Storm

Compulsive Lying - The why and How it started

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Compulsive Lying - The why and How it started

Have you ever crossed paths with someone who you think is genuine only to find out that nothing about them is true? I'm just wondering how compulsive lying comes about in a person. What may have happened in a persons life to make them so insecure about themselves and see so little of themselves that they would fracture this part of themselves off and feel the need to create a barrier of this sort? What does it mean when someone lis compulsively? How has it come about and how can it be helped? How can the damages/trauma of a persons past/past life be repaired? Any thoughts?

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Liars are not born, they are created by socialization. Their truths were not accepted by the society, so they adapted fearing loss of connections. Cause is fear. Fear and greed are the 2 reasons why a person becomes compulsive liar. As teal says evryone is victim of victims

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@walt i would like to have a agreeable explaination from you or anyone. This is a forum, we are supposed to give our persepctive and experience. If people agree with it, they can take it or leave it. I dont think people are weak or dont have the understanding of the topic being discussed. If you disagree, i accept your disagreement with complete respect but then i deserve to know the truth. I posted about my experience with liars. No discussion should ever be stopped, otherwise the truth wont come out. Tell me the truth of compulsive liars and i will take it further and improve my understanding of humans. No disrespect at all. 

And, disservice is really not my intention. 

Edited by Aquarian

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On 14-3-2017 at 6:51 AM, Storm said:

Have you ever crossed paths with someone who you think is genuine only to find out that nothing about them is true? I'm just wondering how compulsive lying comes about in a person. What may have happened in a persons life to make them so insecure about themselves and see so little of themselves that they would fracture this part of themselves off and feel the need to create a barrier of this sort? What does it mean when someone lis compulsively? How has it come about and how can it be helped? How can the damages/trauma of a persons past/past life be repaired? Any thoughts?

I have a friend who loved to make up big stories about what he did and adventures he had. It was part bragging and part lying and me and my friends would always think 'there he goes again' but whenever we confronted him with it he would deny making up those stories but they were too good to be true. In his case it is clear that he needs the attention and wants to be admired. His parents never gave much love and made him do so many jobs around the house so he must come from a family where he is kicked down. But these are just my impressions I cannot know for sure. It is not that he lies a lot about everything but he did make up all those stories

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I had a major problem with compulsive lying all my life.  It was automatic with me.  After the conversation was over I'd always ask myself, "why the hell did I say that?" I said this multiple times a day, every day.

After digging deep it all came down to "rejection". I had a crippling fear of being rejected.  Growing up I was constantly being bombarded with rejection; What I did, what I wore, How I looked physically, Ideas I had, and most of all what I said.  

After a lot of work on myself and shadow work I no longer do it.  I guess I became truly comfortable with myself and the idea of "outside" rejection.  

Again this is just me, it may be different for you.  

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@Odetta I totally agree with that reason. We are not living in a society where we are accepted as a whole. As teal says, some aspects are not accepted by society and thus creating the fracture between concious and subconcious. And lying is one symptom of such a fracture. We want to be accepted the way we are...unconditional love and total acceptance. Otherwise we wont be complete.

Now, what @walt has done here is try to shame me for contributing in the forum with his quick judgements. This could have great consequences on a personality that is unaware. I could go on in a silent mode and stop contributing due to this experience but i wont do that, because i am a good student of teal's teachings. 

Judgement is a confession of character, so dont judge unless you want to be benefitted from judging process that is shadow work.

 

 

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On 3/15/2017 at 2:23 AM, walt said:

 

This is the worst explanation for a human symptom I have ever seen. Please don't respond to people looking for answers if you are clueless. It really does a great disservice.

Oh, c'mmon , Walt... i think that was actually a very good post.

On 3/14/2017 at 2:46 AM, Aquarian said:

Liars are not born, they are created by socialization. Their truths were not accepted by the society, so they adapted fearing loss of connections. Cause is fear. Fear and greed are the 2 reasons why a person becomes compulsive liar. As teal says evryone is victim of victims

I would also add that as we mature and gain more knowledge and understanding of things  lying is always a personal choice.

