Mental block does not allow me to do CP. Help Please!

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Mental block does not allow me to do CP. Help Please!

Dear All,

My struggle with the CP brought me here and I really hope someone will read my post and be able to help.

I am not able to dive in the CP process myself and I have been trying for over 8 months now. If I conciously try and dive into a feeling my mind separates me on a conscious level from that feeling and literally does not allow me to dive into the process. There is more to it, very often I catch myself listening to  a song being played in my mind, my conscious mind (part of it ) and subconscious mind act like a guard which I am not able to get passed.

I guess it is a protection mechanism but how do I engage it so that it can trust me and let go of the pattern ? I have also noticed that my memory is getting worst and am starting to worry about songs being played in my mind ;-( 

How can I start trusting myself on all levels ?

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. 

Thank you 


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I'm just going to write what I think may be occuring, and you take in any of the information that resonates with you.

1. You go into it with the attitude of wanting to change it. And the feelings understand you. Because they are you, too. You're in a relationship with them, and saying "I'll do the completion process now, I'll work on you." But what the feeling needs may be different. It may want you to be completely unconditionally present with it. But can you do it all the way through the process, without wanting to work on the feeling? No? So then just set 1 minute and say to yourself "All of my aim right now is to be with this feeling. It can get as intense as it can get. I'll just watch it and be by it's side as I'm feeling it." That way, you ARE being unconditionally present. Even for one minute.  But trying to rush to the completion process may ruin it. 
Try to aim getting to know this feeling; it's somebody inside your body and you don't want to do something with it yet. You just want to observe it. 

2. Your mind has a coping mechanism to prevent you from going into the raw feeling. So... What would be so bad about experiencing the feeling? Would you feel like you're dying? Would you feel you won't get back on track again, if you fully go into it; not be able to come out the same? 
You probably know better than that. You think, deep down, going into it is not a good idea at all. But you're not aware of why yet. If you think you shouldn't do it - for any reason, you will find an excuse to not do it. Or in this case, your mind will try to distract you.
So you got to align what your mind wants, and what You want to do. First and foremost, you need to figure out why is it so bad to go into feelings. Side with your mind completely for a moment; See it's perspective. After a while of doing that you will see why YOU are distracting YOURSELF from the process in the first place. You're gonna feel that it is You that didn't want to go along, and you now see why. 
From this point forward, you can start finding creative solutions to why you don't want to do the process.

3. You mentioned trust. "how do I engage it so that it can trust me and let go of the pattern?" So you may need security first to do this process. 
And nobody can debate you out of that one. Because it is necessary. You need to set up a secure environment, and back up plans before doing this process. You need to know for sure, that you're going to be safe doing this. Only then your mind can fully allow you to do it. What I said about your mind wanting to distract you; it is probably because of that. Because it doesn't feel safe. 
First you need to see that going into a feeling won't kill you. Focusing on a feeling for a brief time is a great exercise for this matter.. 
And, you Really need to feel safe before going into it. So ask yourself "What would make me feel safe?" Maybe it's having food/snacks right beside you. Maybe it's having someone around at house, and letting them know you may need them to be with you if something goes wrong. Maybe; you need to be cocooned to feel safe, so the ideal way to do the process is to wrap yourself up in a blanket and focus on the feeling then. I'm just giving you wild examples here so you get inspired. I don't know what makes you feel safe... 

4. You need somebody to be with you doing the process. You need a facilitator, or a friend to be with you. It relates to safety too. If this is the case, you can message me and I can skype you, doing the process. I already have a topic "Looking for friends to do shadow work with" so we can do it together :) 

5. Write as you go on with the process. Writing allows you to focus on one thing, solely. If your mind distracts you, as you're writing, you can solely focus on the feeling; write about the feeling and where you feel it in your body, how you are feeling it, how does the feeling feel like in your body and such. You can learn a lot about a feeling while writing too. Because all you've gathered about a feeling is saved there. 

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