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1 hour ago, Annap said:

Please can I find help somewhere

Guys I'm really sorry for this low and depressing cry for help. I'm at a point in my life now that I can't go on anymore. I have lost my parents at a young age, my mother commited suicide and after that i was places in a faster home where I was abused for all the years that I lived there. I tried to be strong, positive, happy. To heal, but I have reach a point of defeat. I have finally reach a point that I really really can't go on any longer. The tought of death, the tought to finally finally find release from this pain that I am in is a very strong growing desire. I have a dog and I love her so much and i don't want the consequences for her of losing me. I also don't want my body to be found and all the drama around it, I wish i could instead just vanish up in smoke like I never existed and not be a bother to anyone. I am now reaching out for help, I'm not someone to write this kind of messages or to show how i really feel but I don't know what else to do, I can't do this on my own anymore, I need some help. I really don't think I can pull myself out this anymore. The pain is to much, to overwhelming and I can't see any brighter perspective for the future. I hope there is someone who has the power to help in in any way possible, to guide me back in the right direction.I can't be alone in this pain anymore, is there anyone who can help in in whatever way possible. I live in the Netherlands if that matters 

Annap, you are never really truly alone - your mother while in Spirit is there to help. All you have to do is learn how to properly ask for help. Teal has a YouTube on this. Go look.

Teal has YouTubes on anything that you need. While this is not the same someone unconditionally there for you and totally present to listen to you without judgement (yes you live in a Dutch country and they are very hard critics) - so I understand why cries for help may not be socially acceptable.

Go look in the European part of Teal Members Map below and find someone near you. If they are a Teal Tribe Member they should be able to help. I know all this is done online and feels remote, but watch Teal's story, read her book on your true worth titled "The Scupltor in the Sky" and think on all Teal says. She like you was abused and at the end. The fact she committed emotional suicide and realised all her fears about where she was at, saved her. Read about it in the Intro section of  her third book "The Completion Process".

Having said all that, I believe the second book of Teal's is the most important to you at this stage; you need to learn how to Love Yourself, as a supreme eternal soul and connect with that part of yourself you are only beginning to realise: the fact that you are at the stage of crying for help shows you have already made the most important step to Recovery; that you have asked for help. Resonate with this and more help will arrive - it has to if you have asked!!!!

Stay together - do not do anything rash. Think of your pet dog and her devotion to you; non-juging, unconditional and that you do not want to leave her behind. Thinking of your dog and that bond will change your thought pattern. What you have done by thinking thinking thinking all these same thoughts about ending life will eventually stop - but only because you decide they must stop. YOU are in control of your life.

Teal did this small mind trick - she asked herself the question: "If I decide to end my life in the next hour, what can I do right now to bring myself some Joy before I end my life?"
So immediately she did what came in to her head - you, go eat heaps of icecream, or walk the dog in the park, or sing all your favourite songs at the top of your lungs! Whatever you feel will bring some lightness to your Being.

Once she had the next hour under control, Teal said to herself: "If I decided to end my life in 2 hours time, tomorrow, what can I do in that time to bring myself some happiness and Joy?
Then she extended it to a day, then 2 days, then a week, then a year And so on. But do it gradually. Find your JOY in every living moment. So rather than resist life, embrace it!

I hope this helps. Sit down and change your thoughts for they feed on each other and you need to simply focus on something other than these thoughts. Try Teal's method. Look through her website and find how Teal did it. Struggle is Daily - no mistake but I believe in you, that you can overcome yourself and find your Joy. This life is full of struggling  you are not alone; there are many out there in your position. Go read some Members profiles and find others that share your pain. By sitting in your pain instead of trying to resist it, see where it takes you - inspires you to change and make a difference. Do it for YOU.

AND Ask your mother for help. Ask your Higher Self to help. You have been so focussed on your thoughts that the feelings and emotions you HAVE DISCONNECTED FROM MESSAGES CONSTANTLY TRYING TO REACH THROUGH TO YOU. The emotions you constantly feel are in fact ones you are receiving but they have been misunderstood. Let your heart and Love permeate your being and stop the mind-set that you have constantly going on in your head. Go find some Joy, right now. And get back to me.

PS I live in NZ so time-wise there may be some delay - we are at the end of the working day but I'll hook in again to see what you have got up to since this contact :-)

Light and Love
Crystal Rob 

Edited by Crystal Rob
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You are not alone. You are surrounded by all the spiritual entities that exist in the other world and you are surrounded by people who also need love and connection. Seek out opportunities to help others who are hurting and lonely and help them. Share your dog with others who may not be able to have one of their own. Someone said, "I cursed God because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet." The best way to overcome loss and depression is to be there for others who need help. Be blessed, be a blessing! May I pray for you?

Universal God be with Annap your child , love him and comfort him in his time of sorrow and heal his heart so that he can be a blessing to all he meets. Let him know what joy he brings to others by his presence and his love. Fill him with the light of your love so that he can love and comfort those who struggle with their own loss. In Jesus Name, Be Blessed!


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Anna, Pastor George has a point. By looking at your situation only its easy to get immersed in only your problems. Saying that, I am not trying to reduce the importance of your own problems and situation, but there is a valid point in realising what others also go through: the person with no shoes meeting someone with no feet. 