On 3/14/2017 at 1:51 AM, Storm said:

Compulsive Lying - The why and How it started

Have you ever crossed paths with someone who you think is genuine only to find out that nothing about them is true? I'm just wondering how compulsive lying comes about in a person. What may have happened in a persons life to make them so insecure about themselves and see so little of themselves that they would fracture this part of themselves off and feel the need to create a barrier of this sort? What does it mean when someone lis compulsively? How has it come about and how can it be helped? How can the damages/trauma of a persons past/past life be repaired? Any thoughts?

Yes. I know a person similar to that. We used to be closer to each other, like friends. Still are. Just rarely communicate. Unfortunately,  because the lying has become a very dominant part of this person's  life - many conversations became pointless and life just moved us further and further away. I don't know the main cause for this. I agree that it has to do with fear of rejection, perhaps also to make yourself look better. In the end i still see that lying caused more problems then anything to this person, especially in relationships, work places etc. The sad part also is that it's very hard to give advice or help people like that when they ask because you just never know what is actually happening. Which often leaves these people without feeling of support and feel rejected anyway as the result.

I think people in general  lie to other people all the time without realizing it :D 

Some more obvious than others.

So, at least let's try to remember to be honest with ourselves ! the more honest we're with ourselves the less lies we need to tell))))

 

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5 hours ago, Garnet said:

I think people in general  lie to other people all the time without realizing it :D

Yes I think so too, besides the lie an other negative aspect of the lie is that you have to remember it. Cause the nexst time the story should be the same. A person whos telling always the same story is lying.  This in turn does cost a lot of energy. When someone telling thru stories he doesnt need to remember cause he will recall it nexst time. It will be the same story but maybe with different words or more or less details. This is because our perspective is evolving as we life and he could see it from a different point of view. As for the one who's lying he cant change one thing cause the story is stuck in time. Because the underlying reason for them to do so is a belief/trauma/experience they had which is stored in the unconsious mind. Thats my view on it.

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11 minutes ago, Tibor said:

Yes I think so too, besides the lie an other negative aspect of the lie is that you have to remember it. Cause the nexst time the story should be the same. A person whos telling always the same story is lying.  This in turn does cost a lot of energy. When someone telling thru stories he doesnt need to remember cause he will recall it nexst time. It will be the same story but maybe with different words or more or less details. This is because our perspective is evolving as we life and he could see it from a different point of view. As for the one who's lying he cant change one thing cause the story is stuck in time. Because the underlying reason for them to do so is a belief/trauma/experience they had which is stored in the unconsious mind. Thats my view on it.

Hmmm.... i thought lie is a lie when nothing backs it up :D

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Just now, Garnet said:

Hmmm.... i thought lie is a lie when nothing backs it up :D

A lie is an alteration of what IS. 

And everything which is altered from the truth will be persistent. Thats why traumatic experiences stick.

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7 minutes ago, Tibor said:

A lie is an alteration of what IS. 

And everything which is altered from the truth will be persistent. Thats why traumatic experiences stick.

What about things that one has no proof about? is it a lie? 

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Just now, Garnet said:

What about things that one has no proof about? is it a lie? 

Well you have something like intuition that is something which is hard to proof but thats not a lie.

So the easiest way to look at it is as i said an alteration of truth. So everything what exists in this univers is containing an alteration. If it was not like this it wouldnt exist in this univers. Than it would be equal to source or awareness cause thats the ulitimate truth if you will. And ofcourse there are gradients of lies. That defines the density of the persistency. Look at heavy trauma's the are very heavy burdens. Lighter experiences have lesser alterations.

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10 minutes ago, walt said:

 

Adam, changing your name doesn't make your advice palatable.

 

This is not Adam, i am Amit. 

I would like to see your picture walt...would love to cast a spell on you and make you more mad. Also, please answer the very important questions i asked you, for the member's safety :laughing-yahoo-emoticon:

I wish, Teal makes a video on 'why do we lie?' Why do you lie walt?

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This sounds like another issue associated with low self esteem. My case involved putting up a front .  It all means you are hiding from your true self for what ever reasons. Authenticity can be difficult to achieve for some.

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