Noémie Braun

Sharing crush story/childhood trauma

3 posts in this topic

Sharing crush story/childhood trauma

Hello everyone,

I am 23 yrs old (to give you an idea) and I've been having a crush on a guy since almost 2 Years now. I had a boyfriend in between, but I realise I'm not done with the crush, he still appears in dream time feeling like I want/need him but powerless to "have" him, or feeling like it's not okay to try to get his attention... At the beginning I told myself "forget about him Silly girl, he doesn't want you anyway!", but after discovering Teal and getting more in touch with my emotions, I understand that all of the painful emotions I feel about this guy actually come from childhood trauma and are not to be invalidated/rejected... I have nom conscious memory of such a trauma but I Know my dad wasn't very present in my early childhood (before age 8/10...), half of the year he wasn't home because of the job he did at the time as my mom told me. But I don't remember it.

 

I haven't done the completion process on the grief & powerlessness I feel when triggered about him, for now I've been learning to feel those emotions more lately. But also sometimes I doubt whether I'm really feeling those emotions or I'm in my mind...

 

I've never let myself talk about the pain to anyone, scared to show my vulnerability (like I Never cry in front of people for example), So I just wanted to share it here on the forum. Baby step to taking more care of the child self! 

 

If you relate to this/have healed childhood trauma around daddy issues, please share :)

 

 

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Oh I relate to this. 

I keep having this dreams about a high school crush. And I don't even want him anymore. I wake up annoyed, most of the times. That guy is such a douchebag. He rejected me and made fun of me...

I have daddy issues, my dad only was really present in my life afer I was 9.

Never thought to relate this dreams to that.

Maybe in my dreams I get the guy to not reject me... because all I wanted was to not be rejected by my dad.

thanks for bringing me clarity. I will meditate on that.

oh, and I was super scared  of being vulnerable too,I repressed everything...Now I cry on baby videos on you tube. Its kinda lame, but I like it better now. Feels free and authentic. Teal videos helped me with that.

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