Your cry for help has been heard. Others are there to help. But you have to want that help and I think Anna that you do. Learning about yourself is important in that there is always a lot more worth than you are currently realising of yourself. You cannot lose your Worth and you cannot gain Worth - you have always been eternally worthy but what has happened to you has dirtied the beautiful stained glass window that is you and your true worth, so that it's not shining as colourful as it should. Now you need to rub a little corner of your stained glass to see its true colour and some of your true Worth. Teal has a YouTube (or check her website here for her many episodes and search for 'Worth'.

I leave with this quote from Teal:

Reuniting with Self
By Teal Swan:
"How far must we deviate from ourselves?
How long must we abandon ourselves?
Since the moment we first chose to do so
We abandon ourselves in birth.
And if we do not rejoin ourselves over the course of our lives
We rejoin ourselves in death.
We must die to ourselves In order to be born
And all life is a process of being re-born to ourselves.
And what of emotion?
Emotion is the tether
Emotion is the link that remains when all else is lost
Emotion is the only remnant of the true self
Which we abandoned in order to be born here.
Emotion is what leads you back to you
All things done on this planet are done to escape emotion.
Every cigarette smoked
Every lover gained
Every book read
Every bite eaten
We even find our way to spirituality because we are desperate to escape the way we feel
But then we find that the only way to find joy and to set ourselves free permanently,
Is to walk into the eye of the storm
To be so ready to die as a result of our pain
That we stop running or escaping
We stop trying to feel better
We stop trying to change the way we feel
And instead,
We walk right into the eye of the storm
Ready for it to swallow us up
Even daring it to
For the first time in our lives, we do not abandon ourselves,
Because for the first time, we do not run from the way we feel
We do not try to use positive focus to move away from ourselves
We do not use alcohol to suppress ourselves
We do not use a lover to protect us from ourselves
Instead, we move towards and into our feelings.
We don’t ask them to change
We don’t want them to be different
We are simply in and of and with them
And because of it, we are completely in and of and with ourselves
And something beautiful happens…
After practicing the art of being with ourselves again and again
The universe reveals itself in its entirety
There is a hole inside all people
A deep emptiness, wanting to be filled up
But what is that emptiness?
That emptiness is grief.
Greif is the baseline emotion for all people incarnated on this planet.
But what is it that we are all grieving?
The answer is the loss of self
We lost ourselves in our birth into physical form.
We abandon ourselves when we separate ourselves from that which we truly are
From source
Like a stone dropped into still water
The ripples from that original transgression
Travel outward
After the original separation from our true selves,
We re-live that separation again and again
Separation from the womb
Separation from the breast
Separation from our parents
Separation from friends
Separation from lovers
Separation from our children
And eventually, separation from life itself upon our death day.
We suffer the original separation throughout the duration of our lives.
We suffer to the degree that the desire within us
To be whole again
Is strong enough
To draw us back to ourselves.
To draw us back to source
Because Source and self are one and the same.
Greif is at the core of all of our lives.
All of us abandoned ‘ourself’ to come here
We broke into a billion pieces
We call them by different names
I am Teal
You are John
Or Mary
Or William
Or Emily
All pain and suffering on this planet, is a ripple
Cast off from the original stone
Of Separation
All human behavior
Is seen accurately through the stages of grief
The entire emotional scale
Is in essence, the expression of a grief process
When we are separated from other people
And feel as if we have lost them
As they leave us
As they die,
The grief we feel, is none but a reflection
Of the original loss of ourselves upon our birth
And we will lose our loved ones
As long as it takes
To reunite
With ourselves again
This grief process that is occurring within all of us,
Is the grief process of having lost a loved one
And we have all lost this loved one
We have all lost ourselves
We could not be born unless we did
And so, this grief is shared by us all.
We are united in this grief
And yet, we are torn apart by it
This grief process now plays itself out upon the world.
It accounts for all of our actions as a species
We are utterly powerless at birth.
We deny what has happened to us
We feel utterly isolated
We become angry
Because we are so scared
We start to bargain with our parents
And then we bargain with the world
We fall into depression
Because nothing can make the hole inside of us go away
And one day, we either die because of it
Or we find acceptance.
To find acceptance for the separation
And to set ourselves free from the prison of it
We must go straight into the eye of the storm of grief.
To be reunited with ourselves,
We must let ourselves grieve
We must let ourselves grieve for the loss of ourselves
And in every following thought and word and movement
We must make a vow to never abandon ourselves again
We must make a vow to be completely with ourselves
In each and every moment of our lives
Without needing ourselves or the way we feel
To be different."

You can do this Anna, I believe in you

light and love

Crystal Rob





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Thank you guys, I am doing much better now and regained back some perspective. I have never written messages like this, usually I take care of my pain and these feelings on my own. But I am starting to see that it's important to sometimes seek out to connect en not only when I'm happy and cheerfull but now for a moment also in my my darkest thoughts.

It is not so easy to share something on this level with people around me, it just makes people very uncomfortable because everyone is so busy trying to feel good all the time, or atleast trying to let everyone believe that they're living a problem free life.

I realised it is not so much whatever advise you give, eventhough there has been some good wisdom shared. It is just the fact that eventhough you might feel all alone, there is someone somewhere in the world who takes some time to see you, to read your story and try to give a helping hand.

And that's just beatiful, it really is. And it gives me lot's of support just to know that. Thank you so much for the kindness and love <3

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@Annap if there is ever a need, contact any one of us personally. You are at the start of your journey - may you always look to walk down the less travelled path!

Love and Light

crystal Rob

Edited by Crystal Rob
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