Ale

Is it love or not

6 posts in this topic

Hi, everyone!

I need an advice, especially from those who have positive and healthy experience of romantic relationships or marriage. It happened sadly that in my late 20s I still have no experience of real love. I have one guy who I have grown an attachment to. Or maybe this is love so here I would like to ask for your advice.

So this guy theats me well most of the time. When we are together he is caring and attentive, he does not speak much about his feelings for me but showes it more with his actions. Mostly these are little signes which however mean a lot to me: he organised a picnic just for two of us and other events to amuse me, once when I spoke on the phone outside and my heandwas exposed to cold he covered it with his hand to warm it up and so on. Also he cooks for me and buys food, always takes heavy bags from me and provides physical support, etc.

When we are together I dont feel butterflies in my stomach as romantic books and movies often show. I am not enchanted by him, dont think he is perfect and ideal in everything. I see his weaknesses but it's not a big deal for me, like not very important. But what I like is that with him I always feel safe and... I dont know... like everything is right. It does not make me super happy and does not bring me to the 7th heaven but I feel so nice calmness behind him and it seems like everything will be right and good ahead. When he is out of the city I miss him and want to check up every day on how he is doing and feeling but at the same time I can't say I can't live without him. I think I can survive break up with him fairly well. I want him to be happy with or without me and I am able to live my life quite good without him, it's just much better when we are together.

So I would like to ask if it seems to you like love? Or real love is different and this one is just something superficial?

 

Edited by Ale
  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

He seems like a nice guy. I don't think romantic love has a defined set of rules. You decide what you need.I think you could have a stable relationship with him, but you don't feel like you are reeally into it. Is this truly what you want? I had confortable relationships, they can work. In the end I needed more... spice, I guess, or I would get bored. I have a strong personality, so I need a strong willed dude, you know. Now I have a great stubborn guy, and I love him more than all the others. hahaha.

I noticed that I always saved a part of my heart away from the confortable guys, you know, just in case. Maybe so I wouldn't be hurt so much by a breakup, or because my love was not that deep. But now in this new relationship (2 years btw) I feel that he has all my heart.

But, I'm a survivor in the end ( or maybe an aquarius, if you are into that), so I think I would be ok even if he left me. I would be in pain, don't get me wrong, but I would not roll over and die... but I don't think that makes a bad person or me love him less.

hope that helps. Good luck.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 It's hard question, it's over 7 billions people on Earth and it would be no same description what is Love, I like Bambi friend Owl warnings, it hits you suddenly on the way, at first starts shaking the knees, than you head starts dizzy and spinning, than you become light as feather and without realizing will start to walk on the air, and to do other crazy things. Also other people says you realizing that was Love just after relationships  ends...

Good luck

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@AleThere is love in the relationship. He is just not your twin flame. However, the vast majority of humans (90%+) are not in a Twin Flame relationship. You will have to feel in your heart if you want more out of love life.

The Twin Flame relationship always involves an intense energetic interaction. God built a special universe.. with the pinnacle of experience, to an extent, being meeting, joining, and loving your twin flame.

Good Luck!  :)

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ale, what you're describing is more of a very good and close friendship relationship. Which is also in my opinion is a great thing. I hear so many people are in shitty relationships. So it is nice to read about beautiful relationship for a change.  Appreciate what you have, make the most of it and enjoy without thinking about the end. No matter where you'll end up later  both of you at least going to know what good relationship feels and looks like and hopefully you can recognize it again if it comes to this. I think this is one of the main reasons why people end up or stay in toxic relationships is because they either forget or never had/seen what a good relationship is. Close friendship relationships are not much different from deep love relationships. So, yes, it is also Love. You're wondering because maybe you already know that something isn't there, as Amaryllis has mentioned - the spice. Do you feel attraction to him? Do you feel like enhancing that feeling between you two? Is he willing to do the same? because this is what you will need to do if you want it to be more,feel fresh and blossom again and again and again in the long run.

You said that things are better when you are together - this to me is indication of closeness and openess to each other. I don't know maybe this is what you're mistaken as an attachment which in this case i think is a healthy one :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As a man, I can say I've been in Love and have had experienced Love for a partner, but, it's important to recognize the difference between the two.. I would imagine that you are experiencing Love for the fellow you speak of, though are not "In Love" with him. Now the question of whether Love is real or not, depends on the depth of the feelings you hold for that person. There are many layers and levels of Love. Love for your Mother or Father, siblings, children and so on. The feeling of True Love is one that will enlighten and change you from within, through the struggles that surround you at the most difficult time of your life, to help you mature and survive, developing substance of your being and spirit. Love is the force from which all beings live. It is the purest form of energy, So when you find yourself truly in Love, you will want to do things for your partner because it makes you feel thrilled just to see him smile. You will want to care for him and be as excited to be with him as he would be with you.  The feeling of butterflies happens when you are nervous and shy because you want to make a good impression, yet, feel insecure about how he will feel about you. When you truly Love someone, it resonates at your very core. You will know it most certainly, but, I caution you at this point because, you will experience emotional turmoil if you don't keep your feelings and insecurity in check, know that you will bare your soul, your fragile spirit and explore the pain that accompanies disappointment, loss, jealousy and desire when the relationship veers off in a different direction than you would hope. I welcome your thoughts.

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now