MeganSee

Episode Discussion: Deflection

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Episode Discussion: Deflection

Question about the latest video on deflection. 

What can we do if someone close to us engages in feflection? I see this pattern in my spouse a lot. The majority of suggestions in the video are about how to avoid doing deflection (which is awesome, and which I'll take on board for myself), but are there suggestions for how to help someone else who deflects? (Or how to handle the frustraion of watching it occur?) 

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Hi MeganIAM, Our ability to help another adult change for the "better" is very limited compared to our ability to change ourselves. And is often suspect when we try to change another to better fit our own needs. After all, who are we to know what's best for someone else? Which I think is why most of Teal Swan videos are focused bringing about the changes we desire in ourselves.

I think couples counseling can be very helpful for some people. Or perhaps you could even ask your partner to watch the Teal Swan video with you saying something like "Sometimes, I feel like we do this." But, ultimately if the person does not want to change, they won't. That is their choice. And in recognizing this, and that it is your choice to either stay in the relationship or leave, you may find peace with the situation one way or another. I wish you and your spouse the best and hope what I wrote was helpful. - Aaron

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On 3/18/2017 at 11:53 AM, MeganIAM said:

 The majority of suggestions in the video are about how to avoid doing deflection (which is awesome, and which I'll take on board for myself), but are there suggestions for how to help someone else who deflects? (Or how to handle the frustraion of watching it occur?) 

I would love to know that too. Our 9 year old son does this a lot. It's definitely frustrating to try to handle it without going crazy, lol because most of his deflection comes from almost complete denial to just about anything i have to say or offer. So it's like beating your head on the wall between two realities and hoping to merge it.

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