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Emotional Processing: Integration vs. Release

Hey Fellow Teal Tribers, 
I´m 17 years old, almost 18, currently facing a major emotional obstacle in my life and thought maybe some extra guidance and opinions from you guys might be of value. It´s honestly really weing me down and I can´t seem to continue with my development and overall life journey. I feel stuck unable to make any decision. 
I´ve been meditating for about 7-8 months now on a consistent daily basis. (At least 20 minutes, most of the times an hour, up to 4 hours a day.) I can really feel that my awareness has been growing.
On the spiritual and Personal Development journey I´ve been for about a year and a few months now with growing ambition and commitment.
At the moment my motivation for all this is primarily to solve my emotional and the other psychological issues in connection to that like self esteem, self trust, self worth, self confidence, authentic values, self image and so on and so forth.
For about 10 days now I can feel a rather strong pressure in the area of my throat eminating from my heart. I´m convinced that those are suppressed emotions and feelings of grief, hurt, shame, despair, disappointment, betrayal, guilt, helplesnes/powerlesness/hopelessness, ignored, inadequatness, misunderstood, sadness, unhappiness, depression, insecurity and resentment. Emotions which I had to suppress in my past in order to survive in unpleasant environments which seemed unsolvable at that time. I suppressed and denied these emotions in order to cope with the stressfull circumstances I was faced with in order to still survive and develop but now it this previous decision is the very reason my development and wellbeing is blocked. I feel frozen, often lethargic and depressed, sometimes suicidal. Whatever you resist persist. ^^ The emotions are like an anker that I can´t seem to let go of. In some rare moments the wall breaks open like for instance when I watch a movie and am touched by something than I start to feel the whole capacity of these suppressed feelings but overall they´re still inside me. Every time I tried to fully allow them something in me was immidietly desperate to get out of them again and so I sucked them back up.
My awareness is at the point were I can feel which thougts cause my being to suppress and resist the emotions and what other effects on my health this has in my experience.
Besides meditation I introspect, go regularily to psychotherapy, eat a pretty damn healthy vegan diet, use disidentification or otherwise known non attachment, investigate my belief systems, judgements, meanings, shoulds, musts, can´ts, especially in regard to emotions to allow them and to stop seing them as an enemy, and of course study Personal Development, Spirituality and other topics from different sources to broaden my mind and fix my problems...or better said transform them.
I think it´s obvious for all of us that it´s very unwise to resist your negative emotion. Like I said it was necessary for myself, and for pretty much any one to one degree or anoter to survive in the past, but in the long run it just weighs one down and blocks his or her capability to be an open, loving and joyful human being at his or her peak performance.
These emotions are suppressed by resistant thoughts towards them and also my mind still thinks it has to be going back into these previous stressfull which cause feelings of Shame, Fear, Disease, Insecurity, Doubt, Uncertainty, Powerlesness and Despair relative to those suppressed emotions. Certain Paradimes also contribute to the resistance. Basically a layer on top of them. For that reason as I said I started to change my beliefs and meanings regarding emotions so the resistance would vanish and allow me to let go of them.
But of course this easier said than done thanks to survival mechanism, subconcious mind, ego attachments etc.
Basically every endeveaour attempting to change the circumstance feels completely useless...merely theoretical against these strong walls. It´s like flying with a fly against a f**king tank. I think resistance present in me towards it not working out and uncertainty also contribute to this block. A part of me is terribly afraid of the consequences of letting go and also doesn´t want to feel the emotions which seemed so unsolvable earlier in life. It feels like my whole safety and all the other psychological needs are connected to these suppressed emotions. A very strong fear of being abandondent if I allow, let go and follow my own path from childhood and early teenhood. I honestly still feel pretty damn victimized in this area of my life and because of this to life in general.
Teal teaches the concept of using the suppressed and triggered emotion to access the traumatic memory which caused the emotion to be suppressed in the first place and follow a process to undo the trauma and so integrate the emotional wound in The Completion Process (Shadow Work). She also claims that these suppressed emotions and unresolved traumas are the major cause for other health and overall life problems because the law of attraction mirrors them back in your reality and these emotions restrict the flow of source energy into your being because you are in a state of resistance.
My other ressources speak of similar ideas even though with slight variables.
In his vide "How To Deal With Strong Negative Emotions" Leo Gura ( describes a very simple yet as he says effective process to allow, surrender and let go of our negative emotions. 
Eckhart Tolle also speaks of simply allowing and surrendering to the emotion in his book The Power of Now so does Michael Brown in his book The Presence Process. 
Osho speaks of just being a wittness with a meditative awareness to the wall and let your awareness eventually cut through it.
All these processes have in common that it´s essential to release resistance to were you are, to surrender and by that let go. Personally I resonate with this 100% and I also belief that thoughts and emotions can have tremendous impacts on our health either beneficial or detremental. I also belief in the fact that these suppressed emotions cause external problems to manifest. So this part is clear but what about revisiting a traumatic memory and changing it ? Has anyone of you ever done this succesfully ? And if so how did you release your various points of reistance successfully ? Right now it seems like an almost impossible endavour to me to do so. 
The next question I have regarding to this whole issue is in regards to the work of Dr. Bradley Nelson. If you are not familiar with him he is an energetic healer and in his book The Emotion Code, which is considered to be revolutionary in the field of energetic healing, he talks about the concept of trapped emotions and the heart wall. He as well as Teal Swan, also speaks that these trapped emotions cause health problems, mental illness and also problems which interfer with manifesting the kind of life you desire. Teal even mentioned Dr. Bradley Nelson in her video How To Open Your Heart Chakra.  
His method is to communicate with the subconcious mind via muscle testing and then release these trapped emotions and the heartwall through magnets in a matter of seconds. You can do this yourself. I´m currently reading The Emotion Code so at this point I´m not entirely sure how it works. At the moments to me this sounds quit like magic and I can´t really believe it. Has anyone any kind of experience with this ? If so was it succesfully ?
In meditation I tried to intuitevely explore the issue by visualzing my emotions, blockages and my heartwall. For example if I´m correct my heartwall is about 50 kilometers thick made out of granit, fire and Currently I don´t know what to make out of this.
Is surrendering, allowing and integreation of a suppressed and unresolved emotion a contradiction to releasing trapped emotion and come from different points of view and understanding of the human system or are these just seeming oppositions and are instead complimentary contradictions. If so how can you use both processes and if when to know which one is appropriate to the circumstance ?
I believe than healing your unresolved emotional wounds is the single most essential step on this journey and on the path of life in general. Only then we can forgive those you have hurt us. Only then can we life accoding to our values and our integrity, in essence in alignemnt with our authentic self. Only then we can create the kind of fullfilling, joyfull and purpose driven life we came here to life and all want to create. Only then we can know and get what we want and need without feeling guilty, afraid or ashamed about it. Only then we can become whole again.
We as people need to take this step otherwise any other step on this journey will be almost pointless. Clouded by misonception and continous misjudgment stemming from the neurotic desire to escape our pain which really is just a part of us escaping ourselves. This we have to understand is an effort we can´t take part in long and it´s also not worth it.
Prcessing these emotions is essential otherwise no change can really take place because you´ll be blocked and without guidance in the vast ocean of life. We can´t build a positive self image if we desperately resist and try to get away of the emotional side in us. We can´t try to solve any of your problems if we don´t do this. 
We hold the power to claim back our freedom and create the kind of life we want even though often times it doesn´t seem like that.
So the question only stands...HOW to really do it succesfully ?
Are you aware of any other valuable tools and processes regarding the healing and integration of unresolved emotional wounds ?
If so please post them I´m very interested in a discussion and various opinions.


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