EarthColours

Competitiveness

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Competitiveness

I found this video by good ol' Ralph on competitiveness but I miss Teal's insight on the issue. I find myself feeling very competitive and threatened and depressed by people who are better than me (which is most people to be honest). Don't want to feel this way any more :(

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Hi EarthColours,

In my opinion, the feelings you have are important for being conscious of, and understanding, your thinking. And they can provide the inspiration and motivation to think thoughts that serve you better. Being competitive can be healthy. It can be a source of fun and joy, inspiring us to reach new heights in whatever we are being competitive about. But viewing anyone is actually better than you (in any general sense), and feeling threatened and depressed by that, or because of their performance in any particular competition, may reflect jealousy and/or envy. Below are a couple of Teal Swan links regarding that. I hope you find this helpful. I wish you the best. - Aaron

Jealousy and Envy (How To Deal With It) - Teal Swan -
https://youtu.be/J8FAoDCmLc4

Envy Quote
https://tealswan.com/teals-blog/envy-quote-r496/

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1 hour ago, EarthColours said:

Thank you Aaron. You are right that competitiveness is a form of envy. I hadn't made that connection. Looks like the subject has already been covered then :)

Hi EarthColours,

You're welcome. I appreciate your response to my response. Especially since it gives me a chance to clarify.

I do not think that competitiveness is a form of envy. One can compete without feeling envy and one can feel envy without competing. It is understandable to feel disappointed when one does not win or perform as well as they had hoped in a particular competition. But I don't think that is the same as envy either.

If the disappointment is relatively brief and mostly results in encouraging you to perform better, that can be helpful. One need not feel depressed or threatened when they lose. As Chess Grandmaster Susan Polgar once said “Win with grace, lose with dignity!”. To me, this is not just about how to behave, but how to think too. Depending on what you are doing, it can be normal to lose much more often than win. And its important to not beat yourself up over the result.

I think your feelings of being threatened and depressed by people who are "better than you" is envy. And while it is something you don't want to feel any more, I would suggest not looking at the feelings as the problem, but instead using them as important indicators of thoughts that may not be serving you as well as other thoughts you could be thinking. Changing your thinking in ways that feel better to you may, or may not, still include being competitive. Its up to you. Good luck!

Aaron

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12 hours ago, Aaron said:

... I would suggest not looking at the feelings as the problem, but instead using them as important indicators of thoughts that may not be serving you as well as other thoughts you could be thinking. ...

However, I was just watching a Teal Swan video Published on Oct 3, 2015. “Negative Thoughts Are Good! - Teal Swan -“ (link provided below). And what I got from the video is that before one goes about trying to change negative thoughts, (thoughts that don’t bring about desired results or feelings), it could be beneficial to look at what value they may have for you. And in any case, to focus on more positive thoughts as opposed to trying to repress negative ones.

https://youtu.be/j5jcXvxSxaU

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