Lucia Ll

What to do when you can't feel safe no matter where you are?

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What to do when you can't feel safe no matter where you are?

I've been passing through a dark night of the soul and the place I currently find myself doesn't feel safe at all however there is no other place opening for me, so; I try my best to be present with the emotions that are coming up yet I dissociate everytime or it (the emotion) becomes absolutely overwhelming so I have to stop.

How can I deal with the feeling of unsafety? It seems to create negative spirals that last for days and I just shut myself more to others which makes me feel more unsafe and it feels like being trapped in an intorelable situation. 

I will greatly appreciate any advice, thank you

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also the dissacociation may come through a thought, which says 'I cant do this', if u observe the thought u are not the thought the same way u observe the emotion, its actually ur eternal self not ur ego, also teals latest blog talks about safety and oneness, this will help too. Because sometimes when someone will be present it could be a shadow thought such as 'I will be present to get rid of', rather than 'I will be present no matter what and when'. therefore the ego is actually thinking its doing the work.

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Some times we can look too hard for answers instead of just listening , we expect the things we seek . This is familiar to my dark period. What worked for me was to avoid outside influences and to go head on at it , the uncomfortable feelings soon passed . I did this alone as I live in an isolated rural area , and my friends were not spiritual and would not have understood . This was a roller coaster ride of emotions and in the end revealed unknown childhood issues.  Try working with another on it , in a group if possible , this may settle feelings of segregation and so forth. Shadow work can be a painful exercise , but the results are outstanding and will change your life. Ask yourself , where is the lesson here ? Like old mate Damo said ; OBSERVATION. A great tool. In time , there should be little or no pain attached to such thoughts , it gets so much easier . Keep at it , the rewards are worth it all.  If things got too out of control , I would get under the shower and meditate for long periods. This always lifted me up and made me feel better. I still do this !

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Feeling unsafe is actually the vibration of being in danger. Safety and danger are opposite contrasts of the same polarity. 

So the question is how do we become safe when we are in a state of danger or perceived danger? 

You said you're continually going into downward spirals. What is the initial thought or experience which triggers the down ward spiral?  This would be the first thing to figure out so we can get to the root cause of this. 

Downward spirals are essentially the law of attraction not working in our favor. It is when we choose an intial thought, which becomes a point of attraction, which then attracts the next thought, and that attracts the next, and the next, and they continue  to become lower and lower attracting more of the same as the previous thought because we are focusing our attention towards that direction of low. 

 

Since you have recognized this downward spiral as occurring after the specific experience or thought to trigger this, you will begin to create a secondary point of attraction.  This point is "I always g into a downward spiral when ___ blank happens". Now you will certainly go into this spiral every time. And this becomes a secondary trigger point that whenever this experience or thought occurs, it will trigger the downward spiral again and again, which creates another downward spiral and another expectation of that happening, which becomes another point of attraction, and another trigger, it's another spiral, and the cycle continues. 

 

We must decipher this initial point with which the first thought of the downward spiral occurs. Because a downward spiral is nothing more than a series of thoughts strung along together that get lower and lower attracting like with like. Once discovering this initial point, we can begin to uncover its true meaning and deconstruct the spiral from occurring again. 

Edited by sparklinghueman
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3 hours ago, sparklinghueman said:

Feeling unsafe is actually the vibration of being in danger. Safety and danger are opposite contrasts of the same polarity. 

So the question is how do we become safe when we are in a state of danger or perceived danger? 

You said you're continually going into downward spirals. What is the initial thought or experience which triggers the down ward spiral?  This would be the first thing to figure out so we can get to the root cause of this. 

Downward spirals are essentially the law of attraction not working in our favor. It is when we choose an intial thought, which becomes a point of attraction, which then attracts the next thought, and that attracts the next, and the next, and they continue  to become lower and lower attracting more of the same as the previous thought because we are focusing our attention towards that direction of low. 

 

Since you have recognized this downward spiral as occurring after the specific experience or thought to trigger this, you will begin to create a secondary point of attraction.  This point is "I always g into a downward spiral when ___ blank happens". Now you will certainly go into this spiral every time. And this becomes a secondary trigger point that whenever this experience or thought occurs, it will trigger the downward spiral again and again, which creates another downward spiral and another expectation of that happening, which becomes another point of attraction, and another trigger, it's another spiral, and the cycle continues. 

 

We must decipher this initial point with which the first thought of the downward spiral occurs. Because a downward spiral is nothing more than a series of thoughts strung along together that get lower and lower attracting like with like. Once discovering this initial point, we can begin to uncover its true meaning and deconstruct the spiral from occurring again. 

this is beautiful, awesome stuff

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If you can't feel safe and you've done everything in your power to create a safe environment, yet you have the expectation that you should feel safe, it would make sense that you feel trapped in a spiral of helplessness! Feeling unsafe can come from many different areas of life and it might not even necessarily be spiritual, it might have to do with what you are eating or smoking or side effects of medications you're taking. Some people are biologically more likely to have anxiety so even when they do feel like they should be safe, they feel anxious anyway, and it is NOT their fault. It's not happening because you deserve it, but it is happening, and for that I am sorry. I would say that if you have done your best to create a safe environment and know intellectually and logically that you are in a safe place, then give yourself some credit. Feeling how you are feeling is always okay. It's okay to feel unsafe even when you know you are. I would recommend not trying to dive into the emotions anymore, as you already know it will probably only serve to make you more miserable while you are in this period. Your dissociation is protecting you for a reason, so let it! Try to focus on what makes you feel more comfortable. Let yourself dissociate sometimes. It's not a moral or spiritual failure, it's your body protecting you from becoming too overwhelmed by your emotions. If you have done your best, give yourself a little credit!

Your expectations can create some problems if they are too idealistic. Right now, if you feel unsafe and then meditate with the expectation that if you do it "correctly" then you will stop feeling that way, and you don't feel differently or feel worse afterward, then you're going to feel like a failure for not meeting that expectation on top of already feeling icky. But if you meditate with the intention of doing your best, then you will never have failed. Watch Netflix for a while, wrap yourself up in blankets and eat food that makes you feel nourished! Then, and only then, when you feel up to it, I recommend watching Teal's video on self love called Self Love - The Great Shortcut to Enlightenment. Doing the 365 days (or even 1 day) of self love can really help. You don't have to be enlightened all the time ;) It's okay to give yourself a break and just do things that feel good!

Reading your post breaks my heart because I'm in the exact same position as you. I know it hurts and I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I think when it comes to sadness, Teal's exercise on diving into the sadness and being unconditionally present with it can be helpful. But when you are feeling depression, like I suspect you are feeling, diving deep into it will only make you feel worse. Sometimes there is nothing you can do to make yourself feel differently, but accepting where you are, and knowing that where you are is 100% okay (seriously) can give you a bit of relief. How can you deal with feeling unsafe? Accept that you feel unsafe and sometimes doing your best doesn't always result in getting rid of the feeling. It doesn't mean you failed, it doesn't mean that if you tried harder that it would go away, it means that the universe is trying to get you to swallow this painful truth by putting you in the situation over and over and over. I would not recommend sitting next to this emotion to see where it comes from. Instead I recommend accepting where you are and stop beating yourself up for it. Stop doing what hasn't been working. Change what you can, accept what you can't. And know that you are loved.

Best wishes. I hope this helps!

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