half of my life I have to admit that I haven't accepted it fully yet, in fact it probably controls me more than I think. It still hurts me often (like once every day at least) when I don't hear something; I feel embarrassed and insecure. I can get super insecure when I don't know what is being said around me and I know people expect me to follow it because that is how a normal person functions. It also greatly affects my focus because I retreat so often to my inner world, why? because I don't see the point in following a conversation of which I can only hear 30% so imagine my own things. This severely disconnects me from people, while I love being around people.

This demon is the one that has defined my life the most and giving love to it hard. This post is not for the pain that have caused my ears to close up, but for the pain that my closed ears have caused me all those years. It is time to start to integrate those wounds.

@Garnet @Alex7 you too are such wonderful people for sharing your authentic raw versions of yourself. If it is Teals mission to bring authenticity in the world, than she succeded already :) It is moving to read your stories and through it feel the flavours of your lives. Big hugs!

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1 hour ago, Redbeard said:

My ear function slowly started to go down when I was 14. So far I have always thought that was because my parents were fighting a lot and heavily throughout my childhood that I literally closed my ears. At 16 a doctor confirmed that I was severely hearing impaired, like needing 55 dB amplification, which means I cannot hear a soft voice. I had two gruelling years at secondary school before I decided to wear hearing aids. I was terrified to make a fool out of myself on school and too embarrassed to tell anyone about my earproblem so I never asked more then once "what did you say, could you repeat that?" so I would often reply without fully hearing what has been said to me and thereby embarrassed myself so many times. Choosing to wear hearing aids was accepting that I was hearing impaired and that I was okay with telling people and that took me those two gruelling years.  

Now I am 30 years old and I am still struggling with my hearing problem. Of course I have learned that it is better to accept my hearing impairedness than to fight it, so I can tell people a lot more easily and even wear nice blue ones and not the flesh coloured ones that hide it better. Sometimes I even love it, when I am sitting in a full train and want some quietness and I can just take my hearing aids out. I have also become very sensitive to peoples body language, which has confused me for a long time, because people often say a different thing than what they communicate with their body.
Even though I have struggled with my ears for half of my life I have to admit that I haven't accepted it fully yet, in fact it probably controls me more than I think. It still hurts me often (like once every day at least) when I don't hear something; I feel embarrassed and insecure. I can get super insecure when I don't know what is being said around me and I know people expect me to follow it because that is how a normal person functions. It also greatly affects my focus because I retreat so often to my inner world, why? because I don't see the point in following a conversation of which I can only hear 30% so imagine my own things. This severely disconnects me from people, while I love being around people.

This demon is the one that has defined my life the most and giving love to it hard. This post is not for the pain that have caused my ears to close up, but for the pain that my closed ears have caused me all those years. It is time to start to integrate those wounds.

@Garnet @Alex7 you too are such wonderful people for sharing your authentic raw versions of yourself. If it is Teals mission to bring authenticity in the world, than she succeded already :) It is moving to read your stories and through it feel the flavours of your lives. Big hugs!

IMG_20170515_212923.thumb.jpg.7e0622014b12251a29525be675fafbe5.jpg

The resistance to breaking paradigms is real, its for gender, love, spirituality, race, societal beliefs and templates that don't apply to me, and expressing fully lol.

I remember there was a deaf kid at school named Elvis and I didn't think anything bad of him at all, just the sign language teacher was next to the teacher translating, never once was I like this kid cant hear that's weird... its just something new introduced to me, not a bad thing. Anyone that is a asshole is just insecure and that's the shit they do to try to feel powerful over someone else, you learn more about them and where they are in their awareness. Thanks for sharing. :D

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On 16-5-2017 at 0:09 AM, Alex7 said:

The resistance to breaking paradigms is real, its for gender, love, spirituality, race, societal beliefs and templates that don't apply to me, and expressing fully lol.

I remember there was a deaf kid at school named Elvis and I didn't think anything bad of him at all, just the sign language teacher was next to the teacher translating, never once was I like this kid cant hear that's weird... its just something new introduced to me, not a bad thing. Anyone that is a asshole is just insecure and that's the shit they do to try to feel powerful over someone else, you learn more about them and where they are in their awareness. Thanks for sharing. :D

Thanks man! It is good to hear that. It is so funny how people can look so different at the same thing. It will always be a hard thing for me, but it does make me for what I am today so that is something powerful!

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