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hubbardalicia

Wellness treatment for parents

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Wellness treatment for parents

Hey, my parents are divorced and they are living separately. This has affected my life really bad because I had lost all the good times in my childhood. I was not given the proper care and attention by my parents. Now, they have come to a compromise and has agreed to live together. But, they still have some problems in their relationship. My brother is asking them to visit the wellness treatment center. Is the treatment over there effective in building their relationship? I am totally unaware about how the treatment will be like. Please give some genuine replies and suggestions.

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Hi Alicia,
Teal may have some YouTubes that can help you get a perspective on all this. Essentially though, you cannot ever help someone if they don't want to be helped. It's up to the individual to want to change. This tends to happen when something major happens in someone's life and they realise that they gotta change, or else; that they simply cannot carry on the way they are. You parents seem to be stuck in a rut. Could go either way but obviously the effect it's had on you and your brother in indeed traumatic.
Think on this though Alicia, watching what has happened to your parents may be a lesson that is for yourself - like it may get you to thinking that you never would do what they do to each other - you'd never do that to someone else and what they are going through may simply be there to inspire you to make sure you don't.
All this requires is awareness of the results and the impact on others; basically what impact you create in a relationship with others. And I'm talking any interaction with anyone else - from the corner store clerk to the little old lady walking down the street Boyfriends, best friends, anyone - we leave an impact on all people we interact with. Does this make sense? If you reflect on how you treat people and realise that you could do better, maybe that is all you need to take out of your parents' problems?
I pose this as a simple way to help yourself not anyone else.

So your parents - they may be simply playing out their role in your experience so that you want change and stop yourself doing what they do to each other. We are all on different paths and all on different speeds and to cause change at their stage of life; maybe you just have to let it happen and play itself out. It's a hard thing to face - letting people tear each other apart, but you gotta realise you are you and they are themselves, not you. Yes, Unity are we all are One. But on an individual level, you don't have the experience of their lives as they grew up - this are their filters that they react to when they make something mean what it means to them. breaking that cycle of emotions may be harder than you think. Tehre are Competion Process Practioners out there that can help. You just go to be willing to take that step for your benefit, not anyone else's

.
At this point I want to explain that you are more important to yourself than you realise. The fact you are asking these questions - is it for them or for you? Maybe they are perfectly happy carrying on this way - after all they have been doing it for some time. I'd look at you changing you. I'd suggest that your brother and you look at changing as I believe you are both capable of changing your awareness level and healing the trauma your parents have caused for you benefit not theirs. Again, I stress, you cannot change someone that does not want to. This may mean watching their relationship crumble all over again and realise that may be the best thing for them both. And you. Accept where they are - I mean fully accept. Teal has a YouTube on this - look up her series and pick ones that resonate. 

Your parents may be harder to get to change or may be simpler. Problem here, is that the longer we live in years the more well-worn are the neural pathways that create the problem of "this means... to me". And the more judgement and blame we put on others. It becomes a well-worn pathway that happens automatically when we are confronted by something that 'triggers' us. Teal has vids on this sort of stuff to help you understand the dynamics of constant thoughts and automatic judgements. Her book The Completion Process also goes into this. 

Have a look at the bottom of this web page to find out mopre about Teal's books and workshops. I'd suggest reading her first book "Sculptor in the Sky" first, then "Shadows before Dawn (how to love yourself), then check out her Completion Process.
Basically, if you can convince one of your parents - the most amenable to change (i.e.: most likely your mother), then get her to see a Completion Process Practitioner in your area. Because both your parents are a vibrational match for each other, simply changing one parent will break the dynamic that have together. When the vibration of one changes, the other will no longer be a match to all the heartache and ill will. The result though, may not be as you'd dearly want it to be. The result may be that they are never ever together again. 

You have to then ask yourself, is that change what you are yourself willing to face?
And can you, yourself change by becoming more aware of the affect it has had on you? Maybe you can;t change your parents, but you can certainly decide to change yourself. That is what growth is all about; changing what is in your own head so that it no longer affects you. Teal has YouTube subjects on relationships etc etc. Effecting change on yourself is much much more important than affecting change on your parents. 

 

Alicia, I hope this all helps you and your brother. Love is really important - the fact you want to help your parents, to me screams of the fact that you need more help than them. I hope this is the start of looking after yourself :-)

Light and Love,
Crystal Rob

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