Rahul Johar

Any advice. Please.

5 posts in this topic

Any advice..

Parents currently fighting, again. Lovely. This time it's probably going to lead to a divorce though, something I must admit I've been hoping for for quite a long time, although I know it's going to cause a shit storm on top of all the other shit going on right now. Any advice? Please? I pity both of them, he's a narcissist and she's a codependent. They're both very traumatised people and my feelings toward them are very confused; love, hate, pity, anger, resentment, sadness etc. although the feelings of love are much stronger towards my mom even though another aspect of me often get pissed at how submissive she is, and the feelings of pity are much stronger for my dad even though another aspect of me hates him with every ounce of my being. He's the loneliest person i've ever met, even more than me. I should also mention it's my dad's house, and so we're going to be kicked out and borderline broke. Yeah. Not exactly the best of times.

Edited by Rahul Johar
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Oh bro, I feel for you and with you! Those moments suck so hard! My parents used to fight for your years every weekend and very fierce and it has made a huge impact on how I am today. As a child I was dependant on them so I couldn't leave and was too scared to say anything. At one saturday morning they were fighting again and I fled the house 'to get groceries', but obviously to flee. At the corner of the street I realized that I was so sick of their fighting and how much pain it has caused me all those years that I went back and told them how I felt. To speak out for myself was the best thing I did.
So my advice is to at least speak up about your own feelings and how their actions impact you. In the end it is their fight and not yours, but when I spoke up I finally got all those shitty feelings of my chest which was a great relief and them seeing how much pain they caused me, they instantly stopped their fighting and didn't fight for a long time. Obviously I cannot compare my situation to yours, but please don't crop any feelings you have right now inside yourself.
Best of wishes

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it sad to hear about that, you have to say to both of them, you Love them, and you will need them in a future anyway, and if family going to split before it happens ask them last time to bring you to some Place or Trip,  may you will dreaming for years but it never happens. Families fighting because they live in different pages and this would be a exceptional case to step for all of you to new page, and who knows may journey will brings some fresh and positive perspective to your family. We did something similar for our daughter several years ago. Wishing best for your family

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Rahul,

I hear your mixed feeling,jumbled emotions and  frustration regarding this situation. You are asking for advice,but for what? 

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My advice is to jump in and be a marriage counsellor for them. Show them the light and also mention that you dont like that they are fighting. Be polite in your approach and do not blame. Run suitable videos of Teal on TV and let them listen to it. You apready know which video to run but i would suggest 'narcissism' and 'psychic vampires'

